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[Open - Gathering - Baby Shower]

They're actually having a baby shower.

Joel is fairly certain his mother wouldn't have let them get away without something, even if he had insisted it be small and consist only of family, but for some reason he and Spencer have allowed themselves to be talked into a real shower. With invitations and food and little baby themed games to play. It's sort of strange, looking at it from his position, given that Erin is the one who's going to be giving birth and therefore is the one in the glowing pregnant woman position at this entire gathering.

She'd sweetly agreed to attend and had even whispered to Joel that she would take the brunt of the attention if she could manage it. He had whispered back that he knew they had picked her for a good reason.

But here they are. Several weeks have passed, the invitations have gone out and the decorations have been put up all over Joel and Spencer's living room. He had agreed to lift the enchantments on the house for the extent of the party, which means that anyone can open the door to their guests, they don't all have to be invited in by either Joel or Spencer, and it makes him a little nervous, but he understands the usefulness of others being able to answer the door. At least for today.

It's the decorations that keep getting to him. Sweet little ducks and zebras and monkeys, little jungle animals all over the walls. The bottle and rattle shaped cookies are pretty cute, but those aren't going to be left when the baby gets here. The animal theme, though, is fairly close to the nearly finished nursery Joel has been working on upstairs and he can't help but grin at the decorations.

Spencer, on the other hand, can't stop coming back round to the center of the living room to stare at the enormous sign that's been strung up above a table already stacked with gifts when a majority of their guests haven't even arrived yet. He'd been worried this morning that the day would overwhelm him, that knowing so many people would be coming into their home would be daunting when just a year ago, he'd never even once invited company over before meeting Joel; but so far, he feels calm, in spite of having had to watch Joel remove the enchantments that act as their security on the house. If someone wishes to crash a baby shower--which he doesn't imagine will happen anyway--then they'll have to face not only the wrath of a room that will be filled with witches and sirens, but the wrath of his mother- and sister-in-law, as well. That's not a sight Spencer thinks would be very pretty to witness.

Still, he feels light, perhaps a lingering effect of the having the chance to fall in love with Joel a second time during the spell that had taken over the town. Certainly, a great deal of his contentment has to do with the fact that he won't have to worry about losing his husband in a crowd but even beyond that, he's excited.

So much has changed in the course of the past year and weeks from now, they'll be holding their newborn in their arms for the very first time without another care in the world but for who they've been looking forward to meeting since they'd decided to take this journey together. There's something a bit strange about realizing that it's all coming to a head, that the waiting will soon be over and they'll be fathers at last, but when the first knock on the door comes, Spencer can't help but smile.

[Baby shower for Joel and Spencer's wee one. Erin, their surrogate, is present and is currently 31 weeks pregnant. If you're even a little friendly with either of them, Joel's mother sent an invitation, but the enchantments have been taken off the house for the event and so it's not an impossible party to crash. If anyone wants to crash a baby shower...]

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"You were still my prince," he counters, which is perhaps a silly thing to say but that doesn't make it any less true to him. No, the titles hadn't mattered and no, Spencer couldn't have cared less whether they'd stayed on land instead of venturing back to the water but at the end of all things, he'd just been happy to hvae the chance to be with Joel--again. Sometimes, the realization of just how in love with this man he is still hits him hard enough to stop him in his tracks. He'll be shelving new inventory or re-organizing whatever mess his husband has made in tracking down a book for his customer, and he'll simply forget what he's meant to be doing in favor of looking over his shoulder to set his eyes on his husband.

He can't believe how blind he'd been all these years, blind to how utterly beautiful the quiet bookshop owner he'd never said more than a few words to really is, how utterly kind and smart and gentle; but as he's told himself time and time again, they'd met when it was right. The impact of it, of having his life saved in the midst of a Hydra attack of all things, is something he couldn't forget even if he'd tried and everything else that had followed had led them here. Here, in the safest place he knows in spite of what he's seen and what's been done to him, Spencer has never been happier in his entire life.

"You'll always be Joel to my Spencer," he says softly, resting in his hands on Joel's chest and looking up at his husband through a mess of hair that's gotten so long that it refuses to stay out of his eyes no matter what attempts he makes to change that. He really ought to get it cut, he supposes, but he's not quite willing to give up the way it feels to have Joel's fingers threading through it yet. Maybe when their child starts tugging at it like a playtoy, he'll change his mind but for right now, he's content with every single aspect of his life--something that would seem so unfamiliar if he'd never met Joel.

He takes a step backwards toward the liquor cabinet, lowering his hands to Joel's so he can pull him along, and smiles. "I can't wait to be able to bring the baby here, when he or she is old enough to really appreciate it." The awful memories he has of the library had threatened to overhwelm the good ones for a long while but with Joel's help, Spencer has fought tooth-and-nail not to let that happen. He can be here now without hearing the sound of glass shattering to the ground, without flinching every time someone walks in behind him.

Instead, he thinks of how incredible that first night he'd spent with Joel had been, their legs dangling from the second level as they'd tried to ignore the obvious chemistry between them. He thinks of when Joel had made love to him months later in that same spot, of nights spent sharing glasses of whiskey and reading their books in a comfortable silence, of one of them catching the other staring so fondly before they'd inevitably give in to the mutual desire that always sparks between them and move up to the bedroom.

He wants to make more memories here with their child at their feet. He wants to see the wide-eyed look on his or her face when seeing the shelves of books for that first time, and a quiet sigh escapes him at the thought of curling up with their son or daughter and sharing stories that they both love so much. "We're going to be a family," he murmurs, voice full of wonder as they come to a stop in front of the cabinet. There are tons of people outside wanting to celebrate that very fact with them but in this moment, Spencer is so overcome with this whirlwind of emotions--excitement and fear and anticipation and pure, incomparable joy--that he thinks being alone with Joel is exactly what he'd needed. "A family, Joel, god. It feels like it's been a lifetime since we decided to do this and now it's so close."

Joel finds himself grinning uncontrollably as is so often the case when he's with Spencer. His cheeks actually hurt and he thinks back to a year ago, to the person he was, the world he was living in, the fact that he had no idea this was waiting for him and he doesn't know how he managed to go on for that long in that manner. His social circle had been significantly smaller, he'd barely spoken to anyone at all and days could go by without him doing anything more than speaking to the customers who would come into the store. He didn't laugh, he rarely smiled, and whenever he did want to go out, he would just go to Watersong, the one place in all of the Siren Cove where he knew he would be left alone simply because Lara would make sure no one was bothering him. That's how he had expected his life to go. A world in which he wasn't bothered by anyone was ideal because it meant he didn't have to get close to anyone. He didn't have to talk about his life or all the ways in which he'd failed, the ways in which his parents were disappointed in him. He didn't have to let anyone in or let them see the parts of himself that he was embarrassed by. If he was left alone, then he didn't have to share himself with anyone and for a long time that had just seemed preferable.

