Joel Waters-Baker

With Dane officially nine weeks old now, they've begun to bring him to work.

Charlotte is intensely relieved they're back to working full time, Joel can tell, because the moment they open the store this morning, she all but flies out the door and shouts that she won't be back until after they close, stopping only long enough to drop a quick kiss to Dane's forehead where he's sleeping in Joel's arms. Then she's gone, flapping a wave in Spencer's direction before she disappears, the door swinging shut behind her. It's a beautiful morning, though there's the faint hint of fall in the air, and Joel leaves the door closed for now instead of propping it open. As the day grows warmer he'll probably change his mind, but for now his most pressing concern is always making sure Dane is comfortable.

Looking down at their baby, he passes his hand gently over his dark, curly hair with a small smile. The pressure is enough to wake Dane, but he only looks around the store and waves his clenched fists a few times instead of bursting into tears. The colic has abated somewhat in the past few weeks, which has Joel quite relieved. Ever since he'd been born Joel has been looking forward to bringing him into the store while they work, one of the many benefits of being self-employed, but for a time he had worried it wouldn't be possible with Dane crying like he was.

It's better now. There are still little outbursts, but that's to be expected of any baby and he suspects any customer of theirs won't be too bothered by it, especially not when there's the apartment upstairs for them to retreat to if they need it. Charlotte had promised to leave the door unlocked and Joel always has an extra key somewhere if he needs it.

For now, though he heads toward Spencer and holds Dane out toward him. "Want me to wrap you up?" he asks. It's better for Spencer to have the baby today, as Joel has been feeling a little strange and lightheaded. It's the sort of feeling he's gotten before premonitions, but he hasn't actually seen anything yet. Chances are good that something is coming, though, and if nothing else, at least he can take heart in the fact that he's learned to identify the premonitions hours before they arrive rather than being completely caught off guard by their sudden and painful appearance.

Either way, he doesn't want to be the one holding Dane if it should surprise him anyway. The last time he'd had a premonition, he'd ended up on his knees from the pain and his primary concern now will always be their baby.

It's been over a year since their ruined attempt at a first date and Joel has been making plans for months now to celebrate. For a few weeks he had considered celebrating it on the same day, but he doesn't want to draw attention to the fact that it's been a year since Mark Fuller had kidnapped Spencer and dragged him up to the lighthouse to get revenge on Joel. He's in prison now, he'll be in prison for years to come, and his influence on their life together isn't something Joel wants to remember.

So instead of celebrating on the day, he makes plans for a week later. It's a Friday and he sends Spencer to work at the store with a kiss and a promise to call him later. He's made up an emergency repair in the bathroom and even made it look realistic by dumping a cup of water on the floor. (Something is leaking, he had insisted. I need to fix this because once the baby is here I won't have time to tear up the floor if I need to.)

Nothing is leaking. The bathroom is fine.

A year ago they had planned to meet on the boardwalk and watch a movie together and Mark had ruined that. So now Joel is bringing the boardwalk and the movie to their backyard. He's been very careful about his rentals, making sure to use the money he has in his own account so Spencer doesn't find out about any of it. There's a popcorn machine, a large, comfortable loveseat for the two of them to watch the movie, a projector and a giant screen all set up in the back yard. There's a cooler beside the loveseat with ice and beer -- because you can't get whiskey on the boardwalk -- and when Joel calls Spencer at the end of the day to make sure he's home on time, he's pretty satisfied with what he's put together.

"I took care of the leak," he promises. "But there's a bit of a clean up to do. You were planning on coming straight home, right? I could really use the help." And when Spencer promises he's on his way, Joel smiles before he ends the call.

A little over a year ago, someone ruined what was to be their first date. No one is going to interrupt this night. Joel isn't going to let them.

It's hard leaving Spencer.

Joel knows they need to get back into a routine, he knows they can't always be beside each other, but he also knows Spencer doesn't want to be alone yet. More than that, he also doesn't want to leave Spencer alone, not after being without him for days, but they can't spend every single minute of every single day together. Slowly they need to adjust, they need to go back to their lives, and Spencer managed just fine without him the day before, so Joel knows he can do this, too. It makes his stomach clench uncomfortably, but he kisses Spencer goodbye, tells him he won't be long, then sets out for Davin's place.

