[Closed, Spencer]

[just_another]

It's a little embarrassing that they had to get Coop to pick up and put up their tree, but neither of them is in any shape to be carrying anything heavy, not quite yet. Joel's ribs feel significantly better, but there's still pain if he moves too quickly or laughs too sharply. His hand is still in a cast. And although Spencer insists he's fine, Joel doesn't want to run the risk of injuring him further and so he'd enlisted Coop to take care of the tree for them.

It's only when Coop offers to help them hang some mistletoe that Joel chases him out of the house with a promise to talk to him tomorrow. He turns back to Spencer with a bit of a sheepish smile, then shrugs, because at least their tree is in the house and in the stand, all without either of them getting injured further. He can just imagine both of them insisting they're fine, trying to get a tree into the house and having such a hard time with it that all the needles end up on the floor before they even get it in the stand.

"At least now we can just spend the night decorating it instead of fighting to get it standing," he says, leaning close to Spencer and wrapping one arm around him. The house smells of pine and Joel inhales deeply, enjoying the smell, enjoying the memories it brings back. It's a little like being back in Shediac when things had still been good and he finds he really can't wait to see his parents next week.

Comments

[doublethepain]

There's no holding back the whimpers that escape from deep inside his throat as Joel spills his release into Spencer's mouth. He's relentless still with his fingers, curving them and fucking them into his husband as he watches Joel murmur his name, how much he loves him, and Spencer only slows to a stop when he's sure that Joel is finished. He gently pulls his fingers from Joel's body, gripping the base of Joel's cock as he lifts his head up, not wanting to cause any unnecessary twitching or jolting from a sudden lack of contact, and settles himself down beside his husband so he can fall into his warm arms, that embrace that's so comfortable and familiar and strong. "I love you," he echoes, leaning easily into the kiss and dragging his hand tenderly down Joel's side, squeezing at his ass and moaning as his cock reminds him of just how neglected it's been tonight.

It makes no real difference to him, he'll gladly go the rest of the evening with that distinct ache if it means that he's been able to make Joel feel good, but even with that in mind, he finds himself moving his hand between them, fingers wrapping around his cock. He lets out another moan into the kiss as he tugs at himself before lazy stroking over his length and had this been closer to the first time they'd had sex, Spencer might find himself feeling awfully self-conscious about touching himself like this; but as it is, he's already let Joel watch him push his fingers into himself, prepare himself before he'd let his husband fuck him. Compared to that, this is positively tame.

The feel of Joel's fingers threading through his hair does nothing to keep the heat from building within him, and he can feel himself flushing with pleasure starting at his cheeks, down his neck to his chest, and there's only one person who can reduce him to this state. There's only ever going to be one person capable of making Spencer feel like every part of him is fiery with a passion he hadn't known before, and he welcomes it because as much as he hadn't needed it--or hadn't realized he did, at least--this time last year, he knows he could never live without it now. There's a palpable tension between them, and it's not just some of the time, it's all the time, there's never a second of the day that Spencer wouldn't be willing to drop everything just to have his husband's hands explore his body or Joel's lips and teeth leaving marks on his neck or Joel's cock moving so deeply inside him until he thinks he might pass out from how incredible this man knows how to make him feel.

"I love watching you when you come," he murmurs, smiling shyly and glancing up at Joel through his lashes as he continues to pump his own cock through his fist. He's sensitive after waiting so long but it's very much worth it. It's worth having the taste of his husband still strong on his tongue, worth the way Joel's looking at him right now like he's something to be cherished, worth every moment if it means he gets to be right here by his husband's side. "God, baby, you're so beautiful. I'm never going to stop being in awe of you."