He had been so wrong. Maybe he's still relatively reclusive and maybe he doesn't go to parties all that often or spend each and every night out, but things have changed. He's let people in. Not only Spencer, but his friends. He's slowly let them get closer bit by bit, and it hasn't been as easy with anyone as it has with Spencer, but it's still significant. It's a change he'd never expected and it's produced the sort of happiness and contentment he'd never imagined he would ever have. Spencer had opened up an entire world to him, all just by offering him a glass of whiskey.

It feels appropriate that they're here now after all this time. Maybe everything had begun the day the Hydra had come through town, maybe that was the moment that had opened Joel's eyes, but it's here in this library that everything had begun to change. He remembers sitting up on the second level, getting more and more drunk by the second, wanting so badly so just look over at Spencer and study every last curve of his face. He remembers wanting to touch him, wanting to sweep back his hair. More distinctly than anything, he remembers reading his aura and how beautiful it had looked to him, shimmering yellows and sparkling whites and little emotional spikes of energy. When he reads someone, they can't hide anything from him, and Spencer had given himself so willingly over to Joel in that moment that even now it makes his heart feel like it's beating double time in his chest.

"We are," Joel agrees when Spencer says they're going to be a family. He reaches out and sweeps some of Spencer's hair back like he's always loved doing, then threads his fingers through the strands and gives a light, teasing tug. "You're going to be someone's dad. A tiny little baby with the smallest fingers and toes you've ever seen and she's going to look at you and know that no one is ever going to love her the way you do. No one except me."

He's been trying it out lately, referring to their baby as a she or as a he, seeing which one feels right and he still hasn't been able to decide. They both work for their own reasons and he knows he'll be happy either way, he'll be ecstatic to teach a son or a daughter everything he knows from building a bookshelf to baking banana bread. Waiting to find out had been the right choice, he's sure of that, too, but they're coming to a point where Joel is beginning to grow impatient and he knows there's nothing he can do to speed things along, but the following two months seem like an eternity to him. He knows they'll rush by and the day will come and they're feel like they're unprepared, but right at this moment he can't wait for that to happen.

"So pour me a drink," he says. "And we can toast our baby alone in our library while everyone has a party without us." Which is exactly how it's supposed to be.

"She," Spencer echoes, his gaze drifting past Joel to the doorway as he imagines a little girl with dark, bouncy curls bursting into the room with a squeal of delight while they follow after her. It's not the first time Joel has put a gender to their baby, more experimentally than anything else, just to see if he can predict in some way just by feeling it out; but every time Spencer thinks that he's landed on deciding that he thinks a boy is what he really wants, Joel will make a comment about 'her' and all of a sudden, it's like everything he's been thinking of when he thinks of what they'd do with their son, shifts.

The way they're going to choose to raise their child will remain the same regardless of the gender but sometimes, Spencer gets overly excited about the fact that he'll soon be able to introduce their friends and family and customers to their son or daughter.

At thirty, he still feels like they're quite young to be fathers, though his own mother had gotten pregnant with him when she'd been only twenty-five, fresh out of college after several months of being married to his father. He thinks of the way he'd been at twenty-five, far more socially awkward than he is now but at least happy in the sense that he'd still had his family as his best form of company, and Spencer thinks it's laughable to even suggest that he could have been prepared to have a child at that age. The only reason he feels so confident in being able to raise one now is because his husband gives him the strength to believe that he can take care of more than just himself now. The second he'd vowed to love Joel for the rest of their lives, Spencer had also been promising to take care of him and for the most part, he thinks he's done a satisfactory enough job.

He would have taken on the demon himself if allowed, he would take every headache that comes with every premonition, he'd even take the bruises Joel still bears on his knuckles from defending him against Coop's advances under the spell but what's important in the end is that they protect each other. That's how it's been since the beginning, since the first moment they'd met, and Spencer knows his instinct to keep his husband safe will absolutely spread to their child. It already has, that's a part of why they don't want to know the sex in the first place.

He wants to keep their child from learning what it means to have his or her own opinions and judgment and feelings stripped from them just because society deems it necessary for a girl or boy to fit into a certain mold. That's not the world he wants to give to their child, he doesn't want little Dane or Rose to come home wondering why there are other kids at school asking why they have two fathers when they're supposed to have a dad and mom.

Spencer wants to teach them about love at an early age, wants to teach them that sometimes, love can look like different things to different people but what counts is how pure that love is in their hearts. His love for Joel is the purest thing he's ever known, everlasting and Real, and he reaches out to take his husband's hand and places it on his hip where he knows his tattoo is before shifting his body slightly to reach for the cabinet. It's like auto-pilot at this point, he knows exactly what place to grab for their best whiskey, and he easily pours their drink of choice one-handed from the bottle into two glasses. It's only two fingers' worth, they don't want to get drunk at a baby shower, much less their own; but it'll be enough to give them a reason to stay in here for a bit while everybody in the living room starts to wonder where the future fathers are.

"A toast," he says, grabbing both glasses by their rims and holding them out between him and Joel for his husband to take one. "I'm not very good at these, considering I don't often give them. But to our baby. Our beautiful, perfect baby who's already stolen our hearts. Imagine what she'll do when we finally get to meet her." He pauses, narrowing his eyes. "Him. Either way, we'll be the happiest family this town has ever seen."

There's really nothing for Joel to add to that because it says everything and he takes his glass from Spencer, lightly touching the rims together. They make a soft, pleasing clink in the silence of the library and he lifts his glass to his lips, taking a sip of his drink. As always, it burns pleasantly in his throat and down into his chest, warming him through. Glancing down at the glass in his hand, he grins, tightening his grip on Spencer's hip before he tugs him a little closer. They are going to be the happiest family, he's already sure of it. He knows it won't always be easy, he knows there's bound to be complications and bumps in the road, he isn't naive enough to think there won't be difficult days or times when all he wants to do is sit down in a corner with his head in his hands, but he also truly believes that he and Spencer can do anything together. He truly believes he's found the best person in this world to raise a family with, the one who'll make him the happiest, the one who'll work with him, who'll support him, the one person he'll want to support in return. No one has ever understood him or responded to him the way Spencer has and he trusts it to extend to beyond just their relationship. He trusts it to come into play when it comes to their family, their baby, their possible future children. This is where he's meant to be, he has no doubt of that.

