"Spencer," Joel breathes, his eyes closed, his hand still moving over his cock as he thrusts deeper into him and that's it, that's all he's capable of because Spencer is begging him and he's saying please over and over again in that voice that makes Joel feel like everything inside him is being laid bare for Spencer to see. He always feels this way, more vulnerable, more exposed than he ever has before and it's the single most thrilling experience of his life. To have given so much to one person that he feels like Spencer knows every single part of him, can see every emotion, can feel all his thoughts and his fears, it should be scary, but it isn't and that's one of the many ways in which he knows Spencer is the person he's meant to be with. For so long he's been afraid to let people in, but it happened so quickly with Spencer, so easily, and here he is, the arm he has locked around Spencer's waist tightening as he comes inside him, his face pressed against his warm skin, gasping for air.
He doesn't know how he's still breathing, how he's still standing, how he's holding himself up against Spencer's body. His knees feel like they're locked in place and they're the only things keeping him from sinking to the ground in a satisfied, useless pile that only wants to be wrapped around Spencer until he falls asleep. Vaguely he realizes they can't sleep in here, he can't just curl up and press himself against Spencer's body and spend the rest of the night here. They have house guests, they have a puppy, they have responsibilities, but all he can think of right now is how incredible Spencer feels, still warm and tight around him. All he can think of is how good it feels to be pressed up against his back, his cock still buried deep inside him, his hand around the heavy warmth of Spencer's length. All he can think of is how in love he is, how happy he is, how he'll never want for anything so long as he has Spencer's love.
"I love you," he says again, nuzzling against the side of Spencer's throat and he knows he never wants to leave this place. The muscles in his arm actually hurt from holding on to Spencer's waist so tightly and he loosens his grip a little, but he doesn't pull away from him, not yet. All he can do is stand there and hope his legs don't give out any time soon because he wants to enjoy this. He wants to remember this night in the library as much as he wants Spencer to remember it. It's not just about making love to him in the library, it's not just about the physical aspect of it because their sex life is full and it's fun and Joel knows how much they enjoy one another, how good they make each other feel. This is about reminding Spencer why he loves this room and that Mark Fuller isn't around anymore and shouldn't be able to take anything from him. This is Spencer's room and it should always be Spencer's room and Joel wants to remind him of that.
He wants to give it back to him. This night, this opportunity, it's like Spencer has given him the chance to give him the best gift he can. It isn't tangible, it isn't physical, but Joel hopes he's done at least a little bit toward giving Spencer this room back. He can't take the memories away, but he can try every night for the rest of his life to replace them with better memories and all he can really do is hope that this is a good start.
He's more than sated himself, trying to hold himself up instead of sagging against Spencer because he's fairly certain if he does that it will only send the both of them to the floor. While he's sure they're going to end up there anyway, he doesn't want to be the heavy weight dragging the two of them down. Turning his head, he presses a kiss against Spencer's sweat slicked shoulder, then smiles against his skin. "I love you," he says again. "I love you."
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He doesn't know how he's still breathing, how he's still standing, how he's holding himself up against Spencer's body. His knees feel like they're locked in place and they're the only things keeping him from sinking to the ground in a satisfied, useless pile that only wants to be wrapped around Spencer until he falls asleep. Vaguely he realizes they can't sleep in here, he can't just curl up and press himself against Spencer's body and spend the rest of the night here. They have house guests, they have a puppy, they have responsibilities, but all he can think of right now is how incredible Spencer feels, still warm and tight around him. All he can think of is how good it feels to be pressed up against his back, his cock still buried deep inside him, his hand around the heavy warmth of Spencer's length. All he can think of is how in love he is, how happy he is, how he'll never want for anything so long as he has Spencer's love.
"I love you," he says again, nuzzling against the side of Spencer's throat and he knows he never wants to leave this place. The muscles in his arm actually hurt from holding on to Spencer's waist so tightly and he loosens his grip a little, but he doesn't pull away from him, not yet. All he can do is stand there and hope his legs don't give out any time soon because he wants to enjoy this. He wants to remember this night in the library as much as he wants Spencer to remember it. It's not just about making love to him in the library, it's not just about the physical aspect of it because their sex life is full and it's fun and Joel knows how much they enjoy one another, how good they make each other feel. This is about reminding Spencer why he loves this room and that Mark Fuller isn't around anymore and shouldn't be able to take anything from him. This is Spencer's room and it should always be Spencer's room and Joel wants to remind him of that.
He wants to give it back to him. This night, this opportunity, it's like Spencer has given him the chance to give him the best gift he can. It isn't tangible, it isn't physical, but Joel hopes he's done at least a little bit toward giving Spencer this room back. He can't take the memories away, but he can try every night for the rest of his life to replace them with better memories and all he can really do is hope that this is a good start.
He's more than sated himself, trying to hold himself up instead of sagging against Spencer because he's fairly certain if he does that it will only send the both of them to the floor. While he's sure they're going to end up there anyway, he doesn't want to be the heavy weight dragging the two of them down. Turning his head, he presses a kiss against Spencer's sweat slicked shoulder, then smiles against his skin. "I love you," he says again. "I love you."