just_another | [Closed - Spencer

Entry tags:

[Closed - Spencer - May 30]

In a strange turn of events, Joel loves New York.

The man who's been unable to leave Siren Cove for over a decade, the man who nearly drove his car off the road in a panic the first time he tried, the man who had an anxiety attack at the rail of a ship when he finally managed to leave, absolutely loves everything about New York City.

He and Spencer had arrived the night before and while the apartment Aoife has graciously allowed them use of for the weekend is absolutely beautiful, Joel had found himself at the window staring out at the city with wide eyes for close to fifteen minutes before Spencer had announced they were unpacked and they should go out to find some dinner. They'd gotten distracted be Central Park and Joel had once again found himself completely enchanted, standing at the edge of a lake and staring across at a building he couldn't identify but somehow looked familiar all the same. It had taken Spencer's gentle reminder that he was hungry to actually pull Joel away. By the time they found dinner near Times Square -- one more thing that had stunned Joel to silence -- and then made their way back to the apartment on the subway, he was surprised by just how sore he was from all the walking they'd done.

And today is going to be no different. Today they have the literary tour of bars in New York and today he and Spencer are going to do a shot of whiskey at every single one. Today, by the time they're done, they're going to be very drunk and Joel can't wait. It feels like a real vacation, sort of how the cruise had felt at first, but he's absolutely certain this time they're not going to end up on a magical island with monsters and things that steal magic.

Of course, he thinks he might willingly give up his magic for another week in New York. He's never been so immediately comfortable somewhere that wasn't home and he isn't even sure what it is. People are kind in a way he hadn't expected given the angry New Yorker stereotype, but they've been offered directions more than once and a very kind woman had helped them find their way on the subway the night before. He loves it here and he's sure Spencer can tell.

More than that, he loves that Spencer seems to be enjoying himself, too. The bruises haven't entirely faded, but Joel's potions have helped speed the process and no one has even looked at him twice here. They blend into the crowd with ease, walking down the sidewalks holding hands and although Joel is sure there are moments when they look exactly like the tourists they are, for the most part he doesn't think they stick out all that much at all.

"The tour starts in about an hour," he says, glancing down at his phone as he tries to decide which cardigan to wear. "Do you want to stop for lunch first or get something while we're drinking our way through New York?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Being here is more enjoyable than Spencer could ever have imagined. He's never been a fan of bright lights and busy streets; he's never craved being in big city with big crowds because he's always figured that his tendency to prefer being alone--now, alone with Joel--wouldn't serve him particularly well in a place like Manhattan. He's pleasantly surprised, though, to discover how wrong he'd been about that.

They've already done so much in the time they've been here, and the residents they've come across have been so kind. He hadn't quite known what to expect aside from what he's read in books and the stereotypes he's heard, but it's nice to experience firsthand that those very stereotypes are apparently vastly exaggerated, which stereotypes so often tend to be anyway. Spencer can see this being somewhere they visit often, something he's already voiced to Joel--and which had been met with enthusiastic agreement--and honestly, there's something about seeing his husband so bright outside of his comfort zone that makes Spencer loves it here even more.

He can already picture it, taking Dane to the Alice statue in the park and clutching at Joel's shirt while they watch their son climb all over it with the rest of the excitable children. Joel would be snapping pictures while reassuring him that Dane will be just fine, he won't fall and even if he does, he'll suffer nothing beyond a slightly scraped knee. He can imagine taking Rose to toddle about the perimeter of the large pond that tourists like themselves like to race toy speedboats on, and she'd giggle when she'd get a turn to do it herself as Spencer sets one of the sailor hats that would be far too big for her on her head. He imagines a future that's much further away, one that sees them bringing two kids to the city and introducing them to the wonders of FAO Schwarz.

One day, he'll be able to tell their child--or children--how excited he'd been to go there himself just to pick out the right things for them, how he and Joel had spent enough time there to put practically every last bit of that store in a cart and then pluck each thing right back out until they could come to an agreement on what the best things to buy would really be. It surprises him to think that New York could be a regular visiting ground for them, but he thinks it's a place that will likely always feel to him like an escape. At the very least, he knows with certainty that he'll never forget this first time here with Joel, how free he feels from the limitations he barely realizes are placed on them when they're in Siren Cove.

Nobody knows them here, and that's part of the beauty of it. There isn't a single soul walking beside them who could place their faces, who could whisper about how Spencer's the man who might have killed his family but had also been recently kidnapped by a madman and is that karma or coincidence? There's nobody who can definitively say that Joel is the quiet, reclusive bookshop owner who'd put on quite the display at Shea Cooper's birthday party last year, who'd been arrested, who'd shut down his own shop because he'd come so close to losing his husband. They're anonymous here, there's no reason to keep their heads down, and Spencer has been finding more and more that he truly loves that feeling.

It's the literary tour, though, that's had him most excited, and he's been bouncing on his heels all day in anticipation of it. He's been checking his watch all day, as if either of them would ever dare be late for something they'd reserved the second they'd booked their flights, but being in the city itself has proven to be an excellent distraction from lingering too long on thoughts of his bruises or of how they'd gotten there in the first place. He's having fun, and it's so soon after what had happened but that doesn't seem to matter. It's this place, it's this man beside him that's helping him heal, and he thinks he'll always feel a sense of gratitude toward this city for that.

"Well," he answers, eliminating one of Joel's cardigan choices by slipping a grey one over his shoulders with a grin before leaning in to press a kiss to his husband's cheek, "we'd likely be much better off getting something before we get completely smashed. I woudln't want you feeling like you're going to be sick before you have your way with me when we get back, after all. That simply wouldn't do."

He loves that Spencer is excited about the tour. Joel is, too, of course, he's been looking forward to this ever since Spencer brought it up and he isn't even sure what the biggest draw is. He very much likes the idea of the tour itself, visiting all these different bars where different authors would have worked. He loves the idea of getting a chance to do something like this with his husband, the only person in his life who shares the same interests, the only person he's ever known who would be interested in something like this. And then there's the thought of drinking a shot of whiskey at every bar, something that's already become something of a tradition for the two of them. It's nice enough on its own, but then he thinks about the two of them spending the afternoon progressively getting more and more drunk, he thinks about stumbling back through the streets of New York, happy and drunk with his husband, and he isn't sure there's anything else in the world he'd like as much as that. They deserve it. Not just because things have been difficult for them, not because they have a baby on the way, not because there's any special reason they deserve it. They just do. Sometimes people deserve to have some time off even if things haven't been hard and he thinks he and Spencer have been working toward something like this for a long time.

"It's probably a good idea," he agrees, taking the blue cardigan and shrugging it over his shoulders, since Spencer seems to want the grey one. It's one of his favourite things, though, seeing Spencer wearing his clothes and Joel doesn't even entirely understand it, but it's charming in a way. Seeing someone he loves so much in something that's so familiar to him, something that's been in his closet for years, something he's worn himself countless times. They've been doing this practically since they began seeing each other and he still remembers the first time he had seen Spencer wearing his clothes, how nice it had felt, how something warm and happy had bloomed in his chest and made him realize all over again just how pleased he was to have met this incredible man.

"We could get to the first bar early," he says as he pats his pockets, making sure he has his wallet and his phone. "Get something to eat there before the tour starts. The first bar is more of a pub really, I was looking at it online yesterday and they have a pretty good menu. It's supposed to be reminiscent of an English pub, although I've never actually been to England so I'm not sure how accurate it will actually be." But the menu had looked appetizing and he doesn't want to miss the start of the tour just because they've gotten lost trying to find some other restaurant. It's not the end of the world if they miss this one, there's another one scheduled for tomorrow, but they're set to return home on Monday afternoon and Joel wants to be able to enjoy the tour itself, the night that follows and not worry about traveling with the possible hangover he's going to wake up with the next day.

He turns toward Spencer, smooths his hands gently over his shoulders while taking care not to put too much pressure on the one that had been injured not all that long ago. "You look better in my cardigans than I do," he says, although he's smiling and he doesn't sound particularly put out by this fact. Spencer looks better in most things than he does, he has the perfect frame for most clothes, and Joel doesn't think he has any idea how good he looks without even trying. There are people who pass them by and actually turn to look at Spencer as they go and he doesn't think his husband realizes that either. He doesn't have an ego, he would probably deny it profusely if Joel were to ever point it out that someone was looking at him, but that's just one more thing he loves so much about his husband.

It doesn't hurt that he feels a faint sense of smug pride when someone else looks at Spencer. They look at him because they find him attractive and Joel is the one who gets to be with him.

"Come on," he says as he does up the buttons of his cardigan, then reaches for Spencer's hand. "Before you end up distracting me and we do miss the start of the tour." He's not even doing anything that someone else might consider remotely distracting, but the truth is that Spencer doesn't need to do anything at all. He just needs to be there. If he smiles or starts talking about books, Joel isn't sure he's going to be able to control himself for long enough to get out of the apartment.

Spencer flushes at the compliment, not because his husband doesn't tell him things like that regularly but because he still feels a bit self-conscious every time he catches his reflection and sees the remnants of the bruises that are fading but still visible. He knows his husband would never stop being attracted to him because of something so superficial but to hear Joel tell him this now helps him to believe it's true. He rolls his eyes fondly, reaching out to straighten his husband's cardigan even though it doesn't need straightening in the slightest, and he's sure that there's no hiding how pleased he is in his smile. "You're looking in the wrong mirror, my love," he retorts, pressing a kiss to the tip of Joel's nose before letting his husband take his hand and lead him out the door.

It occurs to him as they step out of the apartment and onto the street that he's very clearly wearing Joel's clothes, making it even more immediately obvious aside from the hand-holding that they're a couple, and there's something Spencer loves about that. He doesn't typically enjoy most attention, at least not the kind that isn't lavished on him by his husband, and it's not they aren't openly affectionate at home; but in Siren Cove, their marriage isn't a secret. They live together, they run Crossroads together, they attend any social gathering they deem necessary to attend together, and it's simply a well-known fact that Spencer and Joel Waters-Baker are often found attached at the hip. In most cases, finding one will lead to finding the other and so, it's happened more than once that someone will come looking for Joel at the store, only to stay once they realize he's not in yet because they know it likely wouldn't be long for he is.