With a smile, he takes another sip of his whiskey and then looks at Spencer again. "You know, my favourite memory of the past two weeks is probably going to change regularly, but at this moment it's the memory of seeing your face when you took your first sip of whiskey in the palace library." Looking back at the time he'd spent thinking he was a prince, there really is a great number of good memories and he knows just how lucky they were that their experience hadn't been terrible of traumatic. There are a good number of moments for him to choose from as his favourite. The time they'd spent on the beach together, the way they had exchanged shells on Joel's birthday, the feel of Spencer's lips pressed to his again for what had, at the time, been the first time. But right now he's thinking of the face Spencer had made when trying whiskey, the way his nose had wrinkled, the shudder that had come through him and it makes him smile. A year ago Spencer had brought him into this very room to share a glass of whiskey and maybe it hadn't been quite a year to the day, it isn't an exact anniversary, but he likes the implication of it all the same. A year ago he'd come into this library to share a drink with a man he barely knew at all. And in another world, in another life, he'd brought Spencer into his own library to do the same.

It hadn't been entirely perfect, but for the most part Joel is doing his best not to think about the visitor he and Spencer had that night in the library. He hasn't seen Amy since the night of the cliff, seventeen years old, young and vibrant, and then suddenly just gone. She's still dead, he knows that. Nothing in this world or any other can bring her back without meddling in dark magic and dark forces, but seeing her alive and adult and happy has stirred something in him. Guilt, certainly. Guilt more than anything else. But he remembers how happy he'd been to see her, too, the easy friendship they'd shared, the way in which she had so easily approved of Spencer without saying a word. Amy had been a daredevil, she'd wanted to meddle in dangerous things, but she had been only a teenager and Joel thinks wanting to mess around in things that seem dangerous is likely a trait of many teenagers. She can't be blamed for curiosity. He has to wonder if the woman who had come into the library that night is how Amy would have really turned out. If she would have been as kind and accepting and smart as she'd appeared. He suspects she would have.

They haven't really talked about it because he hasn't been sure what to say and he thinks Spencer is giving him the time and space he needs to deal with whatever it is he needs to deal with. It's just one more thing he loves so desperately about this man in front of him; he understands what Joel needs and how to let him deal with his emotions, he knows when it's right to push him to talk and when it's better to let him come to things on his own, and Joel smiles again, then leans in and presses a soft, warm kiss against Spencer's mouth.

"I'll be happy for the rest of my life so long as I have you and our family," he says. "No matter what else happens, no matter what we face, I know we can do it together." And a year ago he never would have been so free with his trust, he never would have been able to just allow himself to believe something so completely, but it's easy with Spencer. He just trusts him and he has no doubt he always will.

The reminder of his reaction to the whiskey makes him hide his face against Joel's shoulder, muffling his groan even as it turns into a mildly amused laugh. So much of the world had been new to Spencer under the spell and in many ways, it'd been a surprisingly delightful experience to get to have so many firsts again when it'd come to food and drink. His first cupcake, in particular, had been comparable to reaching enlightenment, Spencer is sure of it.

With a shake of his head, he gulps down the rest of his whiskey to prove some point, though he's not certain what that point might be, and tilts his head back just to gaze at his husband for a long moment. He bites down on his lip, internally debating whether or not to do what he's thinking before deciding he absolutely should because right now, everything feels so perfect and right. Spencer takes Joel's hand, tugging him toward the desk that's pushed against the far wall of the library. "I was going to wait until later to give this to you, but I suppose now is as good a time as any," he says, and he knows that sounds awfully suspicious but Spencer doesn't plan on drawing this out for much longer.

With a sheepish smile, he pulls one of the desk drawers open to retreive a frame that he hadn't bothered to wrap because what's in it is very familiar: the shells they'd exchanged in the palace library the evening of Joel's birthday. Spencer remembers never having felt more loved in that moment until they'd finally shared their first kiss in the carriage, and he holds the frame between them now, cheeks flushing even though he knows he has nothing to be embarrassed about, not when he's alone with his husband. "So we never forget," he explains, though he knows either of them ever could. "In this world or any other, we'll always be together. I'll always love you."

He pauses then, a faint smile playing at the corners of his lips. "I had big plans for your birthday, you know," he muses softly, tracing a finger along the outline of the blue shell Joel had given him over the glass. Spencer is being honest, too, he'd made arrangements through Mira to sneak into the planetarium after hours so that he and Joel could share a picnic dinner under the stars without any chance of interruption. "I'll have to make it up to you soon but at least the spell didn't make a mess of everything."

He knows that seeing Amy alive and well again had been a struggle for his husband when they'd come out of the enchantment, of course it had, it'd been something as unexpected as having been raised by a father had been for Spencer; but as with everything else, Joel is right. No matter what this town throws at them, no matter how much of a struggle they go through, they'll be able to get through every last bit of it together.

Edited 2015-05-12 01:00 (UTC)

Joel finishes his drink as well and sets his glass aside before he follows Spencer toward the desk. He has no idea what Spencer is talking about, but when he sees the frame extended between them, he feels his breath catch in his throat. The shells are immediately familiar to him and his mouth twitches up into a small, pleased smile, one that's as relieved as it is happy. Because he's been wondering about the shells, if they had disappeared with the spell or if they'd simply lost them in the shuffle of getting back to reality. He's been thinking of them, of how nervous he'd felt preparing himself to give Spencer the shell he had found on the beach and how good it had been to discover that Spencer had one for him, too. That hadn't been his first promise to Spencer over those two weeks, but it had felt meaningful in a way he hadn't expected. They were exchanging something, they'd given each other a token, and while it hadn't been enough to break the witch's spell on Spencer, it had felt like enough to Joel. It had felt like a promise.

"I've been wondering where these got to," he says, reaching out to touch the frame, to trace the shape of the shells over the glass. He loves the way they look under the glass, the vibrant shell Spencer had given him countered by the cool blue one he'd given Spencer in return. They look right, like they belong there with each other, and he knows that's silly, they're just shells, but that's how he feels about it all the same and if there's one person in the world who won't think it's silly, who'll never make him feel stupid for something like that, it's Spencer. It's why he'd been the one to put them in the frame in the first place. They think so much alike in so many and this, wanting to keep mementos of what's important to them is just one of the ways in which it's most obvious.

"I'll never forget," he says and it isn't that he needed a reminder at all, but having this experience does drive home just how lucky he is. They have a real life together, but the spell has only served to remind them both that maybe they really are meant to be together. Joel keeps trying to deny fate, he keeps pretending he doesn't believe in destiny, but he can't see any other explanation for this. When he looks back at his life and all the things that have happened to him, it feels like he's been slowly making his way to Spencer this whole time. There has to be some reason why they didn't meet sooner, why it was just last year instead of five years ago or ten or the very day Joel came into town with his parents and sister. There has to be a reason for all of it.