[just_another]

"Jesus, Spencer," Joel breathes, his gaze drifting down, watching his husband's cock moving through his own fist and Joel wants to do nothing more than just touch him. His hand slides out of Spencer's hair, down to cup the back of his neck and he ducks his head at the same time, pressing kisses against Spencer's warm skin, his tongue flicking out against the hollow of his throat. He could just watch and he knows that. He could let Spencer continue to stroke himself, he could just hold onto him and help his husband ride out his orgasm, but he doesn't want that. As much as he loves watching, as much as he loves seeing Spencer's cock moving through the circle of his fist, as much as it sends little sparks of pleasure through his body even though he's only just come himself, he wants to do more than that. He wants to take a much more active part in this, even if he can't give Spencer everything he would on a normal day.

"Come up here," he murmurs, managing to get another chest just above Spencer's collarbone before he can't duck down any further without hurting himself. Things like this, they're still a little difficult for him. Spencer has found that confidence he needs to say all sorts of things to Joel, things he never would have expected, but he'd had that almost from the beginning. It had truly surprised Joel at first, but he's loved it right from the start. It's so unexpected, which is part of what makes it such a turn on, knowing there's no one in this town who has any idea the sorts of dirty things that can come out of Spencer's mouth. They're all just for Joel, every last syllable, and he loves it. But although he tries, he knows he isn't very good at it himself. He falters and feels silly. It's the only time he still stutters when he's speaking to Spencer, but he tries and he thinks that's probably more than enough for Spencer.

"I-I want you to... I want you in my mouth," he says and he blushes fiercely, but at least he manages to get the words out with minimal stuttering. "Please, I want to do that for you." And they had done it like that that day on the couch in the bookstore. Joel had tried to be so careful with Spencer that day, afraid he'd thrust too hard and hurt his husband, but it had felt amazing and while he might not be able to do much, he can certainly do that. He can certainly take Spencer into his mouth and let him do whatever he wants with him. There's no way he can tell Spencer just how badly he wants it without blushing further, without stammering and tripping over his words, so he just grabs a pillow from further up the bed and pushes it under his head, then wets his lips and looks at Spencer again.

He loves him so much. That's the one thing that always stands out to him, the one thing he thinks time and time again. He loves Spencer so much more than he had ever realized would be possible. Not a day goes by when it doesn't somehow increase, when Spencer does something that makes Joel smile and makes him realize all over again just how lucky he is and how happy he gets to be for the rest of his life because he gets to spend it with this man. And he'll do anything in his power, anything at all to be able to return even a fraction of that.

[doublethepain]

There's a brief moment of hesitation between considering whether this is going to be okay, whether it'll only end up with Joel in pain, but his husband is so insistent and hearing him say that--I want you in my mouth--sends a shudder through him that only seems to arouse Spencer even more. Joel doesn't need to say the dirty sorts of things Spencer miraculously manages to come up with here and there--'miraculously' because under no other circumstances with no other person would Spencer ever be able to do it, Joel is the only one who's ever brought out that side of him and it has everything to do with how comfortable Spencer is with him. With Joel, just one look is all he needs to bend to his husband's whim, and he knows that for the most part, Joel considers him to be the one who's unofficially in control when they're being intimate but as far as Spencer's concerned, it doesn't need to be one or the other.

They know each other better than anyone else, they trust each other so deeply that they move in harmony in practically everything they do. That's the most important thing to Spencer, that's one of the many things that shows him just how unique their relationship is because he knows that between many other couples, there's an invisible--or sometimes not so invisible--fight for control. Spencer's happy to let Joel do anything he wants to him because there's nothing to worry about, there's no concern that things might go too far or that Joel might want to subject him to something Spencer isn't comfortable with or unwilling to do. The first time he'd bent over the arm of the couch in the bookstore to let Joel fuck him with his tongue had come about because of the porn Joel had found on his computer; but there was no judgment, no shaming, and even though Spencer remembers his cheeks flaming with embarrassment, he hadn't been worried about what Joel might say about it. He needn't have anyway, as his husband had well proved.

