At the question Joel flushes so deeply it feels as if his face is on fire and he rubs his palm against his cheek as if he can just brush it away. Although he doubts Caden has missed that Joel hasn't really had all that many romantic encounters, he's also gone out of his way to avoid talking about the few he has had. It's just been easier that way and there really hasn't been anyone worth talking about since Amy anyway. They had broken off their engagement so long ago that Joel thinks it's likely embarrassing he still thinks of her at all.

"No," he says, although he suspects Caden already knows that to be the case. "I keep thinking maybe I should. There are these... these moments and I want to and it seems right, but I keep second guessing myself and then the moment passes without having done anything at all."

He pauses and swallows hard, his cheeks still red under his beard, and he looks off into the garden, back in the direction of the palace. "I was thinking perhaps at the ball. It would be rather romantic, wouldn't it? Maybe it's a little silly to be thinking of romance when I'm going to be thirty in less than a week, but I don't know that he's ever had something like that. I think maybe he deserves that."