When Spencer tilts his head back, when Joel sees that long line of his throat, he can't help but lean in, dragging his tongue up the length of it, up the tendon that sticks out, following it up toward Spencer's ear before he bites down gently and muffles a groan against his skin. Times like this, with Spencer under him, when he can see him in this manner, it reminds Joel of the first time they were together. In that bed in his apartment, the way they'd barely been able to make it all the way upstairs before getting their clothes off, how stunned he had been to see Spencer naked for the first time. He still feels that way. There are times when he's still awake, the glow of his computer the only source of light in the room, and Spencer will turn over in his sleep, he'll bury his arms under the pillow and press his cheek against it and Joel will find himself losing more time than he realizes to just looking at his husband. The wide, smooth expanse of his back, the way the muscles shift under his skin, the curve of his shoulders. All Spencer is doing in those moments is breathing and dreaming, but Joel finds himself completely fascinated all the same and it's been nearly a year now, and he doesn't see that changing any time soon. From the very first day they'd met, despite the fact that Joel had been irritated by Spencer putting himself in danger, he'd been entranced. Unable to look away, unable to meet his gaze, unable to function all that well whenever Spencer was in the vicinity, though he supposes an argument could be made that he wasn't all that good at functioning anyway.
But no matter what they do, no matter how much Joel loves every single way in which they've made love, being able to see Spencer is always his favourite thing. He'd thought about it, about finding a full length mirror for their bedroom, something that seems innocuous enough, but can be moved when necessary, so he can see Spencer when he's behind him. So he can watch the way Spencer's expressions change when Joel grabs him by the hips and drags him back onto his cock. It's his favourite thing, just seeing the way he makes Spencer feel, and maybe it's a little silly, but he takes a strange sense of pride in making his husband feel good. If that's all he does for the rest of his life, if making Spencer feel good in every possible way becomes the only goal he has, he thinks he would die a very happy man.
And when he thinks about their first time, he remembers how much more difficult it had been for him to say the things he'd wanted to say. It hadn't been out of embarrassment, because right from the beginning, nothing about being with Spencer had been embarrassing. Neither of them had an extensive list of experience and that was okay, they'd learned from each other instead, they'd mapped their bodies and experimented and found the right ways in which to move. But for as much trouble as Joel has now telling Spencer how much he wants him, how beautiful he is, that first time had been so much more difficult and he smiles a little at that. It's just one more thing Spencer has been teaching him. How to say what he feels, how to be honest, how to make the words come when it feels like they might not. He's never been particularly good at expressing himself when it comes to the more personal, emotional topics, but he's so much better at it now than he's ever been before and Spencer's the only person who can claim any credit over that. He's the only person in the world Joel would ever try so hard for.
"You're so beautiful," he murmurs as his hips drive forward again. Spencer's body has relaxed around him and he can move easier now, rolling his hips, thrusting deeper into him, feeling the way his body clenches tight and hot around Joel's cock. They know each other so well and Joel wonders at the people who find such things boring. Getting to learn Spencer's body has been the most wonderful gift he's ever been given and now, nearly a year later, getting to use that expertise almost every day is something he knows he'll never be able to give up. Even if all that manage is a quick kiss before they open the store, Joel does his best to make it count, to make it something he knows will leave Spencer just a little bit dazed and that's come to him with time, with learning what Spencer likes best, and with remembering every last little detail, every touch that has ever made Spencer moan.
"You're just so beautiful," he says again, shifting on the unsteady floor, his elbow resting beside Spencer's body, the fingers of his other hand closed tight around his hip. It's only a moment, though, before he slips his hand between their bodies and seeks out the warmth of Spencer's cock. He's hard and heavy in Joel's hand and as he thrusts deeper into his husband, his fingers wrap tighter around his cock, stroking him in time.
no subject
But no matter what they do, no matter how much Joel loves every single way in which they've made love, being able to see Spencer is always his favourite thing. He'd thought about it, about finding a full length mirror for their bedroom, something that seems innocuous enough, but can be moved when necessary, so he can see Spencer when he's behind him. So he can watch the way Spencer's expressions change when Joel grabs him by the hips and drags him back onto his cock. It's his favourite thing, just seeing the way he makes Spencer feel, and maybe it's a little silly, but he takes a strange sense of pride in making his husband feel good. If that's all he does for the rest of his life, if making Spencer feel good in every possible way becomes the only goal he has, he thinks he would die a very happy man.
And when he thinks about their first time, he remembers how much more difficult it had been for him to say the things he'd wanted to say. It hadn't been out of embarrassment, because right from the beginning, nothing about being with Spencer had been embarrassing. Neither of them had an extensive list of experience and that was okay, they'd learned from each other instead, they'd mapped their bodies and experimented and found the right ways in which to move. But for as much trouble as Joel has now telling Spencer how much he wants him, how beautiful he is, that first time had been so much more difficult and he smiles a little at that. It's just one more thing Spencer has been teaching him. How to say what he feels, how to be honest, how to make the words come when it feels like they might not. He's never been particularly good at expressing himself when it comes to the more personal, emotional topics, but he's so much better at it now than he's ever been before and Spencer's the only person who can claim any credit over that. He's the only person in the world Joel would ever try so hard for.
"You're so beautiful," he murmurs as his hips drive forward again. Spencer's body has relaxed around him and he can move easier now, rolling his hips, thrusting deeper into him, feeling the way his body clenches tight and hot around Joel's cock. They know each other so well and Joel wonders at the people who find such things boring. Getting to learn Spencer's body has been the most wonderful gift he's ever been given and now, nearly a year later, getting to use that expertise almost every day is something he knows he'll never be able to give up. Even if all that manage is a quick kiss before they open the store, Joel does his best to make it count, to make it something he knows will leave Spencer just a little bit dazed and that's come to him with time, with learning what Spencer likes best, and with remembering every last little detail, every touch that has ever made Spencer moan.
"You're just so beautiful," he says again, shifting on the unsteady floor, his elbow resting beside Spencer's body, the fingers of his other hand closed tight around his hip. It's only a moment, though, before he slips his hand between their bodies and seeks out the warmth of Spencer's cock. He's hard and heavy in Joel's hand and as he thrusts deeper into his husband, his fingers wrap tighter around his cock, stroking him in time.