Joel sincerely hopes Spencer realizes that he's been given just as much in return. That he's the only reason Joel has found himself in the position to have this sort of life, that there is no one else who would have ever made him feel this comfortable, this capable, this strong, like maybe he actually has something to offer another person. And he's absolutely certain that Spencer is the only person he could be here with. He's had the chance over the years since that last, utterly atrocious date, to see other people, but it had all felt so wrong to him until Spencer. It had all felt like an impossibility, the sort of thing he was just never meant to have, but Spencer had changed all that. He had given Joel a chance to not only meet someone, but to truly be himself without worry of judgment or ridicule. For the first time in his adult life, Spencer had made him feel safe.
His arms slide around Spencer in return, though he can't quite pull his husband up against him as he likes to. Healing is taking far too long, as far as Joel is concerned, and he makes a soft noise against Spencer's mouth, then sighs. "You know you've given me the same, right?" he asks, his voice gentle, though he suddenly doesn't want to pay quite so much attention to the tree as before. Suddenly he wants to give all his attention to Spencer and he's already silently cursing his hand and his ribs. Whatever happens, however he insists he feels, Spencer is going to worry and Joel knows that means he isn't going to be able to just drag his husband upstairs to bed like he wants.
"You gave me a place where I felt safe," he murmurs, leaning a little closer, his nose brushing along Spencer's cheekbone as he smiles. His eyes are closed, but he's long since learned his husband's face, has long since learned the lines of his body. It's been less than a year, but he knows Spencer better than he knows anyone and anything, including himself. "I spent so long on my own because people felt dangerous to me. They didn't... no one has ever made me feel the way you do." It isn't just about that feeling of safety, it's so much more than that, but Joel honestly don't know if he has the words to explain it. He's struggled with them before when it comes to Spencer and he thinks the closest he ever got was his wedding vows, but even those hadn't explained quite what he feels whenever he's with Spencer. How much his life has changed, how everything feels different. How happy he is now.
"You changed my life," he settles on saying, both his hands on Spencer's hip, though he knows one is heavier than the other, that the cast can't possibly feel nice sitting there. He needs to be touching Spencer, though, he needs to be close to him, even if it means his cast gets in the way a little bit. Sometimes he's surprised by how overwhelming those feelings get, the need to be touching Spencer in some way, the thought that if he doesn't, he's missing out on something extremely important. But he is. If he wants to be close to Spencer and it's not possible for some reason, he is missing something that's become more important to him than almost anything else.
"Do we need to finish the tree tonight?" he asks, murmuring the words against Spencer's ear before he presses a light kiss against his jaw. "There's no due date on having the tree set up, is there?" They're almost done, anyway. There's just a few more ornaments left in the box, but Joel is impatient and he's tired of being injured. Even if it hurts a little, he wants to take Spencer upstairs and go to bed with him.
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His arms slide around Spencer in return, though he can't quite pull his husband up against him as he likes to. Healing is taking far too long, as far as Joel is concerned, and he makes a soft noise against Spencer's mouth, then sighs. "You know you've given me the same, right?" he asks, his voice gentle, though he suddenly doesn't want to pay quite so much attention to the tree as before. Suddenly he wants to give all his attention to Spencer and he's already silently cursing his hand and his ribs. Whatever happens, however he insists he feels, Spencer is going to worry and Joel knows that means he isn't going to be able to just drag his husband upstairs to bed like he wants.
"You gave me a place where I felt safe," he murmurs, leaning a little closer, his nose brushing along Spencer's cheekbone as he smiles. His eyes are closed, but he's long since learned his husband's face, has long since learned the lines of his body. It's been less than a year, but he knows Spencer better than he knows anyone and anything, including himself. "I spent so long on my own because people felt dangerous to me. They didn't... no one has ever made me feel the way you do." It isn't just about that feeling of safety, it's so much more than that, but Joel honestly don't know if he has the words to explain it. He's struggled with them before when it comes to Spencer and he thinks the closest he ever got was his wedding vows, but even those hadn't explained quite what he feels whenever he's with Spencer. How much his life has changed, how everything feels different. How happy he is now.
"You changed my life," he settles on saying, both his hands on Spencer's hip, though he knows one is heavier than the other, that the cast can't possibly feel nice sitting there. He needs to be touching Spencer, though, he needs to be close to him, even if it means his cast gets in the way a little bit. Sometimes he's surprised by how overwhelming those feelings get, the need to be touching Spencer in some way, the thought that if he doesn't, he's missing out on something extremely important. But he is. If he wants to be close to Spencer and it's not possible for some reason, he is missing something that's become more important to him than almost anything else.
"Do we need to finish the tree tonight?" he asks, murmuring the words against Spencer's ear before he presses a light kiss against his jaw. "There's no due date on having the tree set up, is there?" They're almost done, anyway. There's just a few more ornaments left in the box, but Joel is impatient and he's tired of being injured. Even if it hurts a little, he wants to take Spencer upstairs and go to bed with him.