This is important, too. Spencer isn't the only one dealing with the aftermath of what happened and Joel hopes this is going to go a long way toward helping Davin feel safe again. Putting the wards on Spencer's house after Mark had taken him had helped a lot, he knows that, and while it had still taken time for him to feel comfortable going back into the library, they'd gotten there, too.

Everything takes time. The good and the bad. But if Joel can do something to help speed along parts of it, then he's going to do those things without question. Which is why he has a small bag filled with the things he needs; a soft grey crystal Davin can easily fit on a window sill somewhere, four candles to be burned at the four points of the compass, a small bag filled with ingredients he's already mixed.

And a witch bottle. He knows it isn't the same as a ward, he knows it won't be nearly as effective, but Joel's always had a witch bottle in his home and in his business and there's something strangely comforting about it, so he's made one for Davin, too.

Carefully he adjusts the bag once he arrives at Davin's, then knocks softly, shifting back and forth on his feet as he waits.

The entire party would be unbearable, Joel thinks, if not for the knowledge that as soon as he's able to slip away, he's going to be meeting Spencer in the library. If isn't that the party itself is terrible, just that Joel has never been particularly good at them and nothing has changed, not in his entire life.

He's thirty years old as of today and his mother has made certain that nearly the entire kingdom knows it. The party is a bright, cheerful affair with plenty of eat and even more to drink, decorations draping the palace and making the entire place sparkle. It's beautiful and everyone is happy and Joel, with less than a week to go until the ball, is as happy as any of them because he's been making plans. There's a part of him that still feels incredibly guilty given what Caden has offered to do, taking a bride in his place so that he and his wife will take over the throne when it becomes necessary, but Joel is beginning to think it might not be the only solution.

That Spencer, if he's willing, may just be able to be the one ruling by Joel's side when the day comes.

He hasn't spoken plainly to his parents about it and they've still invited about a dozen princesses to his party tonight, but in their defence, the invitations had been sent out a month ago, long before Joel even knew Spencer existed. When he's with his mother, though, when he speaks about Spencer, she smiles knowingly and pats his hand sweetly and asks what sorts of flowers he thinks he might like when he gets married. She doesn't ask if he's settled on one of the princesses, she doesn't press for details, she just looks at him and it's like she knows. This is the best case scenario, that Joel can be with Spencer and still fulfill his duties to his parents, and he doesn't want to get his hopes up too high, just in case there's nothing to be done and he must pass his responsibilities along to Caden, but he feels good.

He feels truly happy.

When it seems like he might finally have an opportunity to slip away, his mother catches him by the wrist. "Don't go too far," she says to him before she presses a kiss to his cheek. "There are to be fireworks still and I have a feeling Spencer won't want to miss them."

She's been doing that, too. Going out of her way to find things she thinks Spencer might like. For tonight she'd gone to one of their personal tailors and had them create a jacket and tie for Spencer that are both comfortable and are just the right shade of dark blue to bring out his eyes. He looks wonderful and Joel finds himself distracted by the thought of him as he smiles at his mother and nods.

And then he's wandering carefully down the hall, smiling at guests, greeting them when they greet him, but all the while headed straight for the library. Straight for the man he's been waiting all night to see. This is the only birthday present he wants and he pushes open one of the heavy doors of the library, then slips inside and shuts it carefully behind him.

"Spencer?" he calls, his voice low. The room is large and empty, just barely lit by a few oil lamps here and there. It's Joel's favourite place in the entire palace and he can't imagine a better place to spend his birthday with the man who's quickly become his favourite person.

They've been in the store for approximately seven minutes and Joel is already wondering if this was such a good idea. It's necessary, he knows that. There are things they need to buy and with the baby a mere five months away, he knows putting it off any longer isn't the smartest decision. Soon enough the due date is going to be next week instead of five months from now, and he knows if they put things off it'll all just rush toward them like an oncoming train and there won't be a thing they can do to stop it. So they need to be here, they need to be shopping and thinking about what to do with the nursery and finalizing plans.

But Joel isn't sure they're going to make it out of the store with their bank accounts in tact.

