"They're okay," he says, following Spencer toward the house on autopilot. Somewhere along the way he had picked the beer bottles and the cooler, but he doesn't remember when he had done it or how he'd gotten off the loveseat. A part of his brain still feels as if it's shut down completely, the part necessary for processing information or understanding the passage of time, because while he seems perfectly capable of following orders -- he turns to go upstairs as soon as Spencer asks him to -- the very thought of trying to come up with what to do on his own is completely beyond him. All he can manage is that same thought over and over again, echoing through his brain as he picks up the bags. They're okay, they're okay, they're okay. Because they have to be. It's only three weeks early, which really isn't much at all, and Erin hadn't sounded the slightest bit early. When they get to the hospital, he'll think to ask her if her other children were early. Maybe it's just very common with her.
But they're okay. They're both going to be just fine, and by the end of this night, they're going to have a baby. Joel's hands close around the straps of the bags he freezes, staring at the state of the nursery. It's done, it's been done for weeks now, but he still finds himself glancing around the room, looking for things that he hasn't completed. There's nothing. Try as he might to find something, there's nothing at all wrong with the room and he lets out a long, shuddering breath as he realizes their baby is going to be sleeping in this room within just a few days. They're going to stand in this very doorway, right where Joel is standing now, and stare at their baby with wonder and love, and he can't wait. He's terrified and he's nervous and he's never been more excited for anything in his entire life.
Sucking in another deep breath, Joel stands straight with the bags in his hands and this time when he looks around the room he's only pleased by what he sees. This is the life he wants. The one he never imagined he might have. This is everything to him, the baby who'll be here soon, the man waiting for him downstairs. The idea of having it all has always been so foreign to Joel, a joke of an idea, something that's simply not possible, but here he is. Truly on the cusp of having everything he's ever wanted, all the things he never thought he would one day be looking forward to.
He turns and heads back down the stairs, trying not to rush too quickly. It wouldn't be very good for them to have to head to the hospital because Joel has taken a spill down the stairs and broken his ankle. When he meets Spencer at the bottom of the stairs he finds he's grinning and a little breathless even though he's just forced himself not to run.
"We've got everything," he says. "We've checked these bags at least a dozen times." And he has his car keys now, his phone in his pocket, his wallet in the other. He takes one of the cardigans from Spencer, then grins at him, wide and unrestrained before he leans in for a quick, hard kiss. "We're going to have a baby."
And it's been true every day of the last eight months, it's been true since the moment they found out Erin was pregnant, but now it's really here. It's happening to them today and nothing has made it this real. Nothing but hearing Erin's voice coming over the phone, telling Joel she was having contractions has made it feel like this, and his hands are shaking a little, his keys jingling, his nerves completely overwhelming. This is the best moment of his life and he knows it's only going to get better.
He gives Huxley's a quick scratch behind his ears before they lock the door and on the way to the car he dictates a text to Charlotte so she'll know to check on the dog once she closes the store. The text he gets in response is just a bunch of monkeys with their mouths covered, which he shows to Spencer as he throws the bags into the back seat of the car. "I think that means she's excited and that she'll feed and walk Huxley for us tonight," he says, still grinning so widely his face sort of hurts. "But I can't be entirely sure."
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But they're okay. They're both going to be just fine, and by the end of this night, they're going to have a baby. Joel's hands close around the straps of the bags he freezes, staring at the state of the nursery. It's done, it's been done for weeks now, but he still finds himself glancing around the room, looking for things that he hasn't completed. There's nothing. Try as he might to find something, there's nothing at all wrong with the room and he lets out a long, shuddering breath as he realizes their baby is going to be sleeping in this room within just a few days. They're going to stand in this very doorway, right where Joel is standing now, and stare at their baby with wonder and love, and he can't wait. He's terrified and he's nervous and he's never been more excited for anything in his entire life.
Sucking in another deep breath, Joel stands straight with the bags in his hands and this time when he looks around the room he's only pleased by what he sees. This is the life he wants. The one he never imagined he might have. This is everything to him, the baby who'll be here soon, the man waiting for him downstairs. The idea of having it all has always been so foreign to Joel, a joke of an idea, something that's simply not possible, but here he is. Truly on the cusp of having everything he's ever wanted, all the things he never thought he would one day be looking forward to.
He turns and heads back down the stairs, trying not to rush too quickly. It wouldn't be very good for them to have to head to the hospital because Joel has taken a spill down the stairs and broken his ankle. When he meets Spencer at the bottom of the stairs he finds he's grinning and a little breathless even though he's just forced himself not to run.
"We've got everything," he says. "We've checked these bags at least a dozen times." And he has his car keys now, his phone in his pocket, his wallet in the other. He takes one of the cardigans from Spencer, then grins at him, wide and unrestrained before he leans in for a quick, hard kiss. "We're going to have a baby."
And it's been true every day of the last eight months, it's been true since the moment they found out Erin was pregnant, but now it's really here. It's happening to them today and nothing has made it this real. Nothing but hearing Erin's voice coming over the phone, telling Joel she was having contractions has made it feel like this, and his hands are shaking a little, his keys jingling, his nerves completely overwhelming. This is the best moment of his life and he knows it's only going to get better.
He gives Huxley's a quick scratch behind his ears before they lock the door and on the way to the car he dictates a text to Charlotte so she'll know to check on the dog once she closes the store. The text he gets in response is just a bunch of monkeys with their mouths covered, which he shows to Spencer as he throws the bags into the back seat of the car. "I think that means she's excited and that she'll feed and walk Huxley for us tonight," he says, still grinning so widely his face sort of hurts. "But I can't be entirely sure."