Now, Joel's moving to get a good angle beneath him, and Spencer can't deny his husband when he's looking at him like this. Joel wants to do this, wants to take him in his mouth and return the pleasure that Spencer doesn't need returned but will happily take. "You want me?" he asks, pushing himself to his knees as he strokes himself, his eyes momentarily slipping shut as he thinks about what it'll feel like to be enveloped in the warm, wet heat of his husband's mouth. He shivers at the image, one that won't be just in his imagination for very long, as long as he makes absolutely certain that Joel isn't going to strain himself just for Spencer's sake.

"Promise me you're okay," he says, eyes fluttering open as their gazes lock. He knows what it looks like when his husband isn't being entirely forthcoming, though that doesn't happen often between them, and Spencer needs to hear it from Joel's lips before they wrap around his cock. He bites down on the inside of his cheek at the thought and lets out deep exhale before leaning down to press a kiss to Joel's cheek, his temple, his forehead. "I want you so badly, but I need to know that you're okay."

[just_another]

Joel huffs out a laugh at the question, almost rolling his eyes up at Spencer. "I always want you," he answers as if such a thing should be obvious and he thinks it should be. He's spent such a long time on his own and wanting Spencer had come as something of a surprise to him, but now that he's gotten comfortable with it, now that they're here, there's never any question in Joel's mind that he wants Spencer. At any point in time on any day at all, Spencer could turn to him and simply gesture with his head toward a private place and Joel knows he would be more than happy and more than ready to go in an instant. He always wants Spencer, that's the beginning and end of it. He wants Spencer and no one else. And it's so much easier to say than anything else, not because it's more true, but because it could mean almost anything. He's still trying to get comfortable with the more expressive things he might say in bed, but that's easy enough. I want you. It's all he ever wants when they're here. He wants Spencer and he wants to make him happy.

Reaching out with his good hand, he slides his palm up Spencer's thigh and then over the curve of his ass, trying to urge him a little closer. He smiles when Spencer leans down and kisses him, then opens his eyes and looks up at Spencer, his hand still on his ass. He squeezes a little, his smile growing just the slightest bit wicked and he knows he isn't as good at all of this as Spencer is, he knows he doesn't quite achieve it, but he tries.

"I'm okay," he promises, squeezing again, a little harder this time. "I promise, I'm okay. I want this. You... you can't know how badly I want you all the time and I'm okay." If he were to try to get up and press Spencer down on the bed, if he had to support his weight on his arm or try to move around much, then he knows it would hurt, but like this, lying on his back still, Spencer has most of the control and Joel won't have to move as much. He'll be more than okay and he wants this. Wetting his lower lip with the tip of his tongue, he glances down at Spencer's cock and lets out a small, soft groan at the sight of him. It never stops surprising Joel just how beautiful his husband is. Somehow someone this incredible has decided that he wants Joel and he knows how lucky he is, how unlikely it would be with anyone else. But he and Spencer just fit.

"Please," he murmurs, his gaze flicking over Spencer's body, up to meet his. "Please. I want you. Let me do this for you." It's certainly not only for Spencer, not be a long shot, not when he enjoys having Spencer in his mouth so much, but he doesn't want to leave his husband without paying some attention to him in return. That's not what their sex life is about, it isn't that he thinks Spencer expects it, but he wants to do it. It's important that he make Spencer feel as good as Spencer has made him feel. It's important that he remind his husband just how much he loves doing all of this for him. It's as much for him as it is for Spencer.

[doublethepain]

When Joel touches him, it always feels like there are sparks flying between them. He realizes that may very well be true, he's seen it before, the magic sparking at Joel's fingertips when they touch sometimes; but both the truth of it and the cliche aside, Spencer is always reduced to something he'd never thought he'd be before he'd met Joel. It's like he forgets how to think, how to properly form words, sometimes it's even hard for him to catch his breath because Joel makes him feel so many things at once that it's almost overwhelming. Right now for example, with his hand squeezing Spencer's ass and the flicker of his tongue over his bottom lip, Joel is everything. Joel is absolutely everything, there is absolutely nothing else in this world that Spencer could possibly care about right now, and he wants that tongue on his cock more than he can remember how to say.

