Joel nods his agreement, knowing Levi is right on all counts. They'd come too close with Mark's hands around Spencer's throat, Joel on the ground with the wind knocked out of him and barely able to move. He feels like all he's done for the past twelve hours is cry and he's too tired and too drunk to fight the few that escape now. All he does is brush his good hand over his eyes, pushing them away.

If Spencer had been killed, Joel doesn't want to think of what he would have done in response. He knows Mark would be dead, certainly. "It's my fault he was there at all," he says tiredly. "I just wanted to... I don't know. I don't know."