It's been one hundred and ninety-three days now since the first day they'd met, since Spencer had started the process of handing his heart over to the only man who could handle it without breaking it, and he remembers bringing up the subject of his bed when Joel had come to the house but being entirely incapable of keeping himself from blushing furiously about it. Joel had made him so nervous before he'd been able to make him comfortable, though it's very much a testament to how Spencer had already felt about him than anything else. He'd spent a long time trying to ignore what people thought about him, about keeping to himself as much as possible so he wouldn't have to hear the whispers, but Joel was the first person who'd ever made Spencer want to be more than what he thought he could ever be. As far as Spencer had been concerned, he was a librarian and that was good enough. Now, he's a husband, a friend, a son-in-law, a brother-in-law, a bookshop owner, a future father, a man whose life has been changed so much for the better because of the person beside him.
He owes Joel so much, certainly his life several times over, and Spencer knows that neither of them are keeping score but he could also never forget any of it. The reason he'd been alive to get that demon out of his husband was because Joel had been there to save him from the Hydra. It's just what they do, even from the beginning, they take care of each other. It's his turn now, to make sure that Joel doesn't strain his hand or get out of bed too often or too quickly or that Joel's getting enough to eat while he's sentenced to bed rest. These are the things that will be easy, but he'll be there for the hard stuff, as well. He'd made a vow to do just that, and he doesn't have any plans to go back on it. The most important thing in the world to him is that Joel is safe, that Joel is healthy and alive and breathing, and Spencer would do anything to make sure that stays true. The same will go for their child when he or she comes, it'll be the same of both of them because they'll be responsible then not just for each other but for their tiny babies who will have no choice but to believe that they're in good hands.
He's not going to let them down, not his husband and not their children, because he's been let down before and Spencer would never want to put his family through that. They're going to be happy, it's almost a mantra by now, but he has to keep believing it because even though they've been through awful trials, Spencer is ready to accept that his life is going to be a good one. He's ready to accept that they deserve better. He knows he's going to wake up in the morning and find Joel holding the baby in his arms, trying to feed them formula before they wake up and cry because he doesn't want Spencer to have to be woken up for that. Spencer thinks maybe he'll develop a sleeping problem to rival Joel's because he'll be obsessively checking on the baby's breathing every five minutes until his husband laughs and tells him to go to sleep.
"Keyword 'almost,'" Spencer says, shooting Joel mock warning look that shifts easily into a tired smile. "My longest relationship is still with that bed, by the way, so you've got a bit of competition." At the mention of Charlotte, he sobers because he suspects that she'll be terribly upset they hadn't told her about the demon a long time ago. It had been Joel's decision, and Spencer had respected it. He'd have done the same thing, he thinks, because he'd want to keep as many people as possible safe. They have the sort of friends who like to jump in and offer any help they can even if it's in the face of danger, but Spencer knows that neither of them have any space left in their conscious to bear the burden of the kind of guilt that'd come with putting the people they care about in danger. So they'd kept Charlotte in the dark and maybe by now, her mental connection to Joel is back to being fully operational, but he hasn't gotten any angry calls from her yet so he thinks they might be safe from her rage in here.
Then again, his phone had been in the back pocket of his jeans, which are now in a bag that he'll have to request be brought here. There's no way he's leaving this room, not until Joel's leaving it with him, not when he wouldn't want to be alone if he were in Joel's shoes. "Having her keep it open while we can't be there would be very helpful," he admits, and he knows he shouldn't be thinking about business when Joel's injured but it's not as if he has a separate source of income now. They're not going to be in trouble if the store stays closed for a few days, not by any means, but Spencer doesn't want to have to be focusing his attention on anything other than his husband while Joel recovers.
"When you're well enough to take more visitors, I'll call Erin," he says, trailing his fingers up and down Joel's good arm. "We can ask her a million questions to distract her from asking us what happened, that should work, right? Perhaps not but still, it'll be the first time we get to see her when she's pregnant." He's done his research, and Erin likely won't be showing for another few weeks or so but that doesn't matter. She's pregnant, the baby is going to be theirs, and Spencer wants Joel to be able to see her.
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He owes Joel so much, certainly his life several times over, and Spencer knows that neither of them are keeping score but he could also never forget any of it. The reason he'd been alive to get that demon out of his husband was because Joel had been there to save him from the Hydra. It's just what they do, even from the beginning, they take care of each other. It's his turn now, to make sure that Joel doesn't strain his hand or get out of bed too often or too quickly or that Joel's getting enough to eat while he's sentenced to bed rest. These are the things that will be easy, but he'll be there for the hard stuff, as well. He'd made a vow to do just that, and he doesn't have any plans to go back on it. The most important thing in the world to him is that Joel is safe, that Joel is healthy and alive and breathing, and Spencer would do anything to make sure that stays true. The same will go for their child when he or she comes, it'll be the same of both of them because they'll be responsible then not just for each other but for their tiny babies who will have no choice but to believe that they're in good hands.
He's not going to let them down, not his husband and not their children, because he's been let down before and Spencer would never want to put his family through that. They're going to be happy, it's almost a mantra by now, but he has to keep believing it because even though they've been through awful trials, Spencer is ready to accept that his life is going to be a good one. He's ready to accept that they deserve better. He knows he's going to wake up in the morning and find Joel holding the baby in his arms, trying to feed them formula before they wake up and cry because he doesn't want Spencer to have to be woken up for that. Spencer thinks maybe he'll develop a sleeping problem to rival Joel's because he'll be obsessively checking on the baby's breathing every five minutes until his husband laughs and tells him to go to sleep.
"Keyword 'almost,'" Spencer says, shooting Joel mock warning look that shifts easily into a tired smile. "My longest relationship is still with that bed, by the way, so you've got a bit of competition." At the mention of Charlotte, he sobers because he suspects that she'll be terribly upset they hadn't told her about the demon a long time ago. It had been Joel's decision, and Spencer had respected it. He'd have done the same thing, he thinks, because he'd want to keep as many people as possible safe. They have the sort of friends who like to jump in and offer any help they can even if it's in the face of danger, but Spencer knows that neither of them have any space left in their conscious to bear the burden of the kind of guilt that'd come with putting the people they care about in danger. So they'd kept Charlotte in the dark and maybe by now, her mental connection to Joel is back to being fully operational, but he hasn't gotten any angry calls from her yet so he thinks they might be safe from her rage in here.
Then again, his phone had been in the back pocket of his jeans, which are now in a bag that he'll have to request be brought here. There's no way he's leaving this room, not until Joel's leaving it with him, not when he wouldn't want to be alone if he were in Joel's shoes. "Having her keep it open while we can't be there would be very helpful," he admits, and he knows he shouldn't be thinking about business when Joel's injured but it's not as if he has a separate source of income now. They're not going to be in trouble if the store stays closed for a few days, not by any means, but Spencer doesn't want to have to be focusing his attention on anything other than his husband while Joel recovers.
"When you're well enough to take more visitors, I'll call Erin," he says, trailing his fingers up and down Joel's good arm. "We can ask her a million questions to distract her from asking us what happened, that should work, right? Perhaps not but still, it'll be the first time we get to see her when she's pregnant." He's done his research, and Erin likely won't be showing for another few weeks or so but that doesn't matter. She's pregnant, the baby is going to be theirs, and Spencer wants Joel to be able to see her.