"Oh, god," he groans, and Joel hasn't even taken him in his mouth yet, this is just what his husband does to him all the time. Spencer would say it's hardly fair if he didn't think he somehow had the exact same effect on Joel, which surprises him to no end once in awhile because he's never really been the object of someone's affection before, much less of someone's sexual attraction. Whatever Darcy had wanted to bed him for, it hadn't been because she'd had feelings for him or because she'd thought they'd have an incredible connection; it'd meant nothing to her, just as it had to Spencer, and he hadn't realized until Joel just how much incredibly good sex could make him feel.

"I'm going to watch you," he says, inching higher until one knee bumps Joel's shoulder, and he hovers over his husband low enough for his cock to brush against Joel's lips. Spencer has to fight with himself not to throw his head back at the slightest touch, he means what he'd said, he needs to watch Joel do this. "And while you're sucking my cock, I'm going to pretend I'm burying myself inside you." His throat feels dry as he says the words, the sorts of words that would never come out of his mouth on a normal day but then again, their days aren't often normal anyway. He rolls his hips, letting out a shuddering gasp at the soft puff of breath he feels at the tip of his cock, and he grasps at the sheets with one hand, trying to keep himself from falling over from coming before Joel can even really touch him.

Joel wants him. For whatever reason, Joel wants him, and Spencer isn't sure he'll ever really be able to understand why but he's not going to stop to fight it. Maybe Spencer is the one who seems to let the dirtier things flow from his mouth, but he'll forever be wrapped around Joel's finger. Anything Joel wants him to do, he'll gladly do it. He reaches out to brush the back of his hand along Joel's jawline, smiling at the graze of his husband's beard before tangling his fingers in Joel's hair. His exceptionally beautiful husband wants him, wants to touch him, wants to make him feel good, and Spencer can't deny Joel that because he knows exactly what it's like to want the same things for his husband. He always will.

[just_another]

Joel groans softly and lets his lips part, lifting his head a little so he can take Spencer into his mouth. This is what he wants, more than anything, and another groan shudders through him, his hand squeezing Spencer's ass again. He'd like to be able to do exactly what Spencer had done for him, but he isn't sure where the lube is and he can't move enough to get it. For now, though, he just kneads the muscles of Spencer's ass, holding onto him, urging him forward. He wants Spencer to thrust deeper into his mouth and he uses his tongue, moving it along the underside of Spencer's cock as he looks up at his husband, enjoying the fact that he can see his face like this, he can see absolutely everything. Looking at Spencer while he comes is Joel's favourite thing in the world, it's better than absolutely everything else and the angle he's at now allows him to see absolutely everything.

He's so gorgeous. Spencer is absolutely, incredibly beautiful and Joel feels like his breath, his words, all his thoughts have been taken away and replaced with Spencer. He always feels like this when they're being intimate, like nothing else will ever matter again, and he hums low in his throat, a desperate sound of approval, of want, and he keeps his good hand on Spencer, holding him tightly, letting him know it's okay. He's okay. He doesn't want his husband to think for a second that he might be hurting him and Joel can feel another little shiver of pleasure rippling through him as he tries to tilt his head, to take Spencer deeper. This feels so good and even though he's just come, even though he knows there's no hope of getting hard again, not this soon, it does feel incredible and there's a line of heat licking through his body. It has everything to do with pleasing Spencer, with making him feel good.

He knows Spencer is worried about hurting him, but nothing hurts right now. Joel is barely aware of his broken ribs at all, he's barely away of his hand. All his focus is narrowed down to Spencer, to this one little point of contact and it's the only thing he wants to think about. Everything else just sort of falls away and he's not surprised by it, not anymore. Spencer has become his everything and he knows the sentiment is more than returned. The two of them have become so devoted to each other and Joel has never felt so loved, he's never trusted someone so completely and he knows he doesn't have to worry about Spencer hurting him because he knows Spencer never would. He just wouldn't.