Here, Spencer almost feels like he'd be happy to have eyes on them, if only because neither of them have a reputation here that could possibly cloud anyone's judgment. His husband is utterly gorgeous, there's nobody in the world who could possibly deny that, and there's something about knowing that he's the one who gets to hold this man's hand, he's the one who will be spending the afternoon getting drunk with him, he's the one who's going home with him at the end of the night--well, it's enough to inflate his ego quite a bit, especially in the face of a wider variety of people who don't get to share the life he does with Joel.

"You know," he says, turning his head to smile mischievously at his husband, "I am capable of distracting you even outside of the apartment. It's not as if being in public has ever stopped me before." He's teasing of course--for the most part--because if he's honest, he wouldn't want to miss the start of the tour, either, not when they've been excited about it for weeks now; but he can't deny that he's also looking forward to what their many shots of whiskey might lead to once they return from the bars, stumbling over each other and doubling over with the easy laughter that comes with having a bit too much alcohol.

It makes him think of the bottle they'd shared together that first time they'd spent time together after the Hydra, though they'd both been significantly more subdued then thanks to how utterly confusing their feelings for each other had been. "Can you believe we've come this far?" he asks suddenly, squeezing Joel's hand tightly before lifting it just a bit so he can use his free hand to brush his thumb over his husband's ring. "Nearly a year ago, I don't think either of us would have been willing to leave town for anyone and now we're here." He slows his stride, stopping in the middle of the street and gesturing around them as people walk around them, some of them looking mildly irritated while others look entirely bothered, and Spencer shifts to face Joel as he rests his hands on Joel's hips.

"Now we're here," he says again, leaning in for a soft kiss. "I'm so in love with you. I will always be so in love with you, and you've seen me through so much. Through the good and the bad, you haven't faltered, you haven't stopped being the man I need you to be and--" He swallows hard, lifting his eyes to the sky as they sting with tears that threaten to fall with a short laugh. "I'm just so happy that we came."

They slow to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk -- and if there's one thing Joel has learned about New York it's that all sidewalks are always busy -- and he's sure some people are glancing their way in irritation as they're forced to step around, but he doesn't even register them. Doesn't remotely care. Spencer is almost always capable of rendering him entirely speechless and Joel can only grin helplessly as his husband speaks, his hands coming first to rest in the crooks of Spencer's elbows and then sliding up and over his shoulders. He's an incredibly lucky make to be with someone this spectacular and he feels it again now, standing here in an unfamiliar city with strangers milling around them. All he can think is how happy he is, how lucky he is, how grateful that Spencer is safe and with him again, but he opens his mouth and nothing comes out but a short, soft laugh.

He has to say something, and although it takes him what feels like ages to finally get his voice back, it does eventually happen. "I'll always be here," he promises, slipping one hand around to rest against the back of Spencer's neck. "Always. There's nothing that will change that, no bad thing in this world can take me away." It's a promise he makes without worry, because he knows he'll fight anything that comes their way, anything that dares to think it can separate him and Spencer. There are magics he can learn, spells and charms and potions, and he makes a silent promise to himself right there to learn everything he can to make himself stronger just for this. To always keep this together.

"And I'll always be in love with you," he says as he finally lifts his hands the rest of the way and cups either side of Spencer's face. He leans in despite the crowd, kissing his husband slowly and firmly, making it very clear to anyone who might cast a glance in their direction just how in love they are. And from somewhere nearby he hears a whistle, a burst of giggles, a flurry of whispers, but none of it can distract him from the very important act of kissing his husband thoroughly enough that by the time they finally break apart he's having a hard time catching his breath.

"This is a good life," he says, slightly out of breath. "And I think we're very lucky to have it." He usually only refers to himself, he usually only says how lucky he is to have Spencer, but the more he thinks about it the more he realizes just how lucky they both are. It's not that he thinks he's some great catch, but they're happy. There's not a doubt in his mind that Spencer loves him, that he's attracted to him, that he's deeply, wonderfully happy being married to him and Joel knows he feels the same way and that's what makes them lucky. It doesn't often seem like real happiness is in generous supply, but they've certainly found it here with each other.

Then he takes Spencer's hand again and begins to lead him down the sidewalk toward their destination. "And soon we're going to add a baby to our family," he continues. "And they're going to know how lucky they are, too." They're going to be so happy, he has no doubt of that. Things might be hard at first, there's going to be an adjustment period and they're going to be tired, but they'll be happy.

As they continue on in the direction of the bar, Spencer's mind lingers on what Joel had said. Yes, this is very much a good life, and they are lucky to have it, no matter what obstacles they've already had to face together. One of the biggest ones still lies ahead, parenthood, and he already knows that they're well-prepared to be the fathers their child more than deserves. It'll be difficult, that he knows for sure, and there will be so many things that happen that they won't be able to feel like they can solve right away when really, the solution will more than likely be right under their noses; but they'll get through it like they do everything else, by each other's side.

There isn't a single day that's gone by since they'd embarked on their relationship that Spencer has felt he can't be honest with Joel about absolutely everything. There are no secrets between them anymore because there don't have to be, there's nothing to hide, nothing Spencer would want to hide. Two years after his family had died, he'd still found it immensely difficult to talk about them; but with Joel, it's become so easy. It'd started as the occasional slip here and there, a mention of how he'd though his mother would like Joel or that Dane would have loved to play the role of the protective brother, but it's grown since then. He doesn't feel like he has to hold back because even though what had happened to them had been so brutal, even though it'd turned Spencer's life so dark, his family will always be a part of him--and Joel has made it clear that he does love all of Spencer.

It means more than he could ever hope to put into words, but he thinks a great deal of it can be said in the way they're here together. Spencer wouldn't have come to New York with anyone else, there'd be nobody else he could share the same sort of experience with, he knows this for a fact. He wouldn't be getting the same kind of enjoyment out of it, in knowing that the man he's going on this literary tour with is genuinely as excited about it as he is, and Spencer loves that. He's heard it said that opposites attract, that being too similar leads frequently to boredom and a fizzling passion, but he thinks that he and Joel have found their relationship to be quite the opposite. Their opinions differ on some things, of course they do; Joel's view on money is very different from Spencer's because of how they'd respectively been raised, and it's not that Spencer thinks of himself as having been very spoiled but he had been very fortunate to be in a position to never have to want for money. That goes hand-in-hand with their habits in purchasing items for the baby--Spencer's tendency to throw everything he sees into the cart and Joel's to pluck all the non-essentials back out.

But all of that is exactly what makes them work. Their similarities put them in sync, on the same page for nearly everything they do, and the minor differences are complementary of each other rather than making them incompatible. Indeed, they are very lucky to have found each other, to have stumbled upon this happy life that had once seemed like such a foreign notion. Spencer truly wouldn't trade it for the world.

The first bar is only a few blocks from where the apartment is, and they arrive with half an hour left to spare. Once they're inside, they find a place closer to the far end of the bartop--because it only seems appropriate to sit where someone like Ernest Hemingway or e.e. cummings might have--and Spencer feels a rush of giddiness at the mere thought that they're officially in a place that had catered to some of the most fascinatings literary minds' penchants for alcohol.

Spencer taps his heel against his barstool, biting his lip to keep from grinning too widely as he reaches out for Joel's hand. "This is exciting, isn't it?" he asks with a sheepish laugh, glancing over his shoulder to get a better feel of the bar's ambience. There's something very charming about it, a tavern and restaurant lit dimly with tables lining the opposite walls where couples and groups are chattering away over pints and burgers. There's one long mural across the length of the bar of city scenery, black and white photographs lining it below of the same, and Spencer can't help thinking that they wouldn't ever be able to find something as charming as this in Siren Cove.

"I can't believe we're only staying for the weekend," he says, glancing down at the menu as they wait for the bartender to mind them. "Maybe the airline will call us and say there's been a terrible mistake, and they can't accomodate us on another flight until next weekend."

Joel huffs out a laugh as he reads his menu as well and thinks about how displeased Charlotte would pretend to be if he called her and said they were staying another week. She would complain and groan, she'd insist the store was too much for her, she'd threaten that they would find it burned down by the time they returned, but under all that he knows she would be perfectly happy with whatever they choose to do. He often thinks his mother doesn't see just how good Charlotte has gotten, how giving and kind she really is under all her jokes and eye rolling. Much like they used to see Joel, he suspects his parents see Charlotte as directionless and he has a very good feeling she's anything but.

Sometimes he thinks his mother in particular doesn't realize that running a bookstore in a quiet town is a direction and one some people would be very happy going in for the rest of their lives. He and Spencer are a perfect example, he thinks, and while his life has gone through enormous changes in the last year, parts of it have stayed very much the same and he suspects his mother overlooks that when she thinks about the fact that he's now married and expecting a child.

"I think that might be okay," he says as they're approached by the bartender. "I wouldn't even mind telling Charlotte because it's not as if she can murder us over the phone, right?"

The bartender raises an eyebrow at the end of Joel's comment, but he doesn't say anything as he takes their orders for lunch. It's interesting to look around this place and realize not only has he never been anywhere quite like this, but famous writers have eaten here before. Siren Cove might very well have a pub similar in nature, but he's never been there and that probably wouldn't come as much of a surprise to anyone. Joel has been out and about more often in the past two days than he has in the past year at home, but he's sure it's only because he's here with Spencer that he's finding it so easy to get out and do things. It's just never been something he's enjoyed, having to be out in the world, not when his home has always been so much more comfortable and comforting.

"It is exciting, though," he agrees, glancing around again. There are more people arriving by the minute and it's clear some of them are tourists just like him and Spencer. They're likely here for the start of the tour as well and he looks over them, realizing he and Spencer are planning to spend the afternoon getting progressively drunker in front of these people. They all look more or less like regular people, but there's one couple who are already glancing around with a faint expression of distaste. They might not be on the tour at all, but he thinks of these two looking at him and Spencer as they drink and finds his shoulders shaking with laughter.

