"Careful," Joel says softly when Spencer makes a noise that sounds distinctly like he's in pain. He knows the demon had hurt him, he remembers that he'd been knocked unconscious and the nurse had told him as much, that the doctor had been concerned about another head injury and he feels a wave of guilt threatening to overtake him. They're here, he reminds himself, and they might be injured, but they can recover. That's the most important thing. Right now it isn't going to do either of them any good if he lets himself succumb to the guilt he feels and so he shakes it off as best he can, just watching Spencer for any signs of pain, wanting him to be comfortable, wanting to do anything and everything he can do just to make sure that happens. For the time being there isn't much he can do, given that he's stuck in this hospital bed and he's not sure when they'll let him leave, but as soon as he's home, he's looking forward to being able to do whatever he can to help them both get past this.
"At least fifty years," he agrees with a little smile, leaning over to press a gentle kiss to Spencer's cheek. "And you're right, things are going to change, but I think... I think you're right about the rest of it, too. I think it's going to be a good thing. I... I feel different Spencer." The more the sedative wears off, the more aware of it Joel becomes. There's a sense of being alone in his mind for the first time in what feels like forever and he hadn't even been aware of the presence, he hadn't known he wasn't alone, but now that he is he can feel how different it is. It's a freedom like he's never known before, not having to share his thoughts and his space with something else. There's a thought that it should feel like he's empty, like he's missing something, but it's not like that at all. The thing that had been inside him hadn't been welcome there and now that it's gone, all he feels is relief.
"Do you remember what I read about it... it blocking some powers and drawing out others?" he asks, looking down at his hands. "I'm good at protective charms and healing potions, but I've never been as good as my mother. She's always had a knack for it and at first I thought I just had more to learn, but now I'm wondering if... maybe it was blocking that, too. Maybe I'm meant to be as good as she is." Eleanor can just lay her hands on people sometimes and draw out their own. Her potions are far superior to Joel's and the protective charms she can give people have been known to last decades. Eventually Joel's have always failed. Not right away, not even within a year, but eventually, and now he's wondering if he'll be able to do more. If he'll be able to dig down and find the powers that were being blocked.
If maybe they'll all be for the good of others.
"And my premonitions," he says slowly, looking over at Spencer, trying to gauge his reaction. "Maybe... maybe I'll be able to finally make use of them. Maybe they won't hurt." He wonders if they hurt because they were being blocked on purpose, if the demon was trying to keep him from seeing the future because it was worried he might see what was coming for him. If that's the case, if he can use these premonitions for good, if they won't leave him with blinding headaches and more questions than answers, then maybe everything really is about to change.
Then he smiles and kisses Spencer again. "I can't wait to set up the nursery and pick out new furniture with you, Spencer," he murmurs. "The one thing this demon had no control over was you." Because if things are changing so significantly inside him, he doesn't want Spencer to doubt that his love has been real and true right from the beginning. It's the one thing he can feel for certain hasn't changed at all.
no subject
"At least fifty years," he agrees with a little smile, leaning over to press a gentle kiss to Spencer's cheek. "And you're right, things are going to change, but I think... I think you're right about the rest of it, too. I think it's going to be a good thing. I... I feel different Spencer." The more the sedative wears off, the more aware of it Joel becomes. There's a sense of being alone in his mind for the first time in what feels like forever and he hadn't even been aware of the presence, he hadn't known he wasn't alone, but now that he is he can feel how different it is. It's a freedom like he's never known before, not having to share his thoughts and his space with something else. There's a thought that it should feel like he's empty, like he's missing something, but it's not like that at all. The thing that had been inside him hadn't been welcome there and now that it's gone, all he feels is relief.
"Do you remember what I read about it... it blocking some powers and drawing out others?" he asks, looking down at his hands. "I'm good at protective charms and healing potions, but I've never been as good as my mother. She's always had a knack for it and at first I thought I just had more to learn, but now I'm wondering if... maybe it was blocking that, too. Maybe I'm meant to be as good as she is." Eleanor can just lay her hands on people sometimes and draw out their own. Her potions are far superior to Joel's and the protective charms she can give people have been known to last decades. Eventually Joel's have always failed. Not right away, not even within a year, but eventually, and now he's wondering if he'll be able to do more. If he'll be able to dig down and find the powers that were being blocked.
If maybe they'll all be for the good of others.
"And my premonitions," he says slowly, looking over at Spencer, trying to gauge his reaction. "Maybe... maybe I'll be able to finally make use of them. Maybe they won't hurt." He wonders if they hurt because they were being blocked on purpose, if the demon was trying to keep him from seeing the future because it was worried he might see what was coming for him. If that's the case, if he can use these premonitions for good, if they won't leave him with blinding headaches and more questions than answers, then maybe everything really is about to change.
Then he smiles and kisses Spencer again. "I can't wait to set up the nursery and pick out new furniture with you, Spencer," he murmurs. "The one thing this demon had no control over was you." Because if things are changing so significantly inside him, he doesn't want Spencer to doubt that his love has been real and true right from the beginning. It's the one thing he can feel for certain hasn't changed at all.