Sucking harder, Joel groans, his cheeks hollowing and for a second his eyes flutter closed. It feels so good and he relaxes his throat and squeezes Spencer's ass again, trying to tell him that it's okay. That he can thrust deeper, that he can do everything he wants. Joel wants him to, he wants Spencer to fuck his mouth, to use him in every possible way and he wishes once again that he was feeling better, that he could let Spencer just fuck him instead. That nothing hurt and everything was possible because he always just wants to give Spencer the world.

[doublethepain]

Some days, Spencer is hit with the reminder of how long he'd gone without having sex before he'd met Joel. They'd waited what he thinks seems like ages now to have their first time together, and he still thinks back on their time together at the Inn & Lodge fondly, no matter how embarrassed Joel might have been in that moment. He'd understood for the first time then what it would mean to be with someone who truly cared for him, who treated him like he was worthy of the attention, and what's more, Joel didn't only make Spencer feel that way during sex, he makes him feel that way all the time.

They have friends who envy what they have, he knows this, he can see it in when he's having a conversation with someone and his entire face lights up when he sees Joel walk into the room. He sees that flicker in their friends' eyes, the one that only proves to Spencer that this is the kind of relationship that doesn't come along for everyone particularly often. Connections like theirs don't happen every dya, otherwise they'd both be with someone else by now and even that hypothetical thought makes him groan with distress as Joel sucks harder on his cock. His husband might interpret the sound differently, which is fine because Spencer feels the encouraging squeeze of his ass, and he sticks his tongue just slightly in concentration as he slowly thrusts into his husband's mouth.

That hot, warm heat surrounding his cock makes Spencer forget anything he might have been thinking a mere few seconds ago, he's absolutely lost in the sensation of Joel's tongue over his length and what it's like to be in a position like this. He thrusts again, this time a little deeper, his knees already trembling from the pleasure of it all. He'd already been close to coming just from watching Joel ride through his orgasm, Spencer would really have just needed a few more good strokes before spilling into his own hand but this is, of course, undeniably better. This is intimate, this is between them, as it always has been and always will be. Spencer has bared himself to Joel in ways he never thought he would to anyone, has let his guard down more than he even thought he'd know how, and he's so glad that the universe had seen fit to bring him this man.

When he and Joel are making love, Spencer always wishes for it to never end. The world they create for themselves when they're naked together is beyond intimate, beyond private, it almost feels like they've stepped out of reality altogether and to have to return to a world where Joel isn't inside him or vice versa is never something he looks forward to, as silly as it may sound. Even now, with Joel injured but still so willing to give Spencer as much of himself as he can, Spencer feels like there's nothing that could be better than this. Nobody could be having a better night than they are. "Joel," he murmurs, it's all he can say, and he forces himself to focus his blurring vision as he shifts just slightly to steady himself, working to set a rhythm and thrusting at a faster, more even pace into his husband's mouth.

[just_another]

It gives him a bit of a thrill to realize Spencer is completely in control like this. Joel's hand is on his ass, but his other hand is entirely useless, lying beside him on the bed. He can't wrap his fingers around Spencer's cock to help himself along even if he wanted to, so he's left himself entirely at Spencer's mercy and it excites him to realize this. He had no doubt that Spencer will always be careful with him, that he'll always need to know Joel is okay, and maybe that's why he likes it so much, knowing Spencer has the control, knowing he could do anything he wanted and Joel wouldn't be able to stop him and also knowing he'll only ever do things Joel likes, the things Joel wants him to. They're so in sync, so connected that he can't imagine Spencer ever wanting something that Joel didn't also want. It's been this way right from the beginning, from their first few encounters when Joel had been so unbearably nervous that he thought he might shake apart from just touching Spencer's hand. They had both been preparing for this, building up toward something greater and maybe it had been hard at first, but only because they'd never had it before. This is the first time for the both of them. It's the only time. Joel knows there's no one else in the world for him like Spencer, there's no one else who would ever even hope to come close to what they have.

