The question feels like a blow. Like a fist hitting Joel in the sternum, hard enough to knock the breath from him and he breathes out, hard and pained, knowing he doesn't even have to consider his answer. And that's why Caden has asked, he knows that. He's always been able to read Joel so well, to see the parts of him that sometimes Joel himself feels like he can't see, and he's only asking because he already knows the answer. He's asking because he knows Joel knows, too. And he's asking because it needs to be said.

Joel needs to say it out loud. He needs to admit it to someone. He needs to hear the words.

"Yes," he says simply. "I have since I saw him on the beach."

He doesn't know how such a thing is possible. Joel loves stories and tales of all kinds. He's read countless books, he's told stories with Caden when they were younger, trading the thread of the tale back and forth until they'd managed to weave something both beautiful and absurd. Love at first sight is always possible in stories, but he's never truly believed it. A person can't love another without knowing them, but here he is, and he does love Spencer. He knows him. And he has no idea how.