"Have you considered how many people might be angry with us by the end of this tour?" he asks, but he doesn't look too upset by the idea. "We have to promise right now to be very respectful to the guide and not at all disruptive no matter how drunk we get. Once it's done we can be as disruptive as we want."

Spencer is squinting at some of the old photographs behind the bar when he notices his husband's shoulders are shaking, and he turns to Joel with a look of confusion and curiosity until he realizes Joel is laughing. What he's laughing about is enough to make Spencer narrow his eyes and smirk as he glances over his shoulder and the people who have flooded in, some of them clearly as enchanted by the place as they are, and he thinks those are the ones who are going to be understanding by the time they hit the fifth bar. There is a couple that's apparently found it preferable to stand off to the side with their arms crossed over their chests, and Spencer has no idea whether they're regulars irritated with having to deal with waiting around until the tour group moves on or whether they're actually a part of the tour themselves. He's not even sure which would be worse, but he does privately hope that the couple will be walking along with them for the next seven bars because in that case, Spencer is quite certain that he will feel even less of a need to hold back.

"I don't know that the last part is a promise I can make," he says, tone solemn, smiling in appreciation when the bartender drops their food off before glancing back at Joel. "After all, you make me want to be disruptive at any given hour of the day, I'm supposed to keep that in check while we're on a public pub tou? You're asking a little much, my love, I really have to say."

The nice thing about both of them is that when it comes to consuming alcohol, neither of them are particularly sloppy drunks. A bit stumbly, perhaps, and they might get a touch louder or laugh a bit harder than usual, but Spencer hardly thinks that can be considered disruptive. Granted, they've never bar-hopped together--Spencer has never bar-hopped at all--so there's really no telling what sort of trouble they'll be getting into this evening.

"I will try," he promises, taking a bite of the burger he'd ordered, and he's rendered speechless for a moment because it's incredible. Bar food isn't typically a favor to the palate but this is exceptional, with avocado and truffle sauce bringing out flavors that Spencer's never really tasted on a burger in Siren Cove before, and he's struck with yet another reason of why he's quickly growing to adore this city.

"Okay," a voice calls from behind them, "everyone here for the Literary Tour, be ready in about five or ten minutes, we're going to sign you in and then we can get you all well on you way to having your first drinks. My name's Casey, if you have any questions, please feel free to direct them to your friendly neighborhood bartender with bonus tip."

There's scattered, appreciative laughter, and Spencer chuckles before returning to his burger. "Seven bars," he says, suddenly in awe of this choice they'd made weeks ago to celebrate their weekend by honoring what's become a bit of a symoblic drink for them, and Spencer can't think of a better way to spend this evening.

"Seven bars," Joel says after he's taken a bite of his own sandwich, roast chicken and fresh vegetables and some kind of sauce he thinks tastes just a little bit like Thai chili. "Seven bars and seven shots. I'm beginning to think there's no chance in the world of us not being disruptive by the end of that. He really does want to be respectful of their guide, especially since he knows both he and Spencer are actually interested in the tour and aren't just going as an excuse to get drunk in the middle of the day. But he also has a feeling the two of them are going to be doing a fair amount of laughing and shushing each other once they reach a certain point in the tour and he can only hope they hold it together long enough so as not to annoy their guide.

It isn't a lot of time to eat, but the sandwich Joel has ordered is delicious and he has no problem finishing it and leaving a generous tip for the bartender as he pays. Once he turns away from the bar to survey the rest of the group, he reaches over to find Spencer's hand, threading their fingers together and squeezing lightly. It isn't just being here or this city, he's always happy to be with Spencer, but there is something special, something out of the ordinary about this place. It's the first time Joel has comfortably left Siren Cove in nearly twelve years, and while he supposes the cruise counts, while he definitely has some incredible memories of that trip, it hasn't quite been a vacation they'd planned on their own.

Aoife had offered the use of her apartment, but besides that, this is entirely something they've done on their own. This isn't being offered to them as some kind of ploy, there's not going to be an explosion, there won't be an island or any terrible monsters coming after them. They're going to have fun and then they're going to go home, happier for their trip, closer still than they've ever been. It's just one more thing about being married to Spencer that surprises Joel all the time. How easy it is to fall more in love, to grow closer to his husband, to learn something new about him. Spencer knows him better than anyone ever has before, but he loves so much that they still have the ability to surprise each other.

"Alright," their guide calls, "I'm going to ask everyone to come sign in. I promise not to make anyone wear name tags, but given that I suspect you'll all be drinking all afternoon, you probably wouldn't be able to read them in about an hour anyway."

Joel laughs, then looks over at Spencer as he slides off his stool, still holding his hand. "He's right in our case at the very least," he says, but he's not feeling the slightest bit apologetic about it. They deserve a little fun and a little happiness.

"Hey," Casey says as they approach the table where he's asked everyone to sign in. "Don't tell me where you're from, I've got four out of six right so far and I'm going for a new record this time." He pauses, looking at Spencer, then at Joel, then says, "Canada. East coast."

"Does it count as getting it right if I'm from there originally?" Joel asks, looking between his husband and their guide.

"Only if it makes me an honorary Canadian," Spencer answers dryly, his brow arched playfully in Joel's direction while Casey frantically waves his hands in front of him.

"I wasn't done, I wasn't done! Okay, so we got Canada, but you... Judging by the shiner you obviously had, I'd guess you're maybe a little bit of a scrapper. No heavy accent, so I wouldn't guess New York or Mass. Maybe Maine?"

Spencer lets him have it because it's easier than explaining the truth behind the fading bruises, so he smiles and nods and congratulates while Casey congratulates himself on a job well done, jotting down his admittedly impressive correct guesses on his sheet as Spencer tugs at Joel's hand so they can go look at more of the photographs framed on the wall until they hear their guide clear his throat to get his group's attention.

"Okay, everyone, thanks for being patient while we get our sign-ins done but now that we're all here, we can get this show on the road."

There are a few cheers at that, with one man behind them shouting that he's already in need of a drink, and Spencer bites back his smile as he bounces on his feet, trying his best to contain the excitement that's working its way back up in him again.

"Once again, my name is Casey, and you're all standing in the very lovely Minetta Tavern. It's based in this little oasis we call Minetta Triangle, named for what it used to be before it got paved over, a trout stream that was called--you guessed it--Minetta Waters. At least they were consistent, right? The Tavern opened up in 1931, primarily serving Italian food before it branched out because people like me begged for more variety, and the basement was originally home to Reader's Digest, which is exactly the reason it got itself on this tour."

Spencer's eyes widen at that, and he squeezes Joel's out just out of reflex at what Casey has said. He's purposely not done any research at all on the pubs they'd be visiting, and he's never been one to do much reading on tourist attractions like this outside of Siren Cove so the very fact that he's learning andNew York Evening Mail. The Professor's greatest claim to fame was what he'd claimed was the longest book ever written, An Oral History of Our Time. Anybody read this one?" Spencer smirks at the questions because he knows what the answer ought to be, and Casey waits a moment as he watches others give shakes of their heads. "I'm glad you all said no because unfortunately for Gould, the book never actually existed."

Spencer sees a few people rolls their eyes, though they looked moderately amused, and there are some outright laughs. When he glances at Joel, it warms him to see that his husband looks delighted, and it's not that he'd been worried they'd be disappointed but Casey seems to be playfully informative and happy to be giving the crowd a good time, making this all the more enjoyable. He's never really done something like this before, there isn't much reason to go on a walking tour of his own town, but to be here with the only other person he can think of who'd be willing to do something like this makes everything else seem so much less important. Reality will be waiting for them when they get back home; but for right now, Spencer is beyond happy to get lost in learning about pubs and their relation to literature while getting progressively drunk throughout the evening.

"Okay, folks, you can go ahead and mingle a bit, order a drink or ten if you'd like, just remember that there will be six more bars after this so you might want to at least consider pacing yourselves."

Spencer grins, holding back a laugh as he and Joel head back toward the bartop. "It's technically pacing ourselves if we only have the one shot at each bar, right? Granted, it's a steady pace, but still a pace."

"I absolutely think it counts as pacing ourselves," Joel agrees as he and Spencer head to the bar, though he's only partly paying attention to what he's saying. His mind is filled with the fact he's just been given, replaying them over as he considers what they mean and how historically significant this place is to the modern literary world. It's just one of seven bars they're going to be visiting today and he's already floored by just how much he's learning. Like Spencer, he'd avoided doing any research so that any and all information given would be new to him, and they've only done one bar so far, but Joel is already extremely excited about the rest of the tour. Whatever else they do this weekend, at the moment he's convinced this is going to be the highlight.

Of course, that's sure to change as soon as he and Spencer are drunk enough that groping his husband in public seems like a good idea and then that will be the highlight of the weekend.

The bar is busier now that the entire tour group is here and they all seem to be ordering drinks, but Joel takes the time to look at the bottles of whiskey that line the shelf behind the bar. There are some incredibly high quality brands there and since they're on vacation Joel decides to just go for it. They're not the type to excessively splurge on things most of the time -- except when it comes to things for their baby, apparently -- and Joel thinks they've more than earned something a little special for this trip. So by the time the bartender has made his way to them, Joel knows what he's going to ask for and he asks for the Highland Park he's spotted against the back of the bar.

"Going all out, are you?" the bartender asks with a grin, but he pours the drinks and passes them across to Spencer and Joel. The drink might be expensive, but Joel pays for it without blinking, which is something he wouldn't have been able to manage just a few months ago, but this is for the two of them. It's for him and it's for Spencer. It's to make the memory of the past several weeks fade just a little further. There's nothing in the world he wouldn't do for Spencer, so buying a pricey glass of whiskey is barely a drop in the bucket. It's going to be worth it anyway, he can already smell how good it is as he lifts his own glass and nudges Spencer's toward him with the tips of his fingers.

This is where he belongs. He feels it as keenly in that moment as he ever does, but there's something else, something just a little deeper driving it home. It might be the fact that he came awfully close to losing this, losing Spencer or it's possible it's just really being away from home together for the first time. There's no ill-fated cruise ship, no island of horrors waiting for them, and Joel knows this is entirely what his life is meant to be. Where he's meant to be. He's by far the luckiest man in this bar, probably the luckiest man in this city, and as he lifts his glass, he finds he's just studying Spencer with what he's sure is a dopey looking smile on his face.

