The trip itself has to end eventually, they're both aware of that, but as Joel wraps his arms around Spencer and pulls him close, he drops a kiss to his shoulder and then whispers against his ear, "It won't." Maybe they can't stay in this apartment forever, maybe they can't stay in New York. They have to go home at the end of this weekend, they have to give back the keys to the apartment and fall back into their lives. There are responsibilities waiting for them, a baby who will soon enter their lives, and Joel doesn't want to do away with any of that, but he also wants Spencer to know that this is never going to end. What they have together, what they are, the way they feel, it will never end. He's sure Spencer knows it already, but being able to say it and mean it more completely than he's ever meant anything before in his life feels incredibly good. There's nothing like this, not at all that compares to the feeling of wrapping his arms around his husband and knowing there's nowhere else in the world either of them would rather be.
Joel leans back against the gentle incline of the tub and he knows he shouldn't be surprised at just how perfect this is for a person to lie in comfortably, but he doesn't think he's ever been in a tub like this before. He hadn't even known they existed and he makes a little mental note to get one like this if they ever feel the need to redo the bathroom. It isn't that he even especially likes being in the bath, but there's nothing he likes quite so much as being able to fully recline and have Spencer lying back against him.
They needed this trip, they needed this night, and Joel closes his eyes, his head still spinning slightly from the alcohol and the heat in the bathroom. He'd read something once about avoiding alcohol when one is in a hot tub, but if they hadn't actually taken heed of that advice while on the cruise, he doesn't imagine them paying attention to it now when they're simply in a warm bubble bath rather than an actual hot tub. Still, the heat is getting to him, making him dizzy in a way he finds entirely delightful and he keeps his eyes closed as he tips his head back and tightens his arms around Spencer. They fit together perfectly, they have right from the beginning, and although there are still times when Joel wishes their first date could have gone like it was supposed to, when it's rare for a week to go by without him feeling a little flash of guilt over the fact that he hadn't just stayed at Spencer's house after they'd been released from the hospital, for the most part he accepts that there's nothing to be done about any of it.
There is never any undoing the past. There's only this, being content and comfortable, having forgiven himself for his part in Spencer's injuries and accepting that this man loves him regardless. There's only going forward, taking care to be exactly the man Spencer deserves now for the rest of his life. Making sure he's safe and loved and never in any danger if Joel is able to prevent it. He tilts his head, nuzzling against Spencer's ear and the side of his neck and then his shoulder before he draws in a deep breath and then lets it out again, completely relaxed, completely satisfied and happier than he's felt in a long time.
A week ago he had been terrified for Spencer, but now they're here. Now they're together and he's going to do everything he can to make sure they stay this way.
"It won't end," he says again, pressing another kiss to Spencer's shoulder. "It won't, because I love you and I'll never stop loving you."
no subject
Joel leans back against the gentle incline of the tub and he knows he shouldn't be surprised at just how perfect this is for a person to lie in comfortably, but he doesn't think he's ever been in a tub like this before. He hadn't even known they existed and he makes a little mental note to get one like this if they ever feel the need to redo the bathroom. It isn't that he even especially likes being in the bath, but there's nothing he likes quite so much as being able to fully recline and have Spencer lying back against him.
They needed this trip, they needed this night, and Joel closes his eyes, his head still spinning slightly from the alcohol and the heat in the bathroom. He'd read something once about avoiding alcohol when one is in a hot tub, but if they hadn't actually taken heed of that advice while on the cruise, he doesn't imagine them paying attention to it now when they're simply in a warm bubble bath rather than an actual hot tub. Still, the heat is getting to him, making him dizzy in a way he finds entirely delightful and he keeps his eyes closed as he tips his head back and tightens his arms around Spencer. They fit together perfectly, they have right from the beginning, and although there are still times when Joel wishes their first date could have gone like it was supposed to, when it's rare for a week to go by without him feeling a little flash of guilt over the fact that he hadn't just stayed at Spencer's house after they'd been released from the hospital, for the most part he accepts that there's nothing to be done about any of it.
There is never any undoing the past. There's only this, being content and comfortable, having forgiven himself for his part in Spencer's injuries and accepting that this man loves him regardless. There's only going forward, taking care to be exactly the man Spencer deserves now for the rest of his life. Making sure he's safe and loved and never in any danger if Joel is able to prevent it. He tilts his head, nuzzling against Spencer's ear and the side of his neck and then his shoulder before he draws in a deep breath and then lets it out again, completely relaxed, completely satisfied and happier than he's felt in a long time.
A week ago he had been terrified for Spencer, but now they're here. Now they're together and he's going to do everything he can to make sure they stay this way.
"It won't end," he says again, pressing another kiss to Spencer's shoulder. "It won't, because I love you and I'll never stop loving you."