"If you're sober, then I'm Siren Cove's leading social butterfly," Joel answers, managing to butcher both the name of their town and the word butterfly with his slurring, but he doesn't think anyone notices. Or if anyone does notice, they're too drunk to care, and really the only anyone he cares about anyway is the one in front of him and if Spencer notices that he's slurring, Joel is just going to point out that he's slurring, too. He genuinely can't remember the number of shots they've had at this point, but he knows it's a lot and he knows it's been enough to get them both drunk and he knows there's still one more yet to go before he's allowed to drag his husband back to the apartment they're currently sharing. And as it stands right now, he thinks it's highly unfair that the night has to end at all, but at the same time he does very much want to get Spencer somewhere private, because he's certain people will look down on him pulling his husband into one of the booths so he can start to strip him down.
That's just not how propriety works and while Joel generally doesn't care how others see him, he does care about staying out of jail, especially given how often they've both been arrested. For stupid, incorrect charges, of course, but if he starts to take Spencer's clothes off in public and they're arrested for public indecency, it won't actually be an incorrect charge for the first time in their lives, and they might very well end up having to pay a hefty fine. With a baby on the way, that's a bad idea, which is exactly the length route Joel's mind takes when trying to decide if undressing his husband in public is a good idea or not. (He decides on not, for all those reasons, and because he doesn't want anyone else ever looking at Spencer the way he gets to.)
"Shh," he says, pressing one of his fingers against Spencer's lips as if he's said anything out loud. It takes Joel a second to realize he hasn't, that he's shushing his husband for nothing, and he laughs at himself, dropping his hand. "I was thinking things and I thought you were saying them and I thought they were things you probably shouldn't be saying out loud if you expect me to be able to get through one more walk and one more bar and one more shot before I drag you back to the apartment. You do that, you know. You say things that make it very difficult for me to get any work done and I like it very much, so please don't ever stop. Not even when I shush you for saying things you haven't even said."
He's talking far more than he usually does in public. At home with Spencer or at the store when they're alone together it's different. He can always find something to say then, some interesting fact he's read or some story he'd thought Spencer might like, but in public he's always been much more quiet. With other people around, even if his husband is by his side, Joel prefers to keep his speaking to a minimum, but now that he's had this much to drink he can't even begin to imagine why he doesn't want to talk to other people most of the time. Other people are lovely. Spencer was other people at one point and if Joel hadn't talked to him they wouldn't be here now and they wouldn't be married or in love or waiting for their baby.
"You know what would be terrible?" he asks, his words still slurring as he looks at Spencer again. "It would be terrible if I had never, ever talked to you. That would be so awful and I would be so sad. I'd be a sad, lonely man, sad and alone in my store forever without you and I don't like that at all."
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That's just not how propriety works and while Joel generally doesn't care how others see him, he does care about staying out of jail, especially given how often they've both been arrested. For stupid, incorrect charges, of course, but if he starts to take Spencer's clothes off in public and they're arrested for public indecency, it won't actually be an incorrect charge for the first time in their lives, and they might very well end up having to pay a hefty fine. With a baby on the way, that's a bad idea, which is exactly the length route Joel's mind takes when trying to decide if undressing his husband in public is a good idea or not. (He decides on not, for all those reasons, and because he doesn't want anyone else ever looking at Spencer the way he gets to.)
"Shh," he says, pressing one of his fingers against Spencer's lips as if he's said anything out loud. It takes Joel a second to realize he hasn't, that he's shushing his husband for nothing, and he laughs at himself, dropping his hand. "I was thinking things and I thought you were saying them and I thought they were things you probably shouldn't be saying out loud if you expect me to be able to get through one more walk and one more bar and one more shot before I drag you back to the apartment. You do that, you know. You say things that make it very difficult for me to get any work done and I like it very much, so please don't ever stop. Not even when I shush you for saying things you haven't even said."
He's talking far more than he usually does in public. At home with Spencer or at the store when they're alone together it's different. He can always find something to say then, some interesting fact he's read or some story he'd thought Spencer might like, but in public he's always been much more quiet. With other people around, even if his husband is by his side, Joel prefers to keep his speaking to a minimum, but now that he's had this much to drink he can't even begin to imagine why he doesn't want to talk to other people most of the time. Other people are lovely. Spencer was other people at one point and if Joel hadn't talked to him they wouldn't be here now and they wouldn't be married or in love or waiting for their baby.
"You know what would be terrible?" he asks, his words still slurring as he looks at Spencer again. "It would be terrible if I had never, ever talked to you. That would be so awful and I would be so sad. I'd be a sad, lonely man, sad and alone in my store forever without you and I don't like that at all."