There's something incredibly sweet about the idea of taking Spencer's angel to the cemetery and leaving it with his mother and brother. The idea makes him feel like they're still being included in Christmas somehow, even though they're no longer really here to enjoy it, and Joel smiles and shakes his head. "It isn't odd," he says simply, taking a moment to look up at the angel, to enjoy how it sits up at the top of the tree. It's a little old, certainly, clearly made by a child, but he likes how it looks on top of the tree and not only because it's a part of Spencer's life from before they'd met. He likes it because it reminds him of what they're going to have together going forward. A family of their own, a child who will make their own decorations, who'll come home from school with all sorts of things to show the two of them. Christmas tree toppers, certainly, but also pencil holders and picture frames on Father's Day, paintings done in class, paper flowers. All sorts of things he cant even begin to imagine right now.
"I think it's nice," he says. "Leaving it for them if that's what you want to do. It... involves them in a way. It's nice." And if Spencer wants to do it, there's no way Joel would be able to tell him no. There's no reason, of course. It doesn't hurt anyone at all, it's sweet and if it makes his husband miss his family just a little less at this time of year, then Joel is happy to contribute to it. He's happy to go with him to their graves and he'll happily give up the angel as well, even if it does think it's awfully cute.
He laughs at Spencer's next comment, though, handing him the end of the strand of lights. "It shouldn't be too hard that first year, but the years that follow might be interesting," he says, imagining a squirming toddler trying to get out of Spencer's lap. A little child with his husband's smile and his eyes, the playful way they crinkle at the corners when he's really happy. He can just imagine a little boy or girl like that just trying to get out of the picture and run around the room instead. No matter what they do, he knows any child is going to have a lot of energy and isn't going to want to sit through photos, but he's looking forward to it already regardless.
"You'll never have to spend another holiday alone," he promises, reaching out with his broken hand, his good one occupied with the strand of lights. Gently, he brushes his fingers against Spencer's, giving him a bright smile. "I'll make sure to make every single special somehow." And it's a big promise, he knows that, but he wants to make it happen. He wants to do something special, even if it's something small, every single year for Spencer. He doesn't want his husband to ever have to wonder if another year is going to be lonely.
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"I think it's nice," he says. "Leaving it for them if that's what you want to do. It... involves them in a way. It's nice." And if Spencer wants to do it, there's no way Joel would be able to tell him no. There's no reason, of course. It doesn't hurt anyone at all, it's sweet and if it makes his husband miss his family just a little less at this time of year, then Joel is happy to contribute to it. He's happy to go with him to their graves and he'll happily give up the angel as well, even if it does think it's awfully cute.
He laughs at Spencer's next comment, though, handing him the end of the strand of lights. "It shouldn't be too hard that first year, but the years that follow might be interesting," he says, imagining a squirming toddler trying to get out of Spencer's lap. A little child with his husband's smile and his eyes, the playful way they crinkle at the corners when he's really happy. He can just imagine a little boy or girl like that just trying to get out of the picture and run around the room instead. No matter what they do, he knows any child is going to have a lot of energy and isn't going to want to sit through photos, but he's looking forward to it already regardless.
"You'll never have to spend another holiday alone," he promises, reaching out with his broken hand, his good one occupied with the strand of lights. Gently, he brushes his fingers against Spencer's, giving him a bright smile. "I'll make sure to make every single special somehow." And it's a big promise, he knows that, but he wants to make it happen. He wants to do something special, even if it's something small, every single year for Spencer. He doesn't want his husband to ever have to wonder if another year is going to be lonely.