Joel gifts a soft snort of laughter at the idea of anyone singing his praises who isn't Spencer or related to him in some way. He has friends, certainly, but he doesn't think there is a single person in town who thinks as highly of him as Spencer does and he's perfectly fine with that. Spencer is truly the only one he needs to appreciate him in any way, he's the only one Joel has ever really concerned himself with. "I don't think you have to worry about me ever forgetting about you," he answers and he lifts his good hand when Spencer leans in for a kiss, cupping the side of his neck. Nora is certain to come back soon with the cot for Spencer, but Joel also doesn't want to let him go just yet. It's just one more reminder that they're here, that they made it through, and he knows the reason he's alive to kiss Spencer, to feel the warmth of his skin under his hand and hear his voice is because Spencer knows him and loves him so well. He's the only person who could have brought Joel back and he did.
His smile grows further when Spencer mentions calling him Professor again and Joel knows he's in absolutely no shape to be having the kinds of thoughts that have suddenly entered his mind, but there's still an edge of almost hysterical jubilation at finally being free of this thing that's been holding into him for so long. He'd never really been aware of it, had never really understood that it was there, but now, tonight, knowing it's gone, he can feel the difference. There's a sense of being alone, which he knows he'll have to get used to, but there's a freedom, too. For the first time he isn't sharing anything with anyone he's not choosing. And he'll share everything with Spencer, it's part of what he signed on for when they got married, but he gets to choose to do that. Spencer is the person he's chosen to share these things with and it's all him. It's just the two of them and the thought makes something in his chest swell.
"I love you," he murmurs, still holding Spencer close. "So much more than I will ever know how to say." One day he wants to be able to find the right words, either his own or perhaps some writer unknown to him that's somehow managed to capture what this feeling really is. It feels like it should be impossible, but Joel doesn't think he'll ever stop looking. And maybe one day when they're old, when they're sitting together, when they're watching their grandchildren, he'll have found the right words, but even if he never does, he knows that won't stop him from feeling this.
"You saved me," he whispers, pressing another kiss to Spencer's mouth. "You saved me."
And he hopes Spencer really understands that. Joel knows he sometimes feels as if he's not capable of protecting himself, but Joel doesn't see that part of Spencer. All he sees is the man who literally carried him on his back to bring him to safety. And now the man, the only one in the world, who could pull him back from a demon that had had its claws in him for more than a decade. The only person in the entire world Joel has let in like this, the only person that demon had been afraid of because Joel loves him so completely. Before Spencer he knows he wouldn't have even thought something like that would be possible. The power of love wouldn't be enough to save someone from a possession, it wouldn't be enough to make anyone fight back like he had, but he'd been wrong. Spencer had proved him wrong.
He'll never forget that. He'll spend the rest of his life thanking Spencer for everything he's done in any way he can think to. Even if he doesn't say he words, he'll put it into every gesture, every touch. Spencer hasn't just changed his life, he's saved it in every possible sense of the word.
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His smile grows further when Spencer mentions calling him Professor again and Joel knows he's in absolutely no shape to be having the kinds of thoughts that have suddenly entered his mind, but there's still an edge of almost hysterical jubilation at finally being free of this thing that's been holding into him for so long. He'd never really been aware of it, had never really understood that it was there, but now, tonight, knowing it's gone, he can feel the difference. There's a sense of being alone, which he knows he'll have to get used to, but there's a freedom, too. For the first time he isn't sharing anything with anyone he's not choosing. And he'll share everything with Spencer, it's part of what he signed on for when they got married, but he gets to choose to do that. Spencer is the person he's chosen to share these things with and it's all him. It's just the two of them and the thought makes something in his chest swell.
"I love you," he murmurs, still holding Spencer close. "So much more than I will ever know how to say." One day he wants to be able to find the right words, either his own or perhaps some writer unknown to him that's somehow managed to capture what this feeling really is. It feels like it should be impossible, but Joel doesn't think he'll ever stop looking. And maybe one day when they're old, when they're sitting together, when they're watching their grandchildren, he'll have found the right words, but even if he never does, he knows that won't stop him from feeling this.
"You saved me," he whispers, pressing another kiss to Spencer's mouth. "You saved me."
And he hopes Spencer really understands that. Joel knows he sometimes feels as if he's not capable of protecting himself, but Joel doesn't see that part of Spencer. All he sees is the man who literally carried him on his back to bring him to safety. And now the man, the only one in the world, who could pull him back from a demon that had had its claws in him for more than a decade. The only person in the entire world Joel has let in like this, the only person that demon had been afraid of because Joel loves him so completely. Before Spencer he knows he wouldn't have even thought something like that would be possible. The power of love wouldn't be enough to save someone from a possession, it wouldn't be enough to make anyone fight back like he had, but he'd been wrong. Spencer had proved him wrong.
He'll never forget that. He'll spend the rest of his life thanking Spencer for everything he's done in any way he can think to. Even if he doesn't say he words, he'll put it into every gesture, every touch. Spencer hasn't just changed his life, he's saved it in every possible sense of the word.