just_another: (015)
Joel Waters-Baker ([personal profile] just_another) wrote 2015-06-19 07:07 pm (UTC)

It doesn't surprise Joel in the slightest that he comes out with something he thinks is so daring, so unlike what he's usually capable of, and Spencer is able to return it without the slightest hesitation. He loves that about Spencer, that his husband can keep him on his toes, that he's always able to come up with something Joel might not quite be expecting without even needing to try, and he grins over at Spencer, nudging another kiss against the curve of his jaw. Whatever they get up to together after the movie, he's more than certain it's going to be pleasurable for the both of them. After more or less giving up on the idea of sex after two abysmal attempts at having some kind of connection with people, Joel is sometimes still so stunned that he and Spencer have worked together so perfectly. It wasn't that he hadn't wanted to have a sex life of any kind, but Joel recognizes now that his attempts had just been the wrong kind. What he needs, what he's always needed is a real connection to someone, the kind of love that runs deep, and he's just never had that with anyone other than Spencer. This is just what he'd needed, what he'd been waiting for without even realizing it all those years, and he considers himself incredibly lucky to have found it. For Spencer to have been here in town all that time, for neither of them to have really made the connection until the Hydra had some rampaging through town says something to Joel. He doesn't know what it was, what they were waiting for, but he trusts now that it was meant to happen when it did. He had needed to grow, he'd needed to better understand what he wanted out of another person so that when it was finally presented to him he wasn't just going to mess it all up.

And yet he still almost had. It's not something he wants to think about now, he doesn't want to carry it through their second attempt at a first date, but now and then he's reminded of the fact that he nearly ruined this perfect life. At the time his fear had seemed like the best excuse possible for not being by Spencer's side, but now he knows how stupid that is. People are afraid of all kinds of things and they get up and go through their lives every day, holding that fear, controlling it carefully. Being afraid of hurting Spencer, being afraid of getting hurt himself, that hadn't been a good enough reason to walk away from him and he knows that now. He isn't afraid anymore, but he knows if there's anything that happens, any moment that comes up from now until the end of time in which he's scared, he isn't going to run from it. Not when it comes to Spencer and their family. Anything that frightens him now is something he'll face because this man, this baby they're waiting for, this family, it's all more than worth fighting for. He isn't going to pretend he'll never be afraid or that he'll never find any task daunting, but what he knows is that he can find the strength and courage to do anything thanks to Spencer.

"I don't know if it counts as spoiling you when I benefit from it, too," Joel points out, pressing a little closer to Spencer and shifting so he can drape his arm across his shoulders. He had gone out of his way to get a movie he thought they both would enjoy, but at the same time he can't say he would particularly mind being distracted and he smiles as he tilts his head to the side, pressing soft kisses against Spencer's cheek and then up toward his ear. Spencer's talking about their baby now, speaking about her as if she's already here and he loves that so much. Whenever they decide on a gender, even if it's only a temporary decision before they switch back to the other, he loves the sense of decisiveness it lends the entire situation. They could very well be wrong, but it makes it easier for him to imagine their baby, a little boy or a little girl, depending on what they've focused on this time, and at the moment he can picture her clearly. She looks like Spencer, blonde and sweet, with clear hazel eyes and his strong features.

"I just like seeing you happy," he murmurs a second later, having gotten distracted pressing kisses against Spencer's warm skin. He smells like the store, like a hint of shampoo and soap, a little like the beer they're both drinking, though Joel is sufficiently distracted from his. And under all that, there's that scent that's so distinctly Spencer, something Joel has never been able to put into words, but encompasses so much of what he thinks of when he thinks about his husband. It's familiar now, something he loves more than he knows how to express, the scent that will always make him think of his husband and home and everything that matters to him in this world. Pressing closer, he buries his face against the curve of Spencer's throat and breathes him in, his eyes closed and his mouth curved into a smile. This is exactly where he always wants to be. Wrapped up in Spencer, close and comfortable like he's never been anywhere else and a soft little sigh escapes him, a small, happy noise that whispers across Spencer's skin.

"If that means I'm spoiling you, then that's okay," he continues, his lips brushing against Spencer's throat as he speaks. "Because I'm certainly getting something out of it. Seeing you smile. Being able to do this, just be here with you. I don't think it's so bad to spoil you if this is where it leads."

He's about to say something more when his phone makes a soft dinging sound and Joel makes a disgruntled noise without moving away from Spencer. It's likely just Charlotte or Raleigh, the only two people who text him even half as much as Spencer does, and so he ignores it, leaving it in his pocket. There's a far more important task at hand anyway, which is pressing soft kisses down the length of Spencer's neck, completely ignoring the movie and getting significantly closer to his husband in every way possible. The loveseat might not be particularly large, but he thinks they can make use of it. Or they will once his phone stops going off.

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