"I'll be okay," Spencer murmurs, shifting just slightly so that he's putting less pressure on his shoulder. His injuries are minor, considering he'd been thrown into a wall, and the MRI scan his doctor had forced upon him had shown no lasting damage to his head. He considers himself lucky, really, because he's taken more blows to the head in the past few months than in his entire lifetime and each time, he's walked away with nothing more than the occasional bad headache. Besides, it's Joel that he's been worried about since the second he'd walked through the doors of their home. What the demon had done to him, the way the demon had used him, had been so utterly terrible that the memory of seeing Joel's body being abused like that makes him flinch harder than remembering that his shoulder had been dislocated or that the next time he takes his shirt off, his back will look like a discolored mess.
The important thing is that he'll heal, Joel will heal, they'll help each other heal more than just on the surface. Spencer knows he couldn't have made it through the ordeal with Mark without Joel. It's not that he'd needed help from just anyone, it's that he'd needed Joel, he'd needed the only person who'd been there and could have understood what he'd been through. He can be that person for Joel now, the kind of person who's willing to carry him on his back all over again because this is what they'd signed up for when they'd married each other. Nothing matters more to Spencer than Joel, absolutely nothing, and he could lose everything else but as long as he has his husband, he knows he'll still feel safe. He'll feel secure, like nothing can touch him, Joel gives him this strength that nobody else has ever been able to truly offer.
He glances down at his husband when Joel mentions his premonitions, arching an eyebrow at the notion that having them might not cause him pain anymore with the demon gone. "Remember when I saw you on that park bench?" he asks, pausing to leave a kiss against Joel's forehead. "Back in May? I still didn't quite know how to process how I felt about you, but I told you that I thought it was admirable that you were trying to work on getting a better grasp of the premonitions. That hasn't changed." His expression softens, and he rests his cheek against Joel's hair. "I've always hated seeing you in pain, baby, but if having that demon inside of you is what made those premonitions hurt you, if having it gone suddenly makes things clear and you want to do good things with that, I'm not going to try to stop you. How could I?"
There's a certain element of danger, Spencer thinks, that might come with Joel using his premonitions to help people; but he also thinks that if their positions were reversed, he'd want to do the same thing. Besides, he reasons, Joel wouldn't be in that alone. Spencer would be there every step of the way, watching for any hint of pain and raising a fuss if he ever saw one. "We just have to watch out for each other," he says, "just like we've been doing all this time. And you're right, the demon had no control over me. It couldn't have stopped me from loving you or seeing the kind of man you really are. You saved my life three times before you even kissed me, and I-- I don't know. There's no faking that."
Even with the knowledge that the demon had likely been there all along, waiting it out all these years, searching for the right time to surface, it doesn't change anything for Spencer. Every ounce of love he's felt from Joel had come from Joel because nothing as evil as what the thing that had been inside his husband could have been capable of making Spencer feel like that, like this, like he'll always feel. The connection between them couldn't have been manufactured, it couldn't have been falsified, it's something that exists because Spencer's future is with Joel. No power in the universe could ever change that, he's sure of it.
"The TempurPedic stays," he says suddenly, tone firm but light, "and if we don't leave it for a few days after they let you go home, I won't mind. I just want to be with you. I just want to be next to you and know that together, we can always beat the odds."
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The important thing is that he'll heal, Joel will heal, they'll help each other heal more than just on the surface. Spencer knows he couldn't have made it through the ordeal with Mark without Joel. It's not that he'd needed help from just anyone, it's that he'd needed Joel, he'd needed the only person who'd been there and could have understood what he'd been through. He can be that person for Joel now, the kind of person who's willing to carry him on his back all over again because this is what they'd signed up for when they'd married each other. Nothing matters more to Spencer than Joel, absolutely nothing, and he could lose everything else but as long as he has his husband, he knows he'll still feel safe. He'll feel secure, like nothing can touch him, Joel gives him this strength that nobody else has ever been able to truly offer.
He glances down at his husband when Joel mentions his premonitions, arching an eyebrow at the notion that having them might not cause him pain anymore with the demon gone. "Remember when I saw you on that park bench?" he asks, pausing to leave a kiss against Joel's forehead. "Back in May? I still didn't quite know how to process how I felt about you, but I told you that I thought it was admirable that you were trying to work on getting a better grasp of the premonitions. That hasn't changed." His expression softens, and he rests his cheek against Joel's hair. "I've always hated seeing you in pain, baby, but if having that demon inside of you is what made those premonitions hurt you, if having it gone suddenly makes things clear and you want to do good things with that, I'm not going to try to stop you. How could I?"
There's a certain element of danger, Spencer thinks, that might come with Joel using his premonitions to help people; but he also thinks that if their positions were reversed, he'd want to do the same thing. Besides, he reasons, Joel wouldn't be in that alone. Spencer would be there every step of the way, watching for any hint of pain and raising a fuss if he ever saw one. "We just have to watch out for each other," he says, "just like we've been doing all this time. And you're right, the demon had no control over me. It couldn't have stopped me from loving you or seeing the kind of man you really are. You saved my life three times before you even kissed me, and I-- I don't know. There's no faking that."
Even with the knowledge that the demon had likely been there all along, waiting it out all these years, searching for the right time to surface, it doesn't change anything for Spencer. Every ounce of love he's felt from Joel had come from Joel because nothing as evil as what the thing that had been inside his husband could have been capable of making Spencer feel like that, like this, like he'll always feel. The connection between them couldn't have been manufactured, it couldn't have been falsified, it's something that exists because Spencer's future is with Joel. No power in the universe could ever change that, he's sure of it.
"The TempurPedic stays," he says suddenly, tone firm but light, "and if we don't leave it for a few days after they let you go home, I won't mind. I just want to be with you. I just want to be next to you and know that together, we can always beat the odds."