"It was worth it," he answers without hesitation, and he says it with a bit of a dopey smile but he means it with all his heart. They're simple words, but they're so remarkably full of truth. Joel had been worth the wait, worth every second of loneliness he's ever felt because this is what had been waiting for him. This life, that he couldn't have anticipated or even asked for because he wouldn't have been able to imagine it to be something he could ever call his own, everything he has here and now and with his husband--all of it had been worth that wait.
There are days when he'll be tidying their room and find something that reminds him of how far they've come since that day they'd met. The other day, he'd found his copy of Blood Meridian buried among a pile of books at the foot of their bed, the one that he'd hid under his pillow that day Joel had come to see him after what had happened with Mark. He'd been desperate for anything that would keep Joel in his mind, not that he would have been able to think of much else aside from the lighthouse at the time, because in spite of everything, Joel's still the only person who'd ever made him feel so safe. The sheer relief he'd felt the moment Joel had walked through the door in the lighthouse, he remembers it so clearly even though he tries to push thoughts of that night out of his mind as often as he can, but it had been from the first time Joel had spent the night in his bed that Spencer had understood with perfectly clarity just how much he truly needed this man.
He's been in love with Joel since day one, he knows that now even if he hadn't allowed himself to admit it then, but there's been no holding back since Midsummer's Eve. It had been so easy that night, saying the words, and he doesn't know if it was the sparks of magic between Joel's fingertips and his skin or finding out about the column that connects them in their auras that had made it so, but whatever it had been, Spencer's grateful for it. They would have found their way to exchanging the words eventually no matter what, but that night... Magical just barely begins to describe it.
"No, I don't suppose it would be," he says, laughing in spite of how distracted he is by the gentle touch of Joel's thumb on his cheek. "You can take comfort in the fact that I'd be just as embarrassed. Cheeks flaming, sweat pouring down my face, nervous stuttering, the whole nine yards." He's never had much of an opportunity to get caught in a compromising position by his mother, not that it sounds particularly desirable, but he'd had the unforunate experience of walking in on his brother once. He'd managed to spin on his heels and slam the door back shut before seeing anything that might have scarred him for life, but Dane had been very adamant about establishing a knocking rule from that day forward.
He and Joel don't quite have the luxury of that rule right now, not when they're wrapped up in each other on the couch, but Spencer isn't worried. If he's honest, Spencer's enjoying that they have this time to themselves without having to be aware of anyone else's presence in the house. It's rare that the two of them are home alone because their schedules are fairly on par with Raleigh's, and it's not that he's resentful about that in any way, it just happens to be nice when the timing works out like this. He's spent many nights accompanied only by a book and a glass of whiskey on this very couch, oblivious to how incredible his life would be once Joel walked into it.
He tilts his head forward so he can press a kiss to the hollow of Joel's throat, pushing himself up on his elbows so he can graze his teeth over the side of Joel's neck. "On second thought," he says, tone light as he smiles against Joel's skin, "maybe I don't care about any of that right now. Like you said, it's our house. We can do whatever we'd like." That could consist of anything from Spencer resting his head in Joel's lap and drifting off to sleep to the soothing sound of Joel reading aloud from a book to the both of them taking their clothes off and making love by the fire. Whatever they choose is of no particular consequence to Spencer because all that matters to him is that they do it together. "Would you be more or less embarrassed if we were caught playing strip book trivia? Which I'm not sure is a thing that exists but we could certainly change that."
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There are days when he'll be tidying their room and find something that reminds him of how far they've come since that day they'd met. The other day, he'd found his copy of Blood Meridian buried among a pile of books at the foot of their bed, the one that he'd hid under his pillow that day Joel had come to see him after what had happened with Mark. He'd been desperate for anything that would keep Joel in his mind, not that he would have been able to think of much else aside from the lighthouse at the time, because in spite of everything, Joel's still the only person who'd ever made him feel so safe. The sheer relief he'd felt the moment Joel had walked through the door in the lighthouse, he remembers it so clearly even though he tries to push thoughts of that night out of his mind as often as he can, but it had been from the first time Joel had spent the night in his bed that Spencer had understood with perfectly clarity just how much he truly needed this man.
He's been in love with Joel since day one, he knows that now even if he hadn't allowed himself to admit it then, but there's been no holding back since Midsummer's Eve. It had been so easy that night, saying the words, and he doesn't know if it was the sparks of magic between Joel's fingertips and his skin or finding out about the column that connects them in their auras that had made it so, but whatever it had been, Spencer's grateful for it. They would have found their way to exchanging the words eventually no matter what, but that night... Magical just barely begins to describe it.
"No, I don't suppose it would be," he says, laughing in spite of how distracted he is by the gentle touch of Joel's thumb on his cheek. "You can take comfort in the fact that I'd be just as embarrassed. Cheeks flaming, sweat pouring down my face, nervous stuttering, the whole nine yards." He's never had much of an opportunity to get caught in a compromising position by his mother, not that it sounds particularly desirable, but he'd had the unforunate experience of walking in on his brother once. He'd managed to spin on his heels and slam the door back shut before seeing anything that might have scarred him for life, but Dane had been very adamant about establishing a knocking rule from that day forward.
He and Joel don't quite have the luxury of that rule right now, not when they're wrapped up in each other on the couch, but Spencer isn't worried. If he's honest, Spencer's enjoying that they have this time to themselves without having to be aware of anyone else's presence in the house. It's rare that the two of them are home alone because their schedules are fairly on par with Raleigh's, and it's not that he's resentful about that in any way, it just happens to be nice when the timing works out like this. He's spent many nights accompanied only by a book and a glass of whiskey on this very couch, oblivious to how incredible his life would be once Joel walked into it.
He tilts his head forward so he can press a kiss to the hollow of Joel's throat, pushing himself up on his elbows so he can graze his teeth over the side of Joel's neck. "On second thought," he says, tone light as he smiles against Joel's skin, "maybe I don't care about any of that right now. Like you said, it's our house. We can do whatever we'd like." That could consist of anything from Spencer resting his head in Joel's lap and drifting off to sleep to the soothing sound of Joel reading aloud from a book to the both of them taking their clothes off and making love by the fire. Whatever they choose is of no particular consequence to Spencer because all that matters to him is that they do it together. "Would you be more or less embarrassed if we were caught playing strip book trivia? Which I'm not sure is a thing that exists but we could certainly change that."