"You don't have to make it up to me," he says with a laugh. "I think my birthday this year was actually pretty incredible. I had a party thrown for me in a palace. There was fireworks. I got to spend most of it in the dark library with you. We almost had our second first kiss that night. We exchanged gifts..." He trails off and he's grinning, feeling sort of drunk on Spencer and on their proximity. "It was a good night, Spencer. The best birthday I've ever had."

Then he rolls one shoulder and says, "But if you feel like you really have to, then I'm certainly not going to stop you." If only because he rather likes the sound of big plans. "But in the meantime, where do you think we should hang this?"

After a moment of consideration, Spencer nods, deciding that yes, Joel's birthday had been quite the spectacle and an enjoyable one, at that, if not a bit stressful at certain times. It'd been hard to ignore the fireworks, of course, though he'd been far too involved in coming so close to that second first kiss to pay a great deal of mind to them when they'd started--and when Prince Joel's mother had asked him the next day what he'd thought of them, Spencer could only blink dumbly before shrugging a shoulder and nodding emphatically before rushing off to hide the way his entire face and neck had started to flush. Overall, Spencer supposes it hadn't been a terrible way for a man to celebrate his thirtieth.

It's maybe against his better judgment, but he's inclined to poor them both another glass of whiskey because when Joel looks at him like that in here, it becomes undeniably difficult to keep himself from turning back to the very thing that had really brought them together in the first place. It's their drink, he'll always see it that way, and even when Joel had invited him over to the apartment for the first time, whiskey had been a staple of the meeting. "Best birthday, hmm?" He smiles, nudging his nose against Joel's before stealing another kiss and plucking his husband's glass out of his hand so he can return to the liquor cabinet for a refill. "That makes two of us, then."

Regardless of whether Joel had enjoyed the birthday he'd gotten, though, Spencer does plan on fulfilling their stolen date. Maybe it won't be this weekend or the next, maybe it won't even be for months because once the baby arrives, there won't be much time to spend completely alone together; but Spencer will not give that idea up, he's going to get Joel in that planetarium even if it means he has to hold out for another favor from Mira until his husband's thirty-first rolls around.

At the question of where to put the frame, Spencer pauses mid-pour, tilting his head thoughtfully. "Actually, I was thinking we might be able to fit it somewhere on one of the nursery walls," he says, trying to keep his tone neutral even though he suspects Joel will detect the hint of hopefulness in it. Spencer doesn't think Joel would deny him, especially not over something like this, but still, he feels the need to explain why he'd make the suggestion. "I just-- I like the idea of having it there, something that represents how much we love each other because that love is going to extend to our baby. When she gets older, when she's old enough to know and understand what the shells mean, maybe it'll reminder her that even when things get hard, we'll always be there for her. Just like we'll always be here for each other."

Anyone else might find it a bit too sappy, but Spencer thinks Joel will understand. There are so many things that symbolize their relationship, from The Once and Future King to the red thread and now, to these shells, and Spencer wants to be able to share at least one of those things with their child. One day, everything in this house is going to belong to her, and Spencer doesn't want to just leave behind a materialistic legacy; he wants to leave behind something that matters, that their child--maybe even their children--can look back on and now without a shadow of a doubt that their fathers had never once faltered in their love.

It doesn't surprise Joel at all to hear Spencer suggest they hang the shells in the baby's room and he finds himself grinning, because he's been thinking the same thing. In fact, he's already going through the nursery in his head, trying to establish the best place for the frame and he thinks there's several options. They'll have to go upstairs with the frame and hold it up against the wall to really decide, but he very much likes the idea of it being there on their baby's wall, a reminder every single day of how much they love each other, a reminder that not even a curse cast over the entire town could take that away from them. A reminder of this family they've made and how important it is.

"I can already think of a few places where it might look good," he says, setting the frame aside so he can take his fresh drink from Spencer. Sooner or later his mother is going to come looking for them and they're both going to catch hell if she finds them alone in here drinking, but it's worth the risk. It's incredible to him that so many people have come to celebrate with them and it's amazing that they've all been so sweet to Erin, but this really is where he's happiest at the end of the day. Anywhere with Spencer, anywhere they can be alone together, this is where he's meant to be. He doubts that's going to be much of a surprise to anyone, let alone his mother.

"How long do you think we're safe in here before people start to notice we're not out there mingling?" he asks as he takes a sip of his whiskey and grins at Spencer over the rim of his glass. He's not so daring as to suggest they do anything inappropriate with a house full of guests, but he doesn't mind the thought of spending at least a little time kissing Spencer against that desk behind him. If they're caught, then they're caught and at least it won't be anything too scandalous for their guests.

He takes a step closer to Spencer and they're nearly standing toe to toe now, both of them still holding their glasses and Joel pauses for just a moment, allowing himself time to take in Spencer's fact at such close proximity. He looks at his husband all the time. In fact, he looks at him more than he ever looks at anyone else and Joel often gets caught up in just staring at Spencer from across the store. But that's different than this. This is much closer and he can see the way Spencer's eyelashes fan against his skin when he looks down. He can see the stubble on his cheek, the crease at the corner of his mouth, the line that's sure to turn into a real wrinkle one day, and Joel reaches up to touch it, to smooth his thumb against that little crease that indicates Spencer has been smiling.

"I do love you," he says, almost as if he's surprised by the strength of this feeling. "Very much." It isn't a surprise, he's felt this way for what feels like forever now, but sometimes it just strikes him all over again how lucky he is.

They say it to each other constantly but hearing Joel say he loves him never fails to send Spencer's heart fluttering, and he thinks that's just one of the many signs that can stand as evidence that this connection between them is one that will never fade. Spencer had tried so hard in the beginning to ignore the feelings that had been stirring inside him, the attraction and tension and the sheer desire that eventually, he hadn't even wanted to deny anymore; but he'd been afraid, at first, that he could never be the sort of man that Joel could truly love. He realizes how foolish that sounds now but at the time, he'd never been looked at yet the way he would sometimes think he'd caught Joel looking at him.

They'd spend lunch hours together, more and more often as the weeks had gone by, they'd go out of their way to find each other at community gatherings they'd never otherwise attend and now, they're hosting one. Granted, they're doing a terrible job of it, considering all of their guests are in an entirely different room and likely wondering where the expecting fathers are; but Spencer thinks that he can avoid feeling guilty about leaving their friends and family and Erin out there to mingle amongst themselves for just a tiny bit longer because right now, all he wants to do is share this moment with Joel. "I think we can swing at least another ten minutes," he answers, a dimple deepening under Joel's thumb as he lets out a short, bashful laugh. His cheeks are heating below the heat of his husband's hand, and it amazes him that Joel can still have this effect on him.