Spencer has never given any indication that he's an especially excessive man. Joel would have adjusted to it if he had been, although it would have been strange. For someone who has spent most of his life counting pennies and taking care to always budget, it's been a bit of an adjustment to not have to do so anymore. Even though it isn't necessary, he still makes budgets and tries to follow them as best he can. Crossroads is on a strict budget and Joel makes sure they never spend more than he's allotted, because now that they're going to have a child -- children, possibly, one day -- they have to put money away for their future and he's been very diligent about this.

But it's different from the way he'd grown up. He's figured it out and made it work and he's adjusted his mentality when it comes to money, but it's taken some effort. It's been made easier by the fact that Spencer isn't the type to overspend, not by a long shot. He's had more money than Joel, but at a real price, one Joel wouldn't wish on anyone, no matter what the sum of money they got in return. And yet, despite having that money at his fingertips, he's still generally frugal enough that Joel hasn't had much of an adjustment to make.

Except when it comes to toys for their as yet unborn child. The bear Spencer had ordered had been absurd enough, but as Joel pushes a cart through the store, he looks down to see what Spencer has added and it's interesting to note there's a swaddling blanket -- just one -- buried under a pile of stuffed toys.

This is his life now, he thinks with a smile. He might as well get used to it.

When she had moved into his apartment upstairs, Joel had returned the keys to his sister -- both his and Spencer's -- knowing she would appreciate the privacy. He's so used to just being able to walk in, though, that when he arrives at the store to pick her up that day, he simply walks up the stairs, turns the knob and pushes against the apartment door with his shoulder, only to remember at the last second that it's locked. That he doesn't live here anymore. Beyond that door is an apartment he'd still recognize, but it isn't his. His most important things are gone, all his books and his music, his stereo system and any personal items. They've been replaced by things that belong to Charlotte and the place doesn't feel like his anymore. Which it shouldn't. It's not.

"Sorry," he calls, rapping his knuckles against the door. It's just been home for such a long time that even now, even though he loves living at the house with Spencer, even though he doesn't think he'd ever be able to come back to the apartment, it's just so familiar to him. This is where he spent nearly every single night from the time he was twenty-one, this is still home in a lot of ways.

"Charlie, come on," he says, leaning against the wall to wait for her. "I can't leave Spencer alone with mom and dad forever, they'll drive him crazy."

But he's looking forward to this all the same. Since she's moved back, he hasn't had a lot of time to spend with her just by himself. He'd been busy and then he'd been trying to keep his distance from her so that the demon wouldn't hurt her, but that's done. It's gone, it's been banished, and now all he wants is to spend some time with his sister.

The demon finally tries to take control only to find itself facing Joel's husband and three witches.

Spencer and Joel in the hospital later.

Tomorrow, when he has time to sit and think about what's happened while he lies in a hospital bed, Joel will tell Spencer that it felt like a switch going off in his mind. One moment he was there, he was in control, and then something flipped a switch inside him and suddenly he wasn't. One moment he was muttering curses under his breath because he'd sloshed hot coffee on his hand while trying to close his travel mug and the next he hadn't felt the pain because he hadn't felt anything.

The mug drops, the plastic exterior cracking where it hits the kitchen floor. Coffee spills over the tiles, over Joel's shoes, it splashes the cupboards and one of the kitchen chairs, but Joel doesn't notice because he's not in control anymore. He's still there, he's still inside, and he's screaming, feeling as though he's pounding his fists against a door that doesn't really exist because he's trapped inside himself. The walls are closing in on him, the walls of himself, the walls of the demon, just walls, and he can't explain it, but he's being pressed down smaller and smaller until he can't breathe.

The demon has taken over.

Joel can't feel his body, but he can feel it. It pushes at his mind, probing curiously and he screams again, but it doesn't make a sound. It only echoes inside him somehow and Joel spends several minutes in such a state of terror that he thinks he blacks out. If such a thing is at all possible when he's not really in control of his body, he doesn't know, but there's a gap in time Joel doesn't remember.

When he comes to, he can feel pain again. He's not in control, not by any means, but there's a shrieking pain in the fingers of his left hand and when he's allowed to look down, he sees three of them are swollen and an angry red.

You're so delicate. No wonder I killed her so swiftly.

The voice is worse than the pain in his fingers could ever be. It's ancient and it's eternal and it's endless. It's like being pierced by something burning hot, something dull and ragged that slips in between his ribs and wiggles back and forth, tearing skin and burning his insides and Joel goes away again.