He groans encouragingly, letting the muscles in his jaw and throat relax, letting Spencer thrust deeper into his mouth. Months ago, he never would have imagined himself being good at this, not because he didn't want to, but because he simply had never had the practice. To be fair, Spencer hadn't had the practice either and yet here they both are, with everything they need to make the other feel good and Joel doesn't doubt for a second that Spencer is enjoying everything he's doing. Or, in this case, not doing, as he can't move too much without hurting himself. This is mostly Spencer, just as he'd been thinking earlier, and it surfaces again, a reminder that Spencer is taking him like this, and Joel shivers deeply in pleasure.

For a moment he wishes he could say something, he wishes he could tell Spencer how much he loves him, how much he loves this, but in order to do that he'd have to stop this and he doesn't want that at all. He wants, more than anything, just to make Spencer feel good and that means not stopping. That means closing his eyes and lifting his head a little and taking Spencer deeper into his mouth, using his tongue against the underside of his cock, doing every last thing he's capable of to make his husband feel incredible. Sometimes he feels a little useless without his hand, given that he can't move too quickly without risk of aggravating his ribs, but not now. It doesn't matter that he's injured, it would never matter, Spencer would never make him feel like he's not as useful or that he's a burden to have around and that in turn just makes Joel all the more determined to just let himself heal properly. If it had been anything else, he knows he'd be pushing himself too hard to prove that he's okay, but Spencer gives him all the time and space and understanding he needs.

A little whimper escapes him, something low and helpless, a sound that he hopes communicates just how much he loves this and how much he loves Spencer. He opens his eyes again, looking up at his husband, his hand moving in time with Spencer's thrusts, still holding onto him. He wants him to come and he wants to be able to see it when it happens. He wants to be able to feel the way Spencer's muscles tighten and he wants to see the expressions that flit across his face, the way his features change, the way he looks when he feels that good. It's one of Joel's favourite things in the world, just one more thing about Spencer he knows he'll never be able to do without now that he knows just how good it can be.

[doublethepain]

It wouldn't have taken long to stroke himself to orgasm and frankly, Spencer thinks it's quite a feat that he's lasted this long with Joel's lips and tongue running over the length of his cock. Then again, that's something he thinks a majority of the time that they're having sex, that he can't believe he can keep himself in check with Joel handling him like this for as long as he does because everything his husband does when they're in bed together seems to surpass eroticism. His husband is, hands down, the sexiest man he's ever laid eyes on, there's a reason that Spencer had never been attracted enough to anyone to want to pursue any sort of physical relationship before Joel. What he'd felt when they'd been sitting close enough to each other in the library downstairs, fingers very nearly brushing, had been so foreign, and Spencer hadn't been sure what to do with it.

The days and weeks that had followed had ambushed him with a series of escalating fantasies--Joel cupping his cheek and leaning in for a soft kiss, Joel guiding him until his back hits the wall and threading his fingers through Spencer's hair as he leaves marks on his neck, Joel naked and lowering him onto this very bed to fuck him senseless even though he hadn't even known what it meant to be touched that way yet--but somehow, none of that had made him want to shy away from Joel's company. Even then, before he'd been able to come to terms with what he'd been feeling and allow himself to believe that Joel could feel the same way, he'd preferred to at least see Joel, be around him, than to stay away. He can't fathom it now, spending more than a few hours a day away from this man. They can't be together every second, that's a ridiculous notion, but Spencer's night wouldn't be complete without Joel by his side. His heart wouldn't be whole without Joel there.

At his husband's whimper, Spencer feels that distinct heat rising in his belly, the one that tells him that he's too close now, and he groans as he glides his hand as far down Joel's chest as he can, fingers digging gently into his skin because even in the throes of pleasure, Spencer is still very aware of his husband's comfort, of his physical limits. There's nothing in the world, no amount of pleasure, that would be worth hurting Joel in any way and when Joel opens his eyes to look up at him, Spencer swears he feels his heart skip. Joel's eyes are so beautiful, caught between hazel and honey, and Spencer could get lost in them for hours if given the opportunity. He's so in love, he's dizzy with it, and with their eyes locked, Spencer rolls his hips for one more effective and deep thrust before he feels himself let go. "I'm coming," he gasps, a last-minute warming before Joel is swallowing him down, and Spencer can't imagine anything more incredible than watching his husband take him like this.