Everything has changed because of Joel and yet, some things will never change. Twenty years from now, Spencer expects he'll be just as quick to flush at Joel's touch as he's always been. He thinks of the weekend they'd shared at the Inn & Lodge once in awhile, of how needy they'd been for each other when it'd only been days since the lighthouse. Some people might insist that the reason they'd been so desperate for physical contact was because of what had happened with Mark, but Spencer would beg to differ. He wouldn't have wanted to be touched by anyone else, especially not when his fingers had been bound in splints and there'd been traces of fingerprints on his neck and tiny stitches done for where the glass had shattered his temple. None of that had been sexy, at least not in Spencer's opinion, but to be there with the man he knows he's already fallen in love with had made Spencer want to give him more. Everything.

"I love you, too" he says, taking a step closer to his husband, to fill what little space is still between them. "More than anything. And if you want to make good use of these ten minutes, I wouldn't mind it so much if you were to kiss me." He tilts his head to lean in and captures Joel's lips with his own, just to prove his point, and when he pulls back, it's with a decidedly smug smile because while he knows they can't get up to anything more than this, Spencer thinks he has a relatively good idea with what else they can be doing.

He wraps one arm around Joel's waist, letting his hand wander up and down his husband's strong back until he's finally resting it on his ass and offers an innocent, wide-eyed look. "What I think we should do after we find a place for the shells is come back down here," he says, taking another sip of his whiskey. "Because if I can't do what I want to do to you right now, I'll at least need to have it done later." He squeezes Joel's ass lightly, playfully. "Do you know what I want to do you? God, you're so beautiful, I just-- I want to undress you, like we undressed each other that night in the spell world."

Biting back a smirk, he leans in closer to Joel's ear, his voice growing huskier. "I want to bend you over this desk and put my tongue inside you before I fuck you. I want to make you say my name when you come but only after I've taken you in my mouth." It's awfully wicked of him, he knows, to be a tease like this now, with a good number of their friends on the other side of the door; but in some instances, he just can't bring himself to bother caring about anything but making his husband squirm.

"What do you think?" he asks, pulling back just slightly to get a better look at Joel's expression. "Does all that sound very doable?"

It's far from the dirtiest thing Spencer has ever said to him, but that never matters, not when it comes to the two of them. Anything Spencer said to him at this point would be enough to undo him, but the fact that he's said these things, the fact that he's already made plans, ones Joel would very much like to see to fruition right now instead of later is enough to send little tremors of pleasure through him. He knows they can't, he knows they're bound to be caught and his mother is one most likely to come looking for them, and that's simply a risk he's just not willing to take, but that doesn't make him want it any less. It doesn't stop his cock from getting hard almost instantly, the sort of physical response he knows for a fact has only ever been so instantaneous with Spencer. Even as a teenager it hadn't been this easy to get him hard and he groans low in his throat, rolling his eyes dramatically as he reaches around Spencer to set his glass down on the desk. He's never been good with words, not in the way Spencer always is, but if there's one thing Joel knows how to do, it's return what Spencer has just said to him without having to actually say anything.

One arm goes around Spencer's waist without warning, the fingers of the other hand are buried in his hair, and Joel drags their bodies together, pressing his hips forward at the same time so that Spencer is pinned between the desk and his body. He's kissing him hard and deep, rolling his hips at the same time, making sure Spencer can feel how hard he is, how quickly that happened. This is the memory he wants Spencer to leave the library with, the knowledge that with just a few words, he'd gotten Joel so excited he can barely contain himself. That with just a look and a smile, he's gotten Joel hard enough that he actually kind of aches a little and is going to need to take a few minutes to calm down before he can go back out and join the rest of the party. He feels a little daring even doing this much in the library when anyone could walk in at any moment, but he needs Spencer to know exactly what he's done and exactly what he's going to be expecting once this party is over. For the rest of the day, it's going to be the only thing he's thinking about, being bent over this desk by his husband, and a low groan shivers through Joel before he breaks the kiss.

They're both breathing heavily already and he grins, a brief twitch of his lips. It's all a promise of what's to come. Not just Spencer's words, but the kiss, the way he has Spencer pinned against the desk, the smile that just barely blooms before it disappears and he's just searching Spencer's face. Not even looking for a response because he knows what the answer will be. They aren't asking each other because they don't have to. Because there's never going to be a day when Spencer touches Joel that he doesn't react to it. There will never come a day when he feels Spencer's mouth moving under his and not be drawn in within moments. They're meant for each other, they work together, and he isn't sitting here waiting for Spencer to tell him it's okay because they've told each other so many times in so many different ways that Joel knows if it wasn't okay, he'd feel it. They don't need words for that. It's a silly, romantic notion maybe, but he's sure all the same that they're beyond words when it comes to most things. Spencer can cut him a glance from across the room and Joel knows exactly what he needs. He doesn't need to have a psychic connection to him for that.

And it's only when he hears a burst of laughter from the party that Joel realizes he hasn't actually said a word and he does grin then, a different smile than the one he'd just been giving Spencer. The last smile had been a promise, a silent agreement, even a request that yes, he do everything to Joel that he's just laid out. This one is different, amused and even slightly embarrassed and although they haven't been caught yet and he still can't seem to bring himself to step back from Spencer. Their bodies are still pressed tight against one another and although there are still layers of clothes between them, Joel feels as close to him as he ever does. This man is quite simply the best person he's ever known and for some reason he's decided to spend his life with Joel. All Joel can do in return is hope he lives up to his expectations.

He would do absolutely anything in the world to make sure he never disappoints Spencer.

"Later," he says. Just one word. It's as much a promise as the smile had been and then he leans in once more, kissing Spencer deeply. His fingers are still wound in his hair and while he doesn't tug or use it to guide Spencer, he does love holding onto him in such a way. He would go anywhere Spencer asked him, do anything he requested, he'll never have the slightest semblance of control, but he loves so much to know Spencer will never take advantage of that. He has to know the lengths Joel is willing to go for him, he has to understand the depths of feeling Joel has, but he'll also never use that. He'll just love Joel in return and that's part of why Joel is so willing to do anything Spencer asks.

It's more out of habit than anything that he lets his legs lock around Joel's waist, rocking against his husband's hips because he knows exactly what Joel is doing, and Spencer could never deny that he loves it. It's been almost a year since they'd met, almost a year since they'd decided together in the back room of the bookstore that they were both ready to take their relationship to a level neither of them had reached in a long, long time, but Spencer is attracted to Joel now as he had been that first time they'd made love. That will never change, he feels that deep within him because he'd always thought that attraction was merely something people felt on the surface, a chemical reaction that would mean little in the long run for an emotional connection. He'd heard stories of people who'd ended their relationships because the sex wasn't good even though they complemented each other so well in every other way, but he understands it now.

