just_another: (001)
Joel Waters-Baker ([personal profile] just_another) wrote2015-05-15 05:16 pm
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[Closed - Coop - May 17]

Joel's completely lost.

Since he woke up this morning, he's been wandering from room to room, unable to spend longer than a few minutes in any one in particular before he has to move on. They're all full of Spencer in every way. This is Spencer's house, even the attic is filled with him, and so Joel keeps moving. Bedroom to nursery to library to kitchen, all of them overflowing with Spencer and he thinks he might die if he has to stay here any longer.

He isn't alone in the house, which pisses him off more than anything, and he's been avoiding his mother since she arrived early in the morning. The police have been in and out multiple times and although they haven't taken him down to the station yet, he's fairly certain a good number of them don't believe he isn't involved in this. It makes him want to scream, the very thought that he could somehow be part of any plot that would lead to Spencer being hurt -- or worse -- but he supposes he doesn't exactly have a great track record with significant others.

It's still his fault Amy died, after all. And her brother had made that very clear after his stunt in Siren Cove last year. No one has forgotten that, apparently.

The police have cleared out for the time being and Joel can feel his mother hovering, just waiting for him to need her and when he turns he can feel his anger beginning to bubble over. It isn't her fault, but he looks at her face and he knows what she thinks. That it's been too long without a sign. That Spencer isn't going to be found.

He can tell she's given up and a part of him hates her with such ferocity that it nearly makes him sick.

"Don't," he says, his voice low and hard. "Don't say anything. Just... stay here with the dog. I have to get out."

"Joel," Ellie says and he tightens his fists so hard that his nails cut into his palms and the muscles in his fingers stretch painfully. It's the pain that grounds him, that gives him a second to breathe, and then he's shaking his head at her as he heads for the door. He slams it hard enough behind him that it rattles, but it isn't satisfying. Nothing is.

He wants to burn this town to the ground.

Instead he walks. He shoves his aching hands in his pockets and he walks without a slightest idea where he's going. It isn't until he's actually on Coop's doorstep that he realizes this was his destination all along. Joel's premonitions have been utterly useless at the time when he needs them most, but maybe Coop can do something. Maybe there's a way for him to help.

Or maybe he'll just be able to get Joel so drunk he never wakes up again.

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