But Spencer is perfect for him and Joel thinks he can hardly be blamed for just simply looking at him when he has the chance.

"To our first and last weekend away from home as a married couple without children?" he asks with a little smile on his face. They're going to be so happy, he has no doubt of that, but he also knows there's a lot of work ahead of them. He's looking forward to it all more than he knows how to say, but he has every intention of enjoying every last bit of freedom they have, too. They're going to make the most of this weekend, of that he has no doubt.

It doesn't necessarily surprise Spencer that Joel goes for the top shelf whiskey but his smile alone is enough evidence to show that it does please him. One shot alone can cost at least thirty dollars on average but when he follows his husband's lead and breathes in the liquor, it's obvious that the price is worth it. He doesn't make it a habit to drink High Park, mostly because a bottle can run upwards of five hundred dollars, but he's treated himself to it once or twice before. It's been quite a few years since the last time he'd had it, though, so seeing Joel order it without a trace of worry in his expression warms him more than he knows the whiskey will. He loves that they're taking full advantage of this trip to do what they wouldn't back home, that they're allowing themselves the luxury of having the incredible time he thinks they deserve, and Spencer thinks that with each passing moment, just being here with Joel is helping him heal more and more.

"God," he says with an incredulous laugh, shaking his head as he clinks his glass against Joel's, "how is this our life? I never thought that I'd have it this good." Spencer doesn't know how he, of all people, had ended up the one with a happy, passionate marriage and secure future when he knows so many people who seem to be looking for just that, but he certainly has no plans to fight it. While getting married or even being in a romantic relationship had never been on his agenda, Spencer is beyond grateful that his husband had happened to him, and he thinks one of the things that makes their love so strong is that they're both very much aware of how rare it is to click with someone so quickly, so easily. Especially for two people like them, finding common ground and being able to expand on that can be incredibly difficult, as can overcoming the fear and anxiety that comes with wondering if growing feelings could ever be returned.

He smiles, a quick quirk of his lips, as he raises the glass to his lips, taking a modest sip first just to have the chance to truly appreciate the whiskey before he takes a larger gulp, closing his eyes and grinning when it slides smoothly down his throat and settles in his belly. "I can't even explain to you how happy I am right now," he says, eyes still closed as he sets his glass down then slowly lets them flutter back open to meet Joel's. "I'll always think of that first night we spent in the library." He pauses, laughing softly. "Both first nights, actually. Sharing that bottle with you, wanting so badly to touch you. Exchanging those shells and nearly getting to kiss you in the light of the fireworks."

He reaches for Joel's free hand, squeezing gently as he leans in to press a soft kiss to his husband's cheek. "I'll never forget it. Not only because my mind doesn't let me forget anything."

Before he can say anything else, a loud, sharp and enthusastic voice cuts in from beside him. "Are you two on your honeymoon? Sweetie, come here, I think these two are on their honeymoon, too!"

Spencer blinks at Joel, as if just taking this beat to stare at his husband will make the voice go away, but then he slowly turns his head to face the woman next to him who visibly recoils at the sight of the bruises on his face.

"Oh, my god, were you mugged on your honeymoon? Sweetie, get over here, he was mugged on their honeymoon! We need to be so careful, I told you!"

"We're not on our honeymoon," Spencer says, though he's almost certain that the woman won't care either way, and just as he hadn't bothered to correct Casey's assumption earlier, he lets the woman believe that he'd been mugged, even though there's a part of him that feels guilty about that because everyone they've come across in the city has been perfectly nice. He hasn't felt unsafe at all, and he doesn't want anyone to think that they should feel that way; but he'd much rather not discuss what had happened with Roman than convince the woman that she'll be alright, so he keeps mum on that subject.

"Oh, well, we are," she says, pointing at a man on the other side of the room--presumably her husband--who keeps glancing over and gesturing with a wave, as if to say he'll be right over when he clearly has no intention whatsoever of being right over, but it seems to satisfy the woman well enough. "That's Landon, I'm Shelly. We're from Montana, we just got married last week, and it's our first time here, can you believe it?"

Spencer can believe it. He can believe it very well, in fact, and he opens his mouth to say as much but she cuts him off again.

"It's so different from what we're used to but gosh, I really am loving it. Landon wanted to do this tour, but I'm making him do a shopping tour tomorrow, so I guess it's fair." She pauses to tug her dark hair back so she can take a long sip of the beer in her Pilsner before grinning back up at them. "So how long have you two been married? You sure you're not on your honeymoon? You look like you are, all cute and smitten with each other."

In a way Joel supposes they should have expected something like this. They're on a tour, after all, which is about as touristy an event as one can get, but somehow he had still expected that he and Spencer would be left alone. They would go bar to bar, they'd drink their shots, get drunk and head back to the apartment alone where they could continue their own private celebration. It's perhaps a little rude of him to feel a flush of irritation at the interruption -- he supposes they're at a social event, after all -- but he can't seem to help himself. And he stares back at Spencer for a long moment before they both turn to look at the woman who is addressing them. As enthusiastic as she might be, at least she isn't being offensive in any way, which Joel hadn't really expected in New York anyway. Tourists, though, he's not sure what to think and given that she seems to think they're cute rather than some kind of awful abominations in the eyes of the Lord or any other ridiculous sentiment he's been half on guard against relaxes him just a little.

People like to be social. He doesn't necessarily understand it himself, he's far more content to just spend time with Spencer and the few friends he's really come to trust, but there are a lot of people who aren't like he is in that manner. There are people who like to talk to strangers and make new friends, and given that they've put themselves in a perfect situation to welcome something like that, he figures they should at least try not to be rude about it. Spencer is more likely to have an easy time of it than he is. While he knows they're both introverted and like to keep to themselves, Spencer has always seemed to be kinder than Joel. He's more likely to give someone a chance whereas Joel will feel himself tightening up, preparing to tell someone to get lost and let them have this time to themselves.

They have six more bars to go, though. It's probably best that he at least try not to make the other tour members too angry before they continue on. While he still has every intention of getting drunk with his husband, he expects it might be just a touch more awkward if he's made people uncomfortable by just telling them to leave them alone. And there are probably people who have come on this tour specifically to socialize. That might not be what Joel and Spencer are here for, but she's said she's doing this tour to make her husband happy and if there's anything Joel can understand, it's that. There's no end to what he would do to make Spencer happy.

"Uh, nine months," Joel says when she asks how long they've been married. She's introduced herself and her husband and he figures that's an invitation for him to do the same. "I'm Joel and this is Spencer." He doesn't know if anyone has ever described them as cute before and he isn't sure he would have ever used the word smitten to define their relationship, but he supposes it's apt as well. He loves Spencer deeply, is more committed to him than he's ever been to anyone or anything else, and he has every intention of spending the rest of his life with this man. But when he looks at him, he still feels that same flush of excitement he'd felt during their first few weeks of trying to discover what this might be. Whenever he sees Spencer, that same glow still lights him up from the inside and he knows exactly what Spencer had been saying when he'd mentioned their first times. The first night in the library, talking side by side while they'd drunk that entire bottle of whiskey. He remembers how nervous he'd been, how hopeful and confused, how badly he'd wanted just to be near the quiet librarian.

And now they're here. They've come so far from that night.

"We're here to, uh... to h-have a weekend to ourselves," he says and he knows he sounds nervous, but he's never been able to quite get over that. Talking to Spencer is easy, speaking to most of his friends has gotten easier, too, over the years, but strangers are still difficult to him. They make him nervous and awkward and he's back to stuttering and stammering in a way he's mostly left behind. Mostly because he doesn't often talk to strangers at all.

"A weekend to yourselves!" Shelly says, leaning on the bar with a smile. "You two got a busy life back wherever you're from?"

"We... sort of," Joel says, glancing as Spencer as if he's looking for some kind of support. "We have a bookstore, but we're- we have... I mean, we're expecting a baby. Well, our surrogate is. Soon. She's due pretty soon."

Never in his life has Spencer heard a more ear-shattering squeal than that of Shelly from Montana's at the news that he and Joel, two strangers that she has only just met, are expecting a new addition to their family. Spencer watches with something akin to awe as she tilts her head back, frantically waving both hands over her cheeks in an apparent attempt to keep herself from crying, and he has absolutely no idea whatsoever why she would be crying over this but one look at his husband tells him that Joel is at just a great a loss.

Just as he's about to ask if she's alright, Shelly gasps in a breath and straightens back up, reaching for his hand, and it takes everything in Spencer's power not to recoil at the touch. He gropes for Joel's knee behind him, his shoulders tense, and Spencer doesn't want to alienate the woman but at the same time, he's not exactly comfortable. Still, she's smiling a wide, toothy grin at him, blinking upwards to keep her tears from falling from her heavily made up eyes.

"I'm just so happy for you two," she gushes, and Spencer narrows his eyes, unsure of how to respond. He supposes he can't be upset about that or argue against it, though he still wishes she would let go of his hand, and he gives her a tight smile as he snakes himself out of her grasp before letting out a short, nervous laugh, the only response he's capable of giving right now. It doesn't seem to phase her in any way, and she clutches at her chest as her gaze flickers between them, her eyes expressing a strange sort of pride that's nothing short of puzzling. "No, really, I am. Landon and I want to start a family soon, too, and I can't wait for that to happen. Can you imagine, holding a little baby in your arms and knowing she's yours? Oh, well, of course you can, you said yours is due soon! When's the date?"

"July 7," Spencer answers immediately, ducking his head to smile before sneaking a glance at Joel. They've been waiting for July to come for what seems like forever now, and he knows they're supposed to be taking this weekend to focus on themselves, on their relationship--which they are, it's just that he thinks a break or two to think about the baby isn't such a bad thing--but he can't help but let his mind wander every so often to what it's going to be like to be a husband and a father. He thinks he's quite good at the husband part, they both are, and perhaps he's getting ahead of himself but considering just how excited they are and the lengths they've gone to in order to make sure they're prepared for the baby's arrival, Spencer is inclined to believe that they'll be good fathers, too.