While he and Joel do complement each other, while their relationship isn't purely based on the physical, the fact is that sex with his husband is so incredible because of the emotional connection they share. That's the difference, he thinks, that's what makes him believe that even fifty years from now, he'll want to take his husband to bed thanks solely to a hint of a crooked smile. His love for this man hasn't faltered, he hasn't once even considered what it might be like to stray, and even in another body, even in another world, he'd fallen for Joel so quickly that he'd been willing to change his entire world for him.

It doesn't surprise him at all.

Joel tastes of whiskey and cookies, and Spencer isn't sure which is more endearing as he catches his husband's bottom lip gently between his teeth, pulling back slightly to stretch it out before he releases it with a cheeky smile. "Later," he agrees, glancing at the door. He's reminded of being caught in the library by Amy, kind Amy, and he's been warring with himself over whether he'd been glad Joel had gotten the chance to see her again or not because he knows how painful it would be now. His father beneath the sea hadn't been his father but a stranger, one that he doesn't recognize among any face in town, and they'd shared an entire life and history together. It's daunting to think that he could have that with someone who doesn't truly exist, that his memories could be altered in such a way that from one second to the next, his life has changed so wholly but for one thing--his love for Joel.

That, at least he knows, will always remain consistent.

"You know, if your mother does catch us in here like this, our baby may very well never know us," Spencer teases, lowering his legs back to the floor with a dramatic sigh as he trails his hands down the length of Joel's chest, resting them flat on either side of his navel. "And what possible excuse could I come up with? 'I'm sorry, Ellie, but your is so impossibly sexy that I can't resist him'? I'm sure that would go over nicely." He shakes his head at the thought, though he's smiling widely. "My mother would never let us live it down. She caught Dane a few times when he thought we wouldn't be home. You'd think he'd learn to at least keep the door locked."

He hardly has a leg to stand in now, considering the number of times he and Joel have had sex in public this time. Though in their defense, it'd at least been once in the privacy of the bouncy castle in the backyard and another in the ocean at night where the chances of anyone seeing them had been slim to none. Granted, there'd also been the time Charlotte had walked in on Joel filling Spencer's mouth with his cock and that exactly what he'd like to avoid in the future. Particularly because she'd chosen to simply take a seat on the couch rather than turn around and leave immediately--unspeakably rude, considering how very clearly Spencer had wanted to get back to debauching her brother.

"We'll keep the door locked this time," he continues with a wink, pressing another kiss to Joel's lips simply because he can never get enough. This will never become tiresome, his need to be touching Joel as often as possible will never go away, and he's perfectly comfortable with that. He hadn't expected to fall in love but now that he has, it's not something he'd ever be willing to let go.

Joel laughs and slides one hand along the back of Spencer's thigh before he lowers his legs back to the floor and while he knows it's not responsible, while he knows they really do need to return to the party, it's impossible for him to find any good reason to do those things when Spencer is here with him. The people out there are all very nice and he cares about them a great deal, but there isn't a single one of them he's ever looked at the way he looks at Spencer. None of them make him feel this way and within two months they're going to find their alone time to be very limited with the baby's arrival. Until then, Joel wants to make the most of everything and spend as much time with Spencer as possible. The nursery is almost done and once they've gone through their gifts and written their thank you cards, he thinks he would very much like to spend the next two months focusing on just their relationship and the two of them. Aoife's offer of her place in New York for a weekend is likely a good place to start and he's about to bring that up when the inevitable knock sounds at the door.

At least this time there is a knock, which gives Joel a chance to arrange his cardigan in a way that his arousal isn't entirely obvious.

Then his mother sticks her head into the room and gives the two of them an entirely disapproving look. Joel hasn't quite stepped away from Spencer, who's still against the deck, and his lips are red, his cheeks pink from where Joel's beard has been brushing against his skin. Neither of them look particularly innocent either, which is probably the most damning evidence and Ellie's gaze slides from the two of them to the glasses of whiskey and she lets out an exasperated sounding sigh. There's amusement there, too, however. Joel can definitely hear that. For all the eye rolling and head shaking she does at the two of them, he knows she's still just glad that he's found someone to love like this, someone who makes him so happy. In the end, he thinks he and Spencer might be able to get away with just about anything.

"Did you two really think your absence wouldn't be noticed?" she asks, nodding toward the party. There's another little bust of laughter and Joel wants to point out that people seem to be having a good time without them, but he's not sure how well that will go over with his mother in the moment, so he just shrugs and tries to look as innocent as possible. Which probably isn't very innocent, given his drink and his slightly disheveled state. "People are asking about you and I can really only keep them out of here for so long. Especially when there are presents to be opened. Erin's being nearly bombarded with the questions you two should be answering, so finish your drinks and whatever else you're doing and get your asses back out there to be the men of the hour."

Then she smiles and shakes her head in amusement before closing the library door behind her. Joel can hear her disappearing back down the hall, her voice muffled as she explains that Joel isn't feeling well and just needs a minute. Of course she covers for him and Joel finds himself grinning before he picks up his glass and swallows the rest of his whiskey. He knows he shouldn't, he should take a step back from Spencer and give himself a moment to calm down, but instead he just leans in again and presses his lips to the sharp edge of Spencer's jaw. He loves this man so much that it sometimes feels like words will never do is justice. Even just being here with him, kissing him, none of that will ever express the depth of what he feels, but it's all he has, so he has to hope it communicates at least a fraction of what he wants it to. There's no one in the world as important to him as Spencer, but soon that's going to change. Soon they're going to have a baby and then Joel knows his heart will simply expand to make sure there's room for the both of them.

"I can't wait until later," he murmurs, pressing another kiss to Spencer's cheek, then the skin just before his ear before he nuzzles against his throat. They're supposed to be getting themselves together to return to the party, Joel understands that, but he just needs another minute or two of Spencer. It's hardly his fault that he's gotten distracted when his husband has put such visuals into his head.

It pleases Spencer to see that Joel looks to be feeling about as guilty as he does about being caught a step away from being undone by each other by Ellie, which is to say hardly at all, save for the fact that being in here means they've abandoned their own surrogate to the eagerness of middle-aged women who are fascinated by Erin's choice to provide a homosexual couple such as Spencer and Joel with a child. He's been asked the questions himself, which he suspects hasn't stopped them from asking again, about whether the mother will get to see the child, too, or how holidays like Christmas will work when Erin is celebrating with her family and the Waters-Bakers are celebrating with each other.