This time when he regains consciousness, there's silence. His fingers throb and ache and when he looks down at them, it looks as if they've been slammed in a door.

They have been.

The voice is different this time. It's still like something hot and sharp being driven into him, but the demon is restraining itself somehow. The voice has been pulled back and Joel finds he can withstand it a little better. It's still awful and he's still terrified, trapped in a body he can't control, unable to call for help, unable to let anyone know what's happened.

And what would they do? the thing asks. Your witches are not equipped to handle me.

Joel can't answer, he only retreats and feels sick, knowing sooner or later Spencer is going to wonder why he isn't at work. Sooner or later, Spencer is going to come looking for him and this is what he's going to find. A monster in the place of his husband. A monster intent on experimenting with his body to see what he can withstand.

There's a lighter in his right hand, the flame sparks to life. Joel watches silently as it's brought closer and closer to his skin and he feels the pain sear through him, but he can't stop.

He isn't in control anymore.

She had told him to seek her at her manor, which he takes to mean he'll be able to approach this time, but he's nervous all the same. It isn't just going to her manor on his own, it isn't that she'd sent him a bird that spoke in her voice, it's everything that's happening. He's nervous and he's scared and all he wants is for it to be dealt with, but he's also a little afraid of what that might mean.

If what he's read is true, banishing whatever thing is inside him means changing his powers. If he's really lived with this thing slowly trying to take over for the past twelve years, it means undoing a significant portion of his life as a witch and the thought terrifies him. He doesn't know which of his powers its trying to suppress, he doesn't know what might be lurking under it. There's a part of him that worries they might be harder to control, that he might not be as good at healing as he likes to think.

But he can't live this way. With something else inside his head giving him these awful dreams, giving him powers he shouldn't have access to, feeding him anger that's not truly his. He can't live this way with a husband and with a child on the way.

So he goes to Nerium's manor with the book he's been reading and one of his hands shoved nervously into his pocket.

He knows enough to have brought her something and maybe a loaf of pumpkin bread isn't the typical offering one things, but it's what Joel has brought. It's homemade, he baked it himself, but he feels sort of stupid all the same. It's too late to take it back now, though, and he approaches the door, the book in his bag, the pumpkin loaf in his hand.

The weather is turning cooler, which Joel loves, and he takes his time walking Huxley this evening, letting the wind blow through his hair -- it's getting longer, his mother has pointed out since arriving and he'll need to cut it soon -- as he walks first down toward the beach and then back home again. His parents are going to be out for the evening and he's looking forward to getting home and having some time alone with just Spencer. Having his parents visiting has actually been kind of nice, despite the initial fear he'd had that they'd be hurt. They had come bearing gifts -- a beautiful silver picture frame and a first edition novel for Spencer -- and have both been nothing but happy for the two of them, but he's still looking forward to the quiet evening alone.

They're visiting friends and the sun has mostly dipped behind the trees when Joel finally gets home, glad to see their rented car is still gone. His hands are cold and he flexes them, trying to get some feeling back into his fingertips as he opens the front door and then drops into a crouch to unclip Huxley's leash from his collar, letting the puppy roam into the house. As always, he goes straight to the kitchen, then returns a moment later, as Joel unties his shoes.

"No one there?" he asks, smiling down at the puppy, who trots around the first level of the house, his tail wagging as he searches for Raleigh or Spencer or Joel's father, his new favourite person, mostly because Brian seems to drop an awful lot of food whenever Huxley is around. As Joel hangs up his jacket, he hears the puppy let out an excited yip in the living room and he turns in that direction, sure he'll find Spencer working on something.

They've both been working a lot lately, between the bakery and Crossroads and the work they've put into their future family. They seem to have come to the decision that finding a surrogate will be the best fit for them and they've spent a few nights looking. Joel has signed up for one agency in particular that he liked the look of and they've been sending him e-mails whenever new surrogates that fit what they're looking for come available. So he walks into the living room, expecting to find Spencer hard at work and he stops, smiling when he finds him reading instead, a warm fire burning in the fireplace. It's a nice sight and he walks around the back of the couch, brushing his hand over the back of Spencer's neck, knowing full well his hands are still cold.

There's a good chance he does it on purpose.