"Oh, my word, you're getting so close! And you've only been married nine months? That's quick decisioning if I ever heard, I'll tell you. It only took Landon six years to finally ask me to tie the knot but..." She leans, lowering her voice as if conspiring with them as she holds her hand out to show off the excessively large diamond ring on her finger. "It was worth the wait." She sits back up, grinning like she's terribly pleased with herself, and takes another sip of her beer. "We got married at this beautiful piece of property in Missoula, and we've both got huge families so it was a big wedding. Tons of food, lots of dancing, and a load of stress. Best day of my life. What was your wedding like?"

Their wedding, Spencer thinks, had been very different from the one Shelly has described, but the memory of it will never fail to warm him. His gaze shift until he's looking at his own ring, then Joel's, then up into his husband's eyes as he moves his hand from Joel's knee to take his hand. "Best day of my life," he echoes, and he wouldn't be able to take his eyes off his husband right now if he tried. It's strange, the way the noise around them seems to fade to something more muted as he focuses his attention solely on his husband, willing the rest of the world to disappear just for this moment, just so he can enjoy sitting here with the man he loves as he recalls the finer details of the day they'd made official the promises that had already been made.

He brushes his thumb over Joel's as he finally turns back to Shelly's expectant expression, the sounds of the bar rising back up to full volume, and Spencer can't help but grin. "We eloped," he admits. "The day Joel picked up our marriage license, we left town to find someone who would perform the ceremony, and we ended the night as husbands."

There had been so much more to it, but Spencer considers it sacred, something that he and Joel had left Siren Cove to do only together for a reason. There's a part of him that wants to tell everyone just how beautiful a ceremony it'd really been, how they'd both cried as they'd exchanged their vows because they'd been so incredibly happy, how it'd felt to be able to slide that ring on Joel's finger and know that for the rest of their lives, he'd be able to call this man his husband; but the bigger part of him is selfish, so he just shrugs a shoulder when Shelly asks him to expand on the story, his smile firmly intact.

"It was very lovely," he says, his tone gentle and kind but still making it clear that he isn't willing to share much more on the subject. Shelly is a stranger, after all, nice as she's been, and Spencer hopes she won't take it personally. At the very least, she doesn't seem to look particularly offended.

"Okay, everyone," Casey's voice sounds from the opposite end of the bar, "finish up your drinks, pay out your tabs, and say your goodbyes because we're going to be leaving Minetta shortly to move on to our next destination, the famed White House Tavern."

Shelly sighs heavily at the announcement, impressively knocking back the rest of her beer before giving Spencer and Joel a wholly unnecessary apologetic look. "Sorry, I have to go find my husband now because he's the one footing the bill. We'll see you two at the next one!"

Once she's hurried off, Spencer turns to Joel and lets out a long exhale. "Well," he says, trying to keep his expression neutral so that he doesn't burst into laughter, "I certainly wasn't expecting that on the tour."

Joel watches her go, looking faintly bewildered as she threads through the crowd to find her husband and it's strange, because she's nothing like his sister at all, but she shares that same sort of energy, the kind he's just sort of baffled by. Charlotte is significantly more cynical that Shelly seems to be, far more prone to cursing and giving someone a hard time than squealing over the news of a stranger's baby, but it's something about the way she moves. It's like she demands attention in a way Joel has never understood and truthfully never wants to understand. That's not the sort of thing he would ever be comfortable with and he's glad, if that sort of thing is hereditary, that his sister seemed to get all of it. Even now that Shelly's a good distance from them, he can still hear her voice carrying over the din and he blinks a few times before looking over at Spencer and shaking his head.

"I don't think I expect that out of life most of the time," he says, then huffs out a laugh. He isn't saying it to be mean, she was perfectly nice in every way, but most of the time Joel just isn't sure what to do with people like that. Those who are comfortable being social. Or those who aren't just comfortable with it, but seem so thrive on it. People who require interactions like that to live. He knows it's simply the difference between being introverted and extroverted, and he does his best not to judge, but Joel's not always the most charitable man, he's well aware of that. And she was nice, of course, but he sort of hopes she keeps to herself for the rest of the tour.

That's probably too much to hope for, though, when she's talking animatedly with her husband and gesturing at Joel and Spencer from across the bar. Her husband catches Joel looking and gives him a smile that's almost weary, but there's something familiar in that expression. It's a look that say, you don't have to understand her, because she's mine and he sometimes wonders how often Spencer wears an expression like that. Every time Joel is unnecessarily rude to someone, every time he refuses an offer for a social gathering in a manner significantly less than graceful. Every time his husband is the one left facing customers while Joel grumbles about having to dig through a box to find them a specific book. He turns around sometimes and finds Spencer wearing an expression very similar to that. Not that weary smile, not even close, but the rest of it.

I know he's grumpy. You don't have to understand him. He's mine.

And for some reason he feels both a flare of grateful appreciation for Shelly's husband, and a bigger, much deeper flare of love for his own. There are all sorts of people in this world and most of the time Joel had never expected to find one that would want him, but here he is. Spencer loves him despite all his flaws, despite all the ridiculous ways in which he conducts himself, and he leans in, sliding his hand against the back of Spencer's neck to tug him close. It doesn't matter that they're in the middle of a bar where everyone can see them, he kisses Spencer firmly. From across the bar he hears a little hoot and he's sure it's Shelly, but he only grins at Spencer when they part and takes his hand.

"Come on," he says. "We've got six more bars and six more shots waiting for us."

If Spencer tugs on Joel's hand as the rest of their tour group, led by their ever enthusiastic guide, shuffles out the door so they can trail behind, he doesn't think his husband will mind. Maybe it's a bit awful of him that he's already tuckered out from being social, but Shelly had been exceptionally chatty and while he supposes he can't really call her nosy because it hadn't been as if she'd been prodding deep into their private lives, Spencer still thinks he wouldn't have asked so many questions himself. Granted, he wouldn't have asked any random couple in a bar any questions at all, so he supposes that's where they differ in the first place. At least, he thinks, she'd been nice.

The people they've run into in the city have all been helpful and kind, so unlike the stereotypes that get thrown around about the population here, and it'd come as such a pleasant surprise to him. Spencer hadn't quite known what to expect because he, of all people, knows how important it is not to assume things about anyone just because of rumors and gossip but at the same time, he's never been great at coming off as anything less than irritable or stand-offish in the presence of strangers. There's something different about being in New York City, though, something magical that has nothing to do with the power Joel has at his fingertips, and he likes it. He likes it here, where nobody knows his name and thus, nobody knows anything about his past. Too many people in Siren Cove are aware of what he's been accused of doing and even though he's certain that barely any of them really think he'd done any of it anymore, there's still the matter of being the latest victim in the string of Siren Cove misfortunes.

Here, he's just a man walking down the street with his husband. Anonymous and in love. He finds that he much prefers it, but he knows it's good that it's just for a short while. It's like living in a dream and as he well knows, even dreams can fall apart in the blink of an eye. Besides, what they have waiting for them back home is significantly better than what they'll ever find here--a baby, a life and a future that neither of them would have expected, and Spencer can't help the grin that spreads across his face as he tightens his grip on Joel's hand.

"I have to admit, after another six shots, I might be the one running to find her so I can tell her all about my perfect husband and our perfect baby and our perfect future," he says, arching a playful brow. "Just watch out for me, make sure I'm not giving out phone numbers to anyone who wants to know whether we've had a boy or girl, that's taking it a little far. Though maybe we could namedrop the bookshop, there's nothing wrong with a bit of shameless self-promotion, right?"

He doubts that any of these people would be particularly keen on stopping by Crossroads in a town like Siren Cove, Maine, not after a majority of them have clearly escaped from their own towns to get a taste of a bigger, busier life. To be fair, he and Joel are going to be nothing but busy and exhausted when the baby arrives, but much like how he feels running around the city now, Spencer knows that there's nothing he's going to enjoy more than the lack of sleep he'll get from caring for their baby. In the moment, he might get frustrated; he and Joel might snap at each other out of a desperate need for sleep; but at the end of the day, apologies won't even be necessary because they'll already be curled up against each other in bed with their gorgeous baby sleeping soundly with them.

"Here we are, folks!" Casey's voice carries from the head of the group, and Spencer looks up in surprise when he realizes they've arrived at the next bar. "One of the things White Horse Tavern is best known for is being a bar Jack Kerouac frequented because he lived right above it in what used to be a disturbingly small floor of apartments. Once we're inside, you can feel free to take a look inside the bathroom where one of the stars do read 'Go home, Jack!'"

Spencer chuckles at that, nodding his thanks to Casey as he and Joel bring up the rear to enter the bar and once everyone is inside, their guide continues his brief lesson on the site.

"A more famous association with White Horse Tavern that might be of interest to most of you is Dylan Thomas, who actually has a booth inside commemorated with a plaque because of how often he-- Oh, see, look, our couple from Canada and Maine have found it. Well done, boys."

Spencer's cheeks redden as he finishes sliding into the booth, simply the first one he'd spotted, and he looks at the plaque that Casey had mentioned before giving Joel a startled look and returning his attention to Casey.

"In 1953, Thomas actually drank so much that he got alcohol poisoning and unfortunately, died soon after being taken to the hospital. We want to avoid doing that, so if you could all do me a favor, try to keep the whole dying of alcohol poisoning thing to a minimum. You might notice that right now, we've got some Bob Dylan playing, which is nicely appropriate because he adopted that name thanks to, who now? That's right, Mister Dylan Thomas. So enjoy yourselves while we're here, make good choices, and we have five more bars to visit after this so just keep that in mind."