Much like he and Joel had gently tried to remind Brian more than once--though they've since given it up and anyway, he only slips once in awhile now--that neither of them had ever been gay but bisexual, Spencer had attempted to explain that while Erin is carrying the child to term for them, she won't be considered the baby's mother. He'd gotten some confused stares, which hadn't surprised him, and none of the women mean any harm at all so he'd only laughed--a genuine laugh, at that--and told them that perhaps Ellie would be better off explaining it. Of course, they'd probably just ended up going straight to the source, which he's sure Erin doesn't mind but still, he and Joel should probably at least consider moving away from the desk to go save her.

"Do you think that what we're paying our lovely surrogate is commesurate to what she's having to deal with out there," he teases, though it's punctuated by a moan as Joel's beard rubs against his neck, and Spencer has always loved that feeling. The beard is long enough that it's soft but still prickles, and he knows that there are parts of his cheeks and neck that must be red from it already, but he doesn't care. If they walk out of this library and everyone can tell just by looking at them what they've been doing, Spencer will be fine with that because this is their house, and they're entitled to do whatever they please. Even while acting as the hosts of a baby shower.

Another moment or so in here won't hurt their guests, he decides, nor will it hurt Erin, who's hinted to them more than once that they should take advantage of what little time they have left together as just a married couple as opposed to a married couple with a baby because quality time becomes rare when they're being woken up at all hours of the night. Between taking on their new roles as fathers to a newborn and running the store and Joel's kindness in volunteering to help Corinne Flynn with building sets for the Waterhouse, they're going to be very busy indeed.

"Mm, forget what I just said, do we really have to wait?" He knows the answer, even as he wraps his arms back around Joel's waist and pulls him closer again, Spencer knows what the answer will be but that doesn't stop him. Very little could stop him from pressing another kiss to his husband's lips, from smiling as the kiss deepens, from letting slip a soft moan. This is all they can do right now until later, until Spencer can make good on what he considers a promise, but he doesn't mind.

This is good. This is perfect.

"We do," Joel murmurs, but that doesn't stop him from kissing Spencer deeply, parting his lips with his tongue and leaning heavily against him. They're perfectly capable of restraining themselves when they have to, but they've just so rarely had to that Joel thinks he's possibly forgotten how to do it. Spencer is right here and he's warm and familiar against Joel's body. While the two weeks they spent in the fairytale world hadn't been the worst thing that could happen to them -- other people had it far worse, he knows that for a fact -- it does strike him now and then that something could have happened to prevent them from meeting. Had he not gone sailing that day, Spencer wouldn't have saved him. Or had Spencer not been able to find a witch to give him legs, their story would have ended there. Today, in this moment, he's trying not to give much thought to what Les has said to him, that clearly Nerium is responsible, because that weighs heavily on Joel. He's trusted her with things, he's thought of her as a friend, and when he thinks about the possibility of her having taken Spencer away from him, little fingers of ice begin to make their way into his heart, closing off the parts that he'd allowed her into. He'd forgotten just how easy it was to have a friend betray him.

He doesn't want to think about it now. He doesn't want to think about where they might all be had Davin not killed that dragon and broken the spell. He doesn't want to think about the possibility that he and Spencer might not be preparing for the birth of their child at this moment because those memories had all been wiped from their minds. They found each other again, that much is true, and he'll never stop being grateful for that, but their entire lives had been altered. Their histories, their memories, even their families, and it makes Joel angry if he thinks about it for too long. This is his life and it hasn't been perfect, he's made mistake, but it's still the life he's led and he wants to remember that. All of what he's been through has made him into the man Spencer loves and anything that takes that away from him isn't something he ever wants to deal with again. It's impossible for him to forget completely, given everything that happened, given the consequences that are sure to follow, but he doesn't want to think about it now. Not while he's kissing his amazing husband at their baby shower.

"I love you very much," he murmurs a second later, nudging his lips against Spencer's as he speaks. "And I'm very much looking forward to later in case you can't already tell." His hips roll at the same time, making it terribly obvious just how much he's looking forward to it. He's probably going to have to sit with a plate of food on his lap for the rest of the shower at this rate, which he didn't imagine was going to be very subtle, but that was just what Spencer could do to him. With a look, with a smile, with anything. He sends Joel spiralling down into a world where he'll do anything Spencer asks of him and he can't say he minds very much. It's an awfully enjoyable place to live.

"But unless we both want to get our asses kicked by my mother and then by Erin, I think we should probably head back out," he says reluctantly. He wouldn't put it past either of them, not given how tough they both are, and while Erin is also endlessly sweet to them, he thinks there's probably a limit to just how much she's willing to put up with and that limit had probably been reached about ten minutes ago or Ellie wouldn't have come looking for the two of them. She's doing so much for them, going above and beyond what's required of her through their contract, and Joel feels like they've made a real friend in her, too. He has no doubt that their baby is going to grow up knowing her, knowing he or she can always trust her. That's something he hadn't expected going into this, but he's certainly glad they've found it now. She was more than just the right choice for them, she's clearly the perfect choice.

"Besides, I want more of those bottle shaped cookies before they're all gone," he teases, then nips lightly at Spencer's full lower lip. "Isn't that the entire point of this party? Presents and cookies that someone else made for us so we didn't have to do any of the work?" They have a clean up ahead of them, but that's something they can worry about after they fulfill their evening plans.

Spencer watches Joel for a moment, feeling the tug of a smile at his lips even though he knows what must be going through his husband's mind. "I can practically see the wheels turning up there," he says, tapping softly at Joel's temple before pressing his lips to the same spot. There are so many different, awful ways their story could have gone under that spell, and they had been more than fortunate to avoid them; but in the end, their minds had been manipulated and there isn't just them to consider. Coop has barely been able to look him in the eyes the entire time they've been in the same room during this shower, and they haven't actually spoken yet but Spencer wants nothing more than to take the man aside and assure him that there's nothing to apologize for when all he'd done was become a victim himself.

He and Joel had fallen in love all over again, but they'd also forgotten each other and it's that part that's unforgivable in particular, at least in Spencer's mind. He hadn't known his mother or his brother, his friends or even his true father, he hadn't known to expect the arrival of the most beautiful child this world will ever see. For the most part, he's been trying to ignore all that, focusing instead on what he'd found with Joel because otherwise, he knows he'll just be angry. He'd had his voice stolen for him and had been sentenced to horrible pain and doubt and confusion for two very long weeks but at the very least, he'd still emerged from it all as a man whose love was returned. That's important to Spencer, it means something to him; but never has he been so glad to be in Siren Cove the way it's meant to be.

