Spencer doesn't answer him, not with words anyway, but when he presses back, Joel can't help but push forward, his cock sliding into Spencer's body and it's not with the same sort of ease he can normally thrust into him, but he can't seem to stop himself and he doesn't think Spencer wants him to anyway. There's so much about this moment he wants to remember, so much of this that will only ever belong to them and when Spencer's head arches back against his shoulder, when he threads their fingers and squeezes his hand so tightly, Joel lets out a choked off moan that does nothing to express just how incredible he feels. He moves carefully at first, but it doesn't take long for Spencer's body to adjust to him, to let him in and then Spencer is speaking, telling him he's perfect and Joel has to squeeze his eyes shut tight again because everything is so overwhelming and he needs to have control over himself for just a little while longer. This is about both of them, it's about how they feel when they're together as it always is, but it's bigger than that, too. It's about making new memories for Spencer in this room, it's about giving something back to his husband, something so big and important that Joel will do anything to make this right.
"You're mine," he echoes, the words a breathless growl against Spencer's ear and he braces himself, plants his feet so he can thrust into him harder and at the same time the hand that isn't locked around Spencer's waist slides down, smoothing over his skin until his fingers brush against the base of his cock. "You're mine and I'm yours and... oh god, Spencer," he breathes as he wraps his hand around his cock, his grip tightening for just a moment as he feels Spencer's body tightening around him.
He's never felt this good and it's the same thing he thinks every single time he and Spencer are intimate. He's never felt this good, everything only ever gets better with them and he knows it's because he falls in love with Spencer more every single day. When he wakes up in the morning and turns over in bed, before the sun has even come up, hours yet before he knows Spencer will wake up, he often just lies there and listens to him breathing. He'll shuffle closer under the blankets and slide his arm around Spencer's waist, tucking himself against Spencer's back so he can feel every breath he takes and he'll fall asleep like that when normally he would be up for the day. There had been a time when Joel would wake up at four in the morning and he'd be awake, that would be it, but it's different now. He can wrap himself around Spencer, lose himself in the rhythm of his breath and slip right back to sleep.
Or he looks at him from across a room -- any room -- and he's struck dumb by how amazing a man he's found. He'll simply stand there, floored all over again by the fact that Spencer had not only agreed to go on a date with him, but had fallen in love with him, had invited Joel to live with him, had agreed to marry him. It happens at least once a day and it's happening again now as he thrusts into Spencer, sweat clinging to his back, his chest, the hollow of his throat. He is by far the luckiest person alive for someone like Spencer to want him in any way, and Joel's arm tightens around him, his face pressed against the side of Spencer's throat so he can breathe him in.
His fist moves over Spencer's cock, stroking him in time with his thrusts, and Joel has no idea how he's still standing when his knees feel this weak. "I love you," he whispers against Spencer's ear and he only realizes now that he's been murmuring it for a few moments, that he's been saying it over and over again, but it's the thing he feels most keenly, right down through his bones. He was meant to be here, he was meant to love this man and he'll do it to the best of his ability until the day he dies and beyond. Joel doesn't believe in the afterlife, he doesn't believe he'll go to a happy, glowy place in the sky where he'll be with his loved ones again, but he believes in energy. He has to when he can see it so clearly and he knows, whatever is left of him when this body gives up, it will always love Spencer.
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"You're mine," he echoes, the words a breathless growl against Spencer's ear and he braces himself, plants his feet so he can thrust into him harder and at the same time the hand that isn't locked around Spencer's waist slides down, smoothing over his skin until his fingers brush against the base of his cock. "You're mine and I'm yours and... oh god, Spencer," he breathes as he wraps his hand around his cock, his grip tightening for just a moment as he feels Spencer's body tightening around him.
He's never felt this good and it's the same thing he thinks every single time he and Spencer are intimate. He's never felt this good, everything only ever gets better with them and he knows it's because he falls in love with Spencer more every single day. When he wakes up in the morning and turns over in bed, before the sun has even come up, hours yet before he knows Spencer will wake up, he often just lies there and listens to him breathing. He'll shuffle closer under the blankets and slide his arm around Spencer's waist, tucking himself against Spencer's back so he can feel every breath he takes and he'll fall asleep like that when normally he would be up for the day. There had been a time when Joel would wake up at four in the morning and he'd be awake, that would be it, but it's different now. He can wrap himself around Spencer, lose himself in the rhythm of his breath and slip right back to sleep.
Or he looks at him from across a room -- any room -- and he's struck dumb by how amazing a man he's found. He'll simply stand there, floored all over again by the fact that Spencer had not only agreed to go on a date with him, but had fallen in love with him, had invited Joel to live with him, had agreed to marry him. It happens at least once a day and it's happening again now as he thrusts into Spencer, sweat clinging to his back, his chest, the hollow of his throat. He is by far the luckiest person alive for someone like Spencer to want him in any way, and Joel's arm tightens around him, his face pressed against the side of Spencer's throat so he can breathe him in.
His fist moves over Spencer's cock, stroking him in time with his thrusts, and Joel has no idea how he's still standing when his knees feel this weak. "I love you," he whispers against Spencer's ear and he only realizes now that he's been murmuring it for a few moments, that he's been saying it over and over again, but it's the thing he feels most keenly, right down through his bones. He was meant to be here, he was meant to love this man and he'll do it to the best of his ability until the day he dies and beyond. Joel doesn't believe in the afterlife, he doesn't believe he'll go to a happy, glowy place in the sky where he'll be with his loved ones again, but he believes in energy. He has to when he can see it so clearly and he knows, whatever is left of him when this body gives up, it will always love Spencer.