Joel can't help but grin when Spencer's cheeks flush and he's given a startled look. It's not as if he's never been attracted to anyone else, but there's never been a single person whose features have come together as to be so utterly striking as Joel finds Spencer. Even in a moment like this, when he looks more startled than anything, there's just something about his expression that makes Joel feel warm inside, like he's been given something special. And he has, he supposes. He and Spencer have a solid, dependable relationship, one that works on trust and respect and understanding, but there are certainly days when he feels like he's been given a great gift. When someone has just walked up to him, presented him with Spencer, and it's turned out to be the best thing anyone could ever give him. It doesn't work like that, he can't compare his husband to a present someone has given him, not when the two of them struggled to find each other in their own ways, but he just feels so damn lucky every single day. If anyone has given him something special, it's Spencer. He's given Joel his love and his trust, he's given him more than Joel could have ever hoped to receive and he reaches across the table when Spencer looks at him and squeezes his hand as he gives him a happy, reassuring smile. Neither of them like the attention, but he thinks it's perfectly understandable that Spencer attracts it wherever he goes.

They're reminded they have five more bars even as Joel orders their shots of whiskey and he raises his eyebrows at what's said about Dylan Thomas dying of alcohol poisoning in this very bar. That's definitely not something Joel wants to have happen to either of them, but he thinks they'll both be okay. They might not be particularly heavy drinkers, but they're both well versed enough in the consumption of whiskey that he thinks they know their own limits. They've decided to have a shot at each bar, but Joel thinks if either of them reach a point where they feel like they can't drink anymore, they'll know it. Neither of them is prone to doing something just because they think they're supposed to and Joel knows if there's anyone who isn't going to judge him one way or the other, it's the man he's here with.

"No dying of alcohol poisoning," he says when their shots are delivered, lifting his glass toward Spencer's with a grin. Perhaps not the most creative toast to be making, but maybe the most fitting for this bar in particular. There's five more shots, five more toasts to go, and he can't make each and every one perfect. Especially when he's never been good at them to begin with, just one more thing he knows Spencer will forgive him. There's a good number of things Joel has never been particularly good at, but with Spencer he tries so much harder than he's ever cared to try with anyone before. And he's never been made to feel stupid because something might make him feel awkward, which makes it easier for him to try harder. They're just good together in every possible way and Joel knows this isn't exactly the best time for him to get excessively emotional, so he just wrinkles his nose slightly and takes his shot.

All without being able to take his eyes off Spencer.

It seems like no time at all before Casey is calling for their attention again and Joel knows it's not very charitable, but he's grateful Shelly's husband has seemed to keep her entertained at this bar. She was very nice, but he knows there's only so much of a person like that he can handle and he thinks what he needs is to get just a little bit more drunk before he's expected to spend much more time with anyone besides his husband. This is their trip, after all.

"Alright, so the next bar we'll be hitting up is Pete's Tavern," Casey announces. "This one is a bit of a walk, so it'll give you guys a chance to burn off the alcohol I see you've been quite enthusiastically putting back. If anyone feels themselves getting hungry or feeling a little dehydrated, we're guaranteed to run across about three dozen food trucks between here and there, so feel free to grab my attention and make a quick stop if you need to. I want to make sure everyone makes it through to the end of this. So pay up, tip your server appropriately and let's get going."

Joel stretches as he climbs out of the booth, then offers Spencer his hand to join him. "I'm really glad we had something to eat before we started this or I think I might already be feeling it a little," he says, still smiling. And while he's not drunk, not even a little, he does feel incredibly good. It's just such a nice feeling to be here with Spencer, away from everything back home, away from all their responsibilities and all the awful things that had just happened that they've left behind. He knows they can't forget, not entirely, he knows it's the sort of thing that's still going to follow them, but he also thinks they've done a really good job at leaving it behind for now. They've decided to make this trip something special, a good memory for them to take with them for the rest of their lives, and no one is going to take that from them.

The more time that passes on this trip, the more certain Spencer is that coming here had absolutely been the right choice for them. He knows that Joel would have canceled all their bookings in an instant--which would have been fine, for the most part, because travel insurance isn't something either of them had been willing to pass up--if Spencer had said he wasn't up for it and in a lot of ways, he supposes he maybe shouldn't have been. He's still in pain, a dull sort of pain that doesn't bother him quite so much anymore, especially with the help of the potions Joel always seems to have ready for him before Spencer even bothers to say he needs one, and he knows he doesn't look like he's in top form right now; but he'd brought along the charm Davin had kindly made for him and between that and his husband being at his side, he's been fine.

He knows that could change. He knows that once they return home, the light feeling of being on a vacation without having to worry about anyone or anything else--even though he's still been texting Charlotte about the store and the house and the pets, all the while snorting over what he tells her are highly insensitive knife emoji responses--he could very well go back to worrying about what stranger might be watching him, stalking him, plotting to take him away from his husband again.

But he can't live like that. Spencer is as aware of that fact as he is his own identity, but he remembers what his life had been like after Mark. Full of fear and worry and distress, leveled only by the warmth of Joel's lips on his own. That remedy, at least, will always be available to him and with the baby coming so soon, he suspects--hopes--that he'll be far too busy changing diapers and counting their child's fingers and toes to concern himself with why he'd come so close to joining his parents and brother again. Admittedly, it's difficult to think that way when he has a man like his husband smiling at him as he does. It's barely been a year but so quickly, Joel had become his life, his everything, and it's for that very reason that he'd known Joel would understand what it meant for Spencer to leave his ring behind that day.

He's never taken it off, has no intention of ever taking it off again, and he rubs his thumb over it before squeezing Joel's hand tight as they approach the next bar. "This one might be the one that really starts to hit me," he says with a grin, leaving his thoughts of Mark and Roman and all of the pain they've brought to their lives behind. So much of this trip is meant to heal and as far as Spencer is concerned, it's working. He's here, he's with his husband, they're happy. There's little else he could possibly ask for in this moment.

He steps right over to the bar to order a couple shots of Johnnie Walker Blue, glancing over his shoulder to shift his gaze between Joel and Casey as their guide narrates a bit of history, and when the bartender returns, she offers him a wide smile.

"Honeymooning?" she asks, laughing when Spencer simply stares blankly for a moment in response. "You just have that look about you. Guessing that's your husband over there, good-looking guy like you with a gorgeous guy like him? Not fair for the rest of us."

Spencer can feel himself reddening, and he's lost count of how many times he's blushed this evening but at the same time, it pleases him to know that he and Joel still look as in love with each other now as they did when they'd gotten married. It's never going to fade, he's sure of that, and he tips one of the shot glasses toward the bartender before tugging a fifty from his wallet and setting it on the counter.

"Well, he's definitely my husband," Spencer tells her, "and you're right, he is gorgeous. About nine months past our honeymoon, but you're not the first to ask so I guess the guess is close enough. Thank you for the drinks, I don't need change."

He heads back toward Joel, drinks in hand and amused smile firmly intact as he holds one out. "Apparently, we're looking like newlyweds everywhere we go." He leans in carefully, mindful of his ribs, and presses a long, sweet kiss to his husband's lips. "I really don't think I mind it."

Joel takes the drink before he grins at Spencer and shrugs, leaning into the kiss eagerly. He's not quite there yet, but with the addition of this shot, he's going to be one step closer to not caring even for a moment who sees the two of them kissing. Not that he usually cares to begin with, but there are times when Joel is far more comfortable keeping their private life extremely private. While he loves Spencer deeply and has no problem holding his hand or even kissing him in public, Joel has always had a tendency to shy away from any display that might suggest to an outsider what he and Spencer are like when they're together in private. He's not embarrassed, he's not ashamed of being with him or having people see them, but what they share is special. It's only for the two of them. He likes that no one else knows what they're live when they're alone together, but here in New York is matters a little less. Here everyone a stranger and knowing they're not going to see any of them ever again makes it easier for Joel to grin into the kiss. It doesn't matter if anyone knows what they're like together in New York because once they're home, they can take it with them and make it private again.

"That doesn't really surprise me," he says when they part, his cheeks a little red, but his smile firmly in place. He imagines newlyweds have a certain look about them, people who are excited to see each other, who feel like it's been forever since they've last seen each other when it's really only been a few hours. When he thinks of how people look when they're on their honeymoon, he thinks of how he looks at Spencer, how he knows he's always going to look at Spencer no matter how long they're together. There's nothing in this world, no outside influence, no external factor, not even time that's going to change how much he loves his husband. "I plan on looking at you like a newlywed for the rest of my life, so I'm glad to hear it's working for me so far."

He would have thought he'd run out of toasts after the first shot, but he lifts his glass and touches it to Spencer's before he says, "To that, I suppose." To looking at Spencer like he'll never look at another person for the rest of his life. To loving him like he'll never love anyone else, like he never has, to other people noticing it even if it causes the both of them to flush. He's proud to have the sort of love people look at as something special, as something out of the ordinary. It's not the sort of thing he's ever going to be prone to shoving in someone else's face, it's something he likes to think of as special, too, something to be treated with respect, but he is proud of it. And he thinks he and Spencer are the kind of people who'll be able to hang onto it. It's not just luck that's brought them here. They've had to work to find each other, they've had their struggles, and he won't take any of that granted for a moment.

That's a toast he can make with conviction. One he can be especially pleased of and he grins at Spencer once more before he tips the shot glass back and drinks his whiskey. The burn is brief and pleasant, warming his throat and then his belly. It takes a second, but he feels the rush to his head just a moment later, a short moment of dizziness before everything seems just a little fuzzier. Given how many people are in the bar, it's probably best for all involved if Joel's thinking is a little fuzzier than usual, if only because he might not be quite so abrasive if anyone approaches them. And if the rest of the tour has been anything to go by, he knows it's going to happen again.

At this bar, though, it seems as if most people are caught up in listening to their guide speak and their own drinks and Joel wonders if they're all just getting drunk enough that they're distracted by the people they've come with. He knows that's the case with himself, that every time he gets a little more alcohol in him, the more he just wants to take Spencer back to the apartment and forget the rest of the tour. This is what they're here for, though, and as they're gathered together and ushered onto the fourth bar, he thinks he can stand to get through the rest before he makes Spencer walk back with him to the apartment so they can have a little time alone.

Of course, they have four more shots to go, so that conviction might not last.