"I love you, too. Wherever we go, whatever we're doing, I'll always love you. Even when you keep doing this thing with your hips that's making me crazy, I think it's much more unfair than anything I could possibly have said to you about what later will bring." It's the truth, Spencer is sure of it, because he'd delivered promises he fully intends on keeping but if Joel wants to leave this library with any chance of either of them looking like they haven't already gotten up to things they probably shouldn't be getting up to at their baby shower--or any baby shower, frankly--then he really needs to stop reminding Spencer of just how torturous waiting is really going to be.

It's with a deep breath and a pout that follows Joel's teeth grazing over his lip that he lets his head fall forward with a dramatic groan. "My jeans are uncomfortably tight now, thank you very much, there is no number of bottle shaped cookies that will change that. But fine, if you insist, I'll step outside so everyone can see what it is my husband does to me."

He glances back up before breaking into a grin, knowing very well that they're both going to need at least another few minutes before they're presentable again but there's a danger in that because really, it's just more time for them to get each other even more worked up. This is exactly why Spencer doesn't do well at social gatherings, there's always something else he'd much rather be doing. Specifically Joel.

"I think they already know what I do to you, given how often the store it closed for long lunches," Joel points out with a bright grin. He's always so proud of himself when he makes comments that border on suggestive in such a manner and he knows he's nowhere near as good at them as Spencer is, but every once in awhile he manages to make one that sounds almost natural coming out of him. So he's grinning, pleased with himself, but he's taken a step back, too, giving his body the space it needs to stop responding so favourably to Spencer's mere presence. It's probably best for him to actually leave the room and go stand alone in the hall for a moment, but he doesn't want to just abandon his husband and so he wanders the perimeter of the library, pretends to look at books and then, when he feels like they've both had enough time to deal with themselves, he reaches his hand out toward Spencer and then nods toward the door. "Ready?" he asks.

The rest of the party really isn't at all difficult. They open gifts, the two of them and Erin, and people seem to generally be having a good time. Joel is stunned by the generosity of their friends, the sheer number of wonderful gifts people have given to their baby and the fact that so many people brought things for Erin, too, hasn't gone unnoticed. Joel has never really enjoyed a party before and he's never enjoyed being the centre of attention, but this party and being able to share the attention with Spencer has made it all a lot easier. It's a good afternoon and if anyone has really noticed that the two of them disappeared for a significant period of time, they don't say anything. Not that Joel would feel guilty about it even if someone did point it out, but it's nice to know their friends are discrete enough to give the two of them a few minutes away from a party without comment.

And he's surprised by how quickly the rest of the afternoon goes. It doesn't seem like it's that long before people are leaving and Joel is cataloguing the gifts so that he knows who gave them what and what they'll be writing on the thank you cards. During the unwrapping, Ellie had written down the gift on every card, so it doesn't look like it's going to be much work and Joel is thankful for that, too. He never would have thought to do something like that in the moment and he's grateful his mother has been so on top of things right from the beginning. She's been waiting for something like this, though, she's been waiting for her first grandchild and since Joel had taken her first child's wedding away from her, he's been more than happy to leave this in her very capable hands.

It's as he's cleaning up dishes that Ellie takes them from him and nudges him away. "Out of the kitchen," she says. "You and Spencer had a big day, I'm sure Charlotte and I can take care of the dishes. Go find your husband."

That's as much permission as Joel needs and he kisses his mother's cheek before he returns to the living room to find Spencer carefully making piles of the gifts. "Hey," he says, sliding his hand against Spencer's lower back before he hooks his fingers in one of his belt loops. "We've been given permission to leave the clean up to my mom and sister, which I'm sure Charlotte is going to be furious about, so we might want to escape while we have the chance."

He doesn't need to specifically go back to the library, but it would be a lie to say he hasn't been thinking about it since they had to leave it a few hours earlier. The problem with Spencer putting ideas into his head is that Joel tends to fixate on them and be unable to focus on anything else. He's done a fairly good job this afternoon, but now that they have the opportunity to be alone again, getting Spencer back into the library or their bedroom or anywhere private is really the only thing he's able to think about.

Spencer lifts his chin up in the air, purposely avoiding eye contact with Joel as he goes about his business, sorting onesies from books and toys and diapers as he catalogues each gift in his mind. Ellie has already made sure she writes down who had brought what gift, which is going to be incredibly helpful when they start writing their cards--rather, when Spencer writes the cards and forces Joel to sign his name to every single one--but even though they've already seen everything, he'd wanted to go through it all again. It's a nice reminder after their house has been thoroughly emptied of any lingering guests of just how many people care about them, support them in this enormous and life-altering decision they've made to become parents, and sorting the gifts into piles had been the only thing he could think to do in order to avoid bursting into an emotional fit of tears--the good kind, of course, but he still doesn't want to have to explain to his mother- and sister-in-law through hiccups that he's only sobbing because he's happy.

For a long time, he hadn't imagined he could ever be happy again. He's not even sure that he can say he'd ever been truly happy before last year, and it isn't that he'd been miserable but for the most part, his life has been quite ordinary. His mother and brother had been popular in the community, they'd had many friends and were so well-liked; but Spencer, he'd preferred staying at home where he wouldn't have to make small talk with people who likely wouldn't care what he had to say anyway. Dane's friends had been kind to him, for the most part--Coop included--but nearly all of them only spoke to him because they'd felt it impolite not to, and Spencer had never taken issue with that. He'd chosen a way for himself, and he didn't hold it against anyone else to let him continue on with it.

So to think that now, he has a husband who's been ready for a promised later so clearly eager to make Spencer deliver on the promises he'd made is as extraordinary as he could have imagined. He has an incredible life, one he wouldn't trade for anything, even after all the horrible things that have happened to lead him here. Joel makes him happier than he thinks he really deserves, treats him better than anyone, and Spencer's love for him surpasses anything he's ever felt before. This is true contentment, he thinks, this is the sort of relationship that people long for and envy because there's not even the slightest trace of doubt. Whatever arguments they might have are resolved within minutes, if that, and usually, they're more silly, teasing ones than anything serious.

How many versions of the same toy the baby really needs is one example, and Spencer holds up a Sophie that he'd placed an order on just yesterday with a snort. "I suppose I shouldn't have put this on the registry if I was just going to buy it myself, hmm?"

He sets the teether back down and finally turns to his husband with widening eyes, blinking innocently. "Oh, I'm sorry, did you say we've been given permission to leave? As if you'd want to take a single step away from all of this?" He gestures at the array of gifts that still need sorting, the decorations and plates and cups that have been left behind, and grins a bit devlishly as he trails a finger down his husband's chest and stops it right below his navel, tapping at the button of Joel's jeans. "I think I hear that libary calling for us again, don't you? Maybe we should turn on a bit of music. Have another glass of whiskey." He leans in for a kiss, a sweet one that speaks nothing of