Joel's words will have an impact--more of an impact--when he wakes up tomorrow, when he sees that Joel is still in his bed, that they're both still alive, that they're both still going to be here for each other. Right now, there's pain and misplaced guilt and exhaustion clouding his mind to the point that he barely feels like he can think straight anymore. At least part of that is likely due to the fact that he'd been knocked out a matter of a few hours ago but Spencer has to admit that the idea of having enough pain medication brought to him to knock him out is starting to sound quite appealing.
On the one hand, he wants to stay up all night just so he can keep watch over Joel because that's one of his duties now, making sure that his husband is safe. He's already failed at keeping Joel unharmed but he can make up for it now, he thinks, by being here. By staying, the way Joel had come to the home they share now and stayed after what had happened at the lighthouse. Their connection grows stronger every single day, the incident with Mark almost seems like a lifetime ago now, and the rings on their fingers dictate that Spencer will never leave; but there isn't a single moment that Spencer has ever thought that maybe it's too much.
There's never been a time that Spencer has wondered if either of them have bitten off more than they can chew, if they've made a mistake in dedicating themselves to each other in such a short period of time, because it's not the time that matters. There's nothing that could be too much for Spencer, not when it comes to Joel because for his husband, there's nothing he wouldn't do. There's nothing he can't do because Joel's right, together they'd been able to fight off a demon. What more could life possibly throw at them?
Of course, he'll be of no use to Joel if he can't even function from lack of sleep. Spencer wants to be there for Joel for anything, for everything, whether it's to adjust his bed or fluff his pillows or sneak him a cup of coffee, and he knows that he needs to get better himself to be able to do that. Deteriorating in front of his husband's eyes isn't something he can do, it's not something he'd ever make Joel watch. "Stronger together," he murmurs, eyes fluttering even as he tries to keep them open just for a little while longer. "I know we are, and I'll always be here for you. If there's one thing you can let yourself know for sure, let that be it. Hydras and demons and awful cruises and lighthouses and-- god, and fatherhood, I'll always be here."
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On the one hand, he wants to stay up all night just so he can keep watch over Joel because that's one of his duties now, making sure that his husband is safe. He's already failed at keeping Joel unharmed but he can make up for it now, he thinks, by being here. By staying, the way Joel had come to the home they share now and stayed after what had happened at the lighthouse. Their connection grows stronger every single day, the incident with Mark almost seems like a lifetime ago now, and the rings on their fingers dictate that Spencer will never leave; but there isn't a single moment that Spencer has ever thought that maybe it's too much.
There's never been a time that Spencer has wondered if either of them have bitten off more than they can chew, if they've made a mistake in dedicating themselves to each other in such a short period of time, because it's not the time that matters. There's nothing that could be too much for Spencer, not when it comes to Joel because for his husband, there's nothing he wouldn't do. There's nothing he can't do because Joel's right, together they'd been able to fight off a demon. What more could life possibly throw at them?
Of course, he'll be of no use to Joel if he can't even function from lack of sleep. Spencer wants to be there for Joel for anything, for everything, whether it's to adjust his bed or fluff his pillows or sneak him a cup of coffee, and he knows that he needs to get better himself to be able to do that. Deteriorating in front of his husband's eyes isn't something he can do, it's not something he'd ever make Joel watch. "Stronger together," he murmurs, eyes fluttering even as he tries to keep them open just for a little while longer. "I know we are, and I'll always be here for you. If there's one thing you can let yourself know for sure, let that be it. Hydras and demons and awful cruises and lighthouses and-- god, and fatherhood, I'll always be here."