"I like this one," he says as they arrive at the next bar, looking up at it. There's nothing out of the ordinary about it, but there's just something he really does like. Something that seems familiar in a way, though that's impossible. He's never been to New York before, he doesn't spend much time in bars at home, and it's only after looking at it for a moment that he makes the connection and then he laughs softly. "There was this bar in Shediac that I used to pass on the way to school," he tells Spencer. "It looked just like this."

It surprises Spencer a little to hear Joel speak of Shediac so casually. They don't keep much hidden from each other, at least not on purpose, but as little as Spencer talks about his life before his family had been killed, he would say that Joel talks about his life in Shediac even less. Nobody could blame either of them, he supposes, memories of a life they can never have back and is forever tarnished by one event that had changed everything aren't often appropriate for table talk; but there's something really nice about hearing Joel remember that bar back in his hometown, something good that doesn't have to do with dark magic or ex-girlfriends dying or people running the Bakers out of town. It makes Spencer bring Joel's hands to his lips, a gentle kiss pressed over each knuckle, and he's quite for a moment just so Joel can hold onto that memory for a little longer. Something good, he thinks, that's what this entire trip is meant to be.

"Maybe we can visit it together one day," he says softly, a mere suggestion, nothing meant to inspire actual plans if Joel would even want to go through with them. "If you ever wanted to visit your parents out in Canada with the baby instead of the other way around, you know?"

He wonders if anyone would still recognize Joel, if there are people there who still believe he'd killed Amy Fuller just like there are those who believed Spencer had killed his mother and brother. Then again, maybe the town is full of people who would take one look at Joel and want to apologize for thinking even for a second that he'd done it in the first place. Spencer imagines the officers at the SCPD are feeling terribly foolish for thinking Joel had been involved with his own disappearance. It angers him, that defensive instinct flaring even now at the thought that anyone could even know of them and believe Joel could ever want to hurt him. There's nobody in this world Spencer could ever trust more than his husband, than the one man who has never shown him any judgment for the things he's said or done because in so many cases, Joel would have said or done the very same thing.

But all of this is exactly what he shouldn't be lingering on right now, not when they're supposed to be enjoying themselves, and Spencer is. He's not surprised about that, considering he's been excited about doing this tour from the start, but he'd certainly worried that he wouldn't be able to break himself from the dark places in his mind as easily as he'd like; seeing Joel's smile, though, returning an affectionate one of his own, makes Spencer more than willing to put it all aside. They're about to be on shot four, which doesn't sound like much but will probably feel like it quite quickly, and he has a brief flash of doubt that they'll be able to make it through this whole thing without wanting to ditch the crowd and simply return to the apartment.

"Should we take bets now?" he asks with a short laugh, nodding his thanks at Casey for holding the door open. "Are we going to last for the final three?" He lowers his voice--as much as he isn't at all adverse to people looking at them and knowing how much they love each other, so much is still only meant to be between them--and leans closer toward Joel's ear, his smile brushing against the soft bit of skin that's exposed just under his husband's lobe. "Because I don't need whiskey to want you naked, but I do suspect it will make me significantly less patient about getting you there."

He knows that's unfair, the satisfied grin on his face as he pulls away to greet the bartender is enough evidence of just how unfair he knows it is, but it's not as if either of them aren't used to the other saying things like that. Granted, Spencer is usually the instigator, especially in public; but that hardly matters. In the end, the result is the same--more than good enough for both of them, Spencer would imagine.

Joel thinks about that sometimes. About going back to the place he had, until Spencer, still thought of as home in some strange, abstract way, simply because Siren Cove had never really been home to him. A comfort, yes. A place to hide, most certainly, but it had never been home in the way Shediac had. From the time he'd moved there, he had been an outsider, confused and scared, and he had spent years hiding who he was from nearly everyone he met. Siren Cove had protected him when he had most needed it, but it's also a place where Joel had lied about the very thing that makes him who he is to nearly every person he had ever known for over ten years. It hadn't really been home until Spencer had come into his life and become everything Joel needed most, but Shediac certainly hadn't been home either. For a long time, he realizes now, he'd been very lost.

Now and then he thinks about going back there and seeing what's left of the place he'd grown up. A new family probably lives there now, the town has probably long forgotten the Bakers ever lived there, and Joel thinks he would prefer it that way. He'd like to be able to walk through that town and look at the ridiculous giant lobster with Spencer without having to worry that someone might see him, shout his name and chase him right back out of town again. One day he thinks he'd like to return to that cliff where Amy died, where the demon that had followed him for ten years had first gotten its claws into him. It feels like he needs to eventually for the entire circle to be complete.

But not yet. They have far more important things to do, more important things to concern themselves with and Joel only nods in response, then presses a kiss to Spencer's temple. It's enough of an answer, he thinks, because Spencer understands him no matter what he says or does. He doesn't have to speak for his husband to know what he's saying, just one more in a very long line of things Joel loves about this man he's with.

He's about to respond verbally, about to say something about how it much be nice to show Spencer where he grew up when he leans in and says that about wanting to get Joel naked and as always seems to happen, all the words dry up on his tongue. All he manages is a choked off groan and he turns to look at Spencer, his eyes narrowed playfully. The bartender is looking at them expectantly and he's torn between wanting to just casually order their drinks, as if what Spencer has said has barely registered at all, and saying something perfectly lewd in return, right in front of the bartender. That's sure to throw Spencer off, but Joel isn't quite sure he's drunk enough to be capable of that.

The next bar. One more shot in him and he's going to do something to knock Spencer's socks off at the next bar. He's decided it now.

After ordering their shots and being granted a little bit of privacy before the bartender returns, Joel looks at Spencer very seriously, though there's a smile that twitches at the corners of his mouth. "You don't think I can resist you through the entirety of this tour?" he asks, which is a silly question given they both know the answer is that he absolutely can't. Not if Spencer were to really pull out all his tricks. The thought of trying, though, being reduced to a whimpering mess in public because of the things his husband is whispering to him actually sounds kind of fun.

Edited 2015-06-17 15:14 (UTC)

"I think that you can very valiantly try," Spencer answers, pressing his lips together for a moment so the laugh bubbling his in his throat is given no means of escape. He's quicker to laugh with a few shots in him, though that's also something about himself he can attribute to Joel now. Stone-faced or with a grimace, that's how people had often been able to find him unless they'd asked him about a certain book or for recommendations at the library. There hadn't been much to smile about after his family had been killed, after all, but Joel had turned his entire world upside down.

Had the Hydra not come through the town, they might not be sitting here together right now, and Spencer would prefer to believe that's not true, that they would have found their way regardless, but that would mean a year of different experiences. Maybe they'd have been better, maybe worse, but the life that he and Joel have built together had taken a great deal of care and hadn't been without struggle. The very reason they can share this vacation without another care in the world is because of what's been done to them, of what they've had to suffer, but every obstacle has only ever made them stronger. It's love that had defeated the demon, love that will always help them to overcome anything that gets in their way, and Spencer takes great comfort in that.

"Actually," he continues, resting his hand just a bit higher than might be appropriate on Joel's thigh, "I'm more worried about myself. The idea of you undressing me, kissing me, laying me down on that bed that doesn't belong to us and fucking me until I'm so out of my mind I don't know which way's up anymore?" He lifts his chin up, swirling his whiskey in his shot glass with a seductive smirk. "Well, I think it all sounds very nice, doesn't it?"

He's getting bolder, which is the most immediate sign that the alcohol is starting to affect him. It isn't as if he doesn't say these sorts of things to Joel on a regular basis but usually, they're out of earshot of anyone who might be close enough to hear him. In fairness, the bar is loud, there's a great deal of chatter around them, and nobody seems to be paying all too much attention to the supposed newlyweds, but Spencer fully anticipates that by the time they get to the next bar, his inhibitions will be even lower than it already is.

Spencer glances around while he can still manage to care about the show of propriety, turning back to Joel when he's satisfied that nobody is listening. He isn't actively trying to get them out of finishing the tour, he's very much enjoying himself, and he knows Joel is, too; but they haven't been intimate since before Roman had taken him and Davin, and Spencer knows that he's still bruised and battered but it's getting to the point that it looks far worse than it really is and frankly, he's tired of waiting. He wants to feel his husband's cock filling him again, it's something he misses, something he craves.

But he can be patient. At least, he can be if Joel can.

"Do you think the next place will sell popsicles?" he asks, blinking his eyes innocently before clinking his glass against Joel's. "Cheers."

"Spencer," Joel manages to groan just as someone else from the tour sidles up alongside the bar and shoots them an amused glance. It's Shelly's husband, he realizes, and he can't for the life of him remember the man's name, but Joel isn't sure if that's due to the fact that he'd been awfully nervous when confronted with Shelly and her seemingly endless energy or if he's just that drunk and distracted by Spencer at this point. Either one is entirely possible, but he doesn't know if he's supposed to speak to the man or if he's just here to get drinks for himself and his wife.

"Trouble in paradise?" Shelly's husband says and Joel supposes to someone listening from the outside, the way he's just said his husband's name might seem genuinely disgruntled instead of mostly amused and almost entirely turned on. He's still trying to remember the man's name and so he gives himself a moment, knocks back his shot, and realizes it hasn't helped at all. If anything, it's made it worse, because now he's most certainly drunk -- the shot can't kick in that quickly, he thinks, he must have been drunk before -- and that's not going to help when it comes to remembering someone's name.

He plans on say something smooth. Some joke about how Spencer is a terrible husband or something that puts down the idea of trouble in paradise right off the bat. He's going to open his mouth and it's just going to come out, sounding completely spontaneous, but brilliant all the same. Somehow Joel genuinely thinks this is going to happen and forgets his tendency to stutter and stammer when he's nervous. The alcohol should be making him less nervous, it should be ridding him of his inhibitions, but that only seems to work with Spencer. With a stranger it's making everything ten times worse, but he still expects himself to be able to say something intelligent.

Instead, when he opens his mouth, all that comes out is, "I forgot your n-name, Shelly's husband."

Shelly's husband, at the very least, has the decency to laugh. He leans his elbows on the bar and Joel is satisfied to see that he, too, is looking a little unsteady on his feet. That makes sense, he figures, since they've all had four drinks by now. Or maybe five. He can't remember which bar they're on and before Shelly's husband can answer, Joel looks back at Spencer.