By the time he's finished, he's still half-hard and weakly thrusting into his husband's mouth, trying to ride out his orgasm without collapsing onto his husband, and it's with a mild hiss of distress that he slowly pulls out. He falls onto his back with a grunt, cock still incredibly sensitive, and it sends a shiver up his spine as he gropes for Joel's good hand before rolling over onto his side to press a kiss to his husband's shoulder. "You're incredible," he murmurs, inching closer to cup Joel's cheek before letting their lips meet, swirling his tongue around his husband's so he can taste himself, so they can taste each other, and he's quite sure that there couldn't possibly be anything more intimate than what they share together. "You're incredible, and you're mine. God, you're mine." There's no figuring out how this has become his life, but Spencer doesn't care, he's stopped trying. They belong with each other always, plain and simple, and there's nothing that could ever change that.

[just_another]

Joel groans again when he feels the ways Spencer's muscles tighten, the warmth of him suddenly flooding his mouth and he never imagined he'd love this as much as he does, but, as with everything, it's all Spencer. There's nothing in the world they could do together that he wouldn't absolutely love and he moans again, his eyes slipping closed for just a moment as he feels Spencer still slowly thrusting into his mouth. When he pulls back, Joel makes a soft sound of displeasure, then opens his eyes again to look over at Spencer beside him on the bed. He's a lucky man, he knows that, and he also knows he's never going to forget it. It would be impossible to feel anything other than lucky when all he does it turn over in bed and find himself face to face with the most incredible person he's ever met. They're together and they trust each other and he honestly doesn't see any situation that would change what they feel. This is it for Joel, for the rest of his life, this is it, and he's sure Spencer feels the same way. This is where they both belong.

He hums contentedly when Spencer kisses him, wishing his other hand was feeling better, wishing he could raise it and bury his fingers in Spencer's hair and pull him closer, but he knows he'll have to settle for this. And it's really not settling, not by any means. Whenever they're together, Joel feels better than he ever has before. Even if he can't be as active a participant as he'd like because of his injuries, he still feels better and safer and happier here than he does anywhere else. He presses another kiss to Spencer's mouth, then pulls back a little, dropping his head onto the pillow and smiles over at his husband. Their tree is still only half-decorated downstairs, but Joel is more than happy to have come upstairs to spend this time with Spencer instead. They can finish the tree tomorrow, provided they don't get distracted again.

"You're incredible," he answers with a soft laugh and he's never going to get sick of hearing that or saying it. This is the sort of thing he gets to say to Spencer every day for the rest of his life and the very thought makes him smile. He's going to wake up tomorrow and tell Spencer he's incredible. And the day after that and the day after that for the rest of his life. This is exactly what he'd never imagined he wanted. For so long being alone had seemed preferable to being close to anyone, but Spencer had proved him wrong within moments. It shouldn't have been so easy, Joel's sure that nothing is supposed to be this easy, but it had been. He'd known almost from the start.

"This is going to be such a great Christmas," he murmurs, squeezing Spencer's hand gently. He already has some of his gifts picked out, but only Spencer's. He's never been great at picking gifts for other people, he's always been the person to overthink it and worry himself to a point where he ends up putting the gift buying off until it's far too late. With Spencer it's been easy and he knows exactly what he's going to do, but when it comes to everyone else, he's going to need Spencer's help. He's sure the two of them together can come up with something great and he's really looking forward to being able to spend a Christmas like the one he knows they have coming up. He smiles sleepily and tilts his head, pressing a kiss against Spencer's chin. "A really great Christmas."