There are already shivers working through him even before Spencer tips his chin up, even before his tongue traces down the length of his neck and he groans, a noise he doesn't think he could muffle even if he wanted to. They're lucky no one is home, because Joel's already more than lost in the sensations of Spencer touching him, in the feeling of his hands and his mouth, and there's nothing else in the world he can think of. There's absolutely no way he'll be able to remember himself later if he's already so completely caught up in how good everything feels. In the day to day, Joel tries, he really does. Knowing they're not often entirely alone in the house means he can't exactly cry out the way he wants to when he comes and he's done his best to remember that, but tonight it's just the two of them and Joel doesn't have to think of anything other than how incredible Spencer's hands feel when they roam over his body.
"Oh, god," he breathes, leaning heavily against the shelf behind him, one of his hands groping for leverage and finding the edge of one shelf in particular. His other hand falls first to Spencer's shoulder, fingers pressing into his skin as he meets his husband's gaze and he's gotten better with practice, he can last longer now when they're together, but there's something in Spencer's eyes that nearly undoes him right there and Joel lets out a soft whine as he squeezes his eyes shut. They need to take their time, he knows they do, but another deep shiver races through him and he has to force himself not to look, not to think about how amazing everything feels, because if he does he knows he isn't going to last very long and he wants this to be perfect. He wants to give Spencer everything he needs, he wants to make this night memorable enough that it helps him write over the terrible memories he has of this room.
"Spencer," he murmurs, opening his eyes again as his hand moves, cupping his cheek first and then the back of his head. He's not thrusting, but his fingers clench lightly, tugging at Spencer's hair and he puts all his focus on the hand he has gripping the shelf. If he concentrates on that, if he clenches his fingers tighter against the wood then he can look down at Spencer without feeling like he's going to completely come undone within moments. It won't last forever, but he needs to hold on.
"You're so... you... god, you're good at this," he finally manages to say, a breathless sort of laugh escaping him. Everything they do together feels incredible and Joel knows neither of them are particularly experienced, but he's fairly certain their relationships speaks to the fact that experience isn't always necessary. Being this comfortable with someone, being this turned on by Spencer's mere proximity, knowing they can trust each other, knowing there's nothing he can say or ask for that would make Spencer judge him, that is what makes them work so well together. He would never have this with anyone else, he'd never find it with another person, because it's Spencer who puts him at ease, who frees him to feel so comfortable.
They don't have to have been with a dozen other people to be good for each other. He's glad they haven't been. Everything he does, every moan he makes, every roll of his hips, every single time he's aroused, it's all for Spencer. Joel's never thought of saving himself or anything like that, he's just never really cared until Spencer came into his life, and now he's glad there hadn't been anyone else in such a long time. He was waiting for this and he's so glad he did.
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"Oh, god," he breathes, leaning heavily against the shelf behind him, one of his hands groping for leverage and finding the edge of one shelf in particular. His other hand falls first to Spencer's shoulder, fingers pressing into his skin as he meets his husband's gaze and he's gotten better with practice, he can last longer now when they're together, but there's something in Spencer's eyes that nearly undoes him right there and Joel lets out a soft whine as he squeezes his eyes shut. They need to take their time, he knows they do, but another deep shiver races through him and he has to force himself not to look, not to think about how amazing everything feels, because if he does he knows he isn't going to last very long and he wants this to be perfect. He wants to give Spencer everything he needs, he wants to make this night memorable enough that it helps him write over the terrible memories he has of this room.
"Spencer," he murmurs, opening his eyes again as his hand moves, cupping his cheek first and then the back of his head. He's not thrusting, but his fingers clench lightly, tugging at Spencer's hair and he puts all his focus on the hand he has gripping the shelf. If he concentrates on that, if he clenches his fingers tighter against the wood then he can look down at Spencer without feeling like he's going to completely come undone within moments. It won't last forever, but he needs to hold on.
"You're so... you... god, you're good at this," he finally manages to say, a breathless sort of laugh escaping him. Everything they do together feels incredible and Joel knows neither of them are particularly experienced, but he's fairly certain their relationships speaks to the fact that experience isn't always necessary. Being this comfortable with someone, being this turned on by Spencer's mere proximity, knowing they can trust each other, knowing there's nothing he can say or ask for that would make Spencer judge him, that is what makes them work so well together. He would never have this with anyone else, he'd never find it with another person, because it's Spencer who puts him at ease, who frees him to feel so comfortable.
They don't have to have been with a dozen other people to be good for each other. He's glad they haven't been. Everything he does, every moan he makes, every roll of his hips, every single time he's aroused, it's all for Spencer. Joel's never thought of saving himself or anything like that, he's just never really cared until Spencer came into his life, and now he's glad there hadn't been anyone else in such a long time. He was waiting for this and he's so glad he did.