"Is this bar number five?" he asks.

Shelly's husband laughs again. "Four," he says. "Landon and it's bar number four." Then he pauses, frowning a little. "Or maybe it's number five."

And since he doesn't seem to know either, Joel looks steadily at Spencer. "What number?" he asks.

Joel asks that--what number?--and for a moment, Spencer can't even bring himself to answer because it's all he can do just to gaze at his husband with an expression that he sure reads as nothing but purely loving. His husband is awfully adorable when he's had a few drinks in him, not that he isn't adorable all the time, but Spencer always finds it rather amusing when Joel has enough to tip him over the edge of a good buzz. As for himself, he's definitely going to be bordering on seeing double by the time they get to the next bar, but Spencer thinks he's managing to keep that fact respectably well-hidden. Or maybe his cheeks are flaming red and giving him away entirely, which is certainly possible because this bar does seem awfully hot.

"Number four, my love," Spencer finally answers, reaching out to take one of Joel's hands in his and rolling his eyes fondly before shifting his gaze to Landon. Admittedly, it takes him longer than he would have liked to settle on the other man's face, and Spencer has to squint at his target just to make sure he's the right one, as if another person could have come to take his place in the span of a millisecond and alright, perhaps it is fairly obvious that he's approaching drunk.

"That means there's three left," Landon says, rubbing at the back of his neck as he shakes his head, looking a bit intimidated by the prospect of it, and Spencer can't say that he doesn't relate. Granted, none of them are required to drink if they no longer wish to but then again, that would be defeating the entire purpose of the tour--and the goal he and Joel have set for themselves, even if neither of them would be particularly upset if they can't complete it, particularly if it means they'll just have ended up falling into bed with each other back at the apartment.

"Three left," Spencer confirms with a nod, taking a deep breath before swallowing the shot, and it goes down far more smoothly than it probably should have. "I barely even feel the burn anymore, that's... good?" He narrows his eyes, nodding to himself. "Yes, it's good." He looks back up at Landon. "Where's your wife?"

"Oh, Shell's around here terrorizing someone," Landon answers, casually waving a hand in some direction or another with a wide smile.

He uses that word, says that Shelly is terrorizing people, but Spencer can hear the affection in his tone and more than that, he can see it in his eyes. It's the same way that he speaks of Joel, he's very well aware of this, and he's never tried to hide it because there's no sense in that. There's nothing he's prouder of when it comes to the things he's done in life than marrying Joel, than being deemed worthy of this man's love and a promise of forever, and he gets the sense that Landon feels the same way about his life. Spencer's pleased for them because he hasn't met very many other couples who seem to share what he and Joel do, and he doesn't think that any two couples are alike--frankly, he doesn't think anyone could love each other more than he and Joel do but then again, he's pretty majorly biased--but so many of the friends they have in Siren Cove still seem to be searching for that something special. It isn't in the cards for everyone, some people don't even want it, and he has no judgment for any of that; he just knows that he'd gotten lucky. He'd gotten Joel.

"She's very spirited," Spencer says, and he doesn't know why he says it, Landon obviously knows what his wife is like, but anyway, it's already been said so he can hardly take it back.

"That's definitely a word for what she is," Landon answers with a laugh. He gestures then toward Spencer's face, toward what Spencer assumes are the bruises. "She wanted me to casually ask where you got mugged so we can avoid it, but I mean, is there really a casual way to ask something like that? I keep telling her there's nothing to worry about, but she gets stuck on something, she doesn't let go."

Spencer brushes his fingers over the bruise against his cheek, and it doesn't hurt much anymore unless he pushes hard on it but even when he does, he barely feels it. He has the alcohol to thank for that, he supposes. "It didn't happen here," he admits, "so you can tell her you were right. Nothing to worry about." Landon looks slightly apologetic about bringing it up at all, but Spencer tries to brush away anything Landon feels that might resemble guilt with a smile, a genuine smile because what had happened to him can't be undone, but he's healing.

Here in New York with his gorgeous, drunk husband, he's healing.

"Round up your tabs, everyone," Casey calls out behind them, "we're going to be gearing up to the next one soon. At this point, I would recommend checklisting your phones, wallets, keys, and most importantly, your inhibitions. Wouldn't want you to leave any of those behind."

"Holy shit," Joel says when Spencer tells him it's only bar number four, then blinks in surprise at himself. He's not especially prone to cursing outside their bedroom and on the rare occasions he does it where people can hear, there's usually a better reason than being surprised by the fact that he's only had four shots so far. He feels far more drunk than that, given that he's swearing in public without much thought as to what anyone thinks. Belatedly he looks around, takes in Spencer's expression -- he doesn't seem particularly bothered, more amused than anything -- and then Landon's -- he hasn't reacted at all -- then decides it's not such a big deal. People have said far worse in this bar, he's sure of it. He's just not usually the one doing the cursing in public. When he looks at Spencer, he's fairly certain his husband is a little drunk, too, but he seems to be doing a better job of holding his liquor.

But then he's talking about barely feeling the burn anymore and Joel has to press the back of his free hand against his lips to keep himself from laughing. There's nothing and no one in this world he loves as much as he loves Spencer and seeing his husband like this, smiling and happy, especially so soon after the awful things he's been through, it makes Joel happier than he thinks he'd be able to say even if he were sober. He knows this trip isn't going to fix everything. He knows only time can help Spencer heal, but he's going to be there for every step, he'll be there every single day, and he knows this trip was a good idea. They both need it, but Spencer needs it even more, and Joel knows he's not responsible, he didn't give him this trip, but he's still glad they've done this.

"Spencer always leaves his inhibitions behind," Joel mutters as they file out of the bar and back into the sunlight. It's getting later in the afternoon, edging toward the evening, but it's still bright and warm, and he squints against the sun. He's spoken only loud enough for Spencer to see and even though he's squinting, he's also grinning, quite pleased with himself and his comments. At the same time, though, he's doing as Casey suggested and is checking his pockets for his wallet and his phone and the keys to the apartment where they're staying. Everything is still in place, though, and he slips his hand into Spencer's, smiling over at him happily.

"If I get three more drinks in me, I'm bound to leave my inhibitions somewhere, too," he adds, his voice more cheerful than it usually is, especially when it comes to discussing something that he would normally consider very private. Given that he feels like he's mere moments away from dragging Spencer into an alley and pinning him against a wall so they can make out just a little bit. No matter how drunk he is, he's not quite that drunk, though, and while he has no problem with a certain level of affection in public, he much prefers to keep their private life very private.

The walk to the bar does him good and by the time they're there, he feels a little more clear headed. Which he knows he's going to destroy right away by taking another shot. He likes this bar, too. It's dark and quiet and everyone seems content to talk in soft murmurs to maintain the atmosphere. Even Shelly, who hadn't seemed capable of speaking quietly when Joel had first met her. She's with her husband now, though, and Joel knows that can change a person. He's always been different with Spencer, he's always been a little more open, more prone to sharing his feelings and being honest instead of just shutting down and maintaining a severe exterior. Spencer's done that to him right from the start and apparently he isn't as clear headed or sober as he thought, not when he leans against Spencer at the bar and slips his hand into the back pocket of Spencer's jeans.

"I like you," he says after he's ordered their shots. He's smiling again, his face a little sore from it. "I like you a lot. And I love you, but I think liking you is important, too. And I like you."

It's been quite some time since either of them have been truly and properly drunk together, but Spencer hasn't forgotten how utterly adorable Joel can be with a bit too much whiskey in him. The sudden warmth of Joel's hand slipping into his back pocket still manages to surprise him, though he doesn't try to pull away from the touch. For the most part, they tend to be very quiet about what they do behind closed doors, and he knows that they'd raise the eyebrows of a great deal of people--even the ones on this tour with them--if it were ever to be revealed that as often as he can, Spencer finds it very pleasurable to take his husband's cock deep into his throat or spread his legs so Joel can fuck him into the mattress, two things he'd actually like to have accomplished by the end of this evening; but in some cases, exceptions can be made.

He can't deny that he likes it when Joel gets a bit handsy with him in public, if only because it serves as proof to everyone else that Spencer belongs him to him, that every last part of him will only ever be for this one man, as if the rings on their finger would be enough to show that. Sometimes it simply isn't, there are still customers who walk into the store for the sole purpose, Spencer suspects, of flirting with Joel, and it's not that he's necessarily jealous about seeing that happen but then again, he doesn't suppose most people like to see someone bat their lashes at their spouses. Joel has said it to him, too, that people will pass them by on the street and rake their eyes over him, which Spencer generally doesn't notice.

At the end of the day, though, Spencer takes pride in knowing that he's the one Joel has chosen. There are people who envy him, he's sure of it, but none of them can get under his skin because the most important thing is that his husband loves him. And likes him, apparently.

He inches closer to his husband so he can wrap an arm around Joel's waist, fingers curving against his hip as Spencer's lips curve into an affectionate smile. "Lucky me," he answers, pressing a kiss to Joel's cheek just as the bartender drops their shots off for them. He nudges one of the glasses toward Joel before picking one up for himself, clearing his throat and holding it in front of himself to study for a moment.

"To us," he finally says, and he knows it's not enough but it's a start. Joel has been taking charge of the customary cheers at each bar so far, but Spencer thinks he has something this time. "To liking each other and loving each other every day since we've met and every day from now. I will always love you, I will always like you, and I will always be yours."

He clinks his glass against Joel's before throwing his head back to swallow his shot, smacking his lips once he's done and setting the glass back down on the countertop as he licks his lips, eyes darting from Joel to the glass to the bartender and back. There are only a couple more shots to go after this, he's sure he can do it, but this had been a particularly strong shot of whiskey, and Spencer can't help but feel the slightest bit concerned that they won't make it out of the last bar without Joel having to carry him bridal-style out of the next one.

"I will also always want you to touch me like this because in all honesty," he adds with a mischievous grin, "you're going to find it about a whole fraction's worth easier to turn me on in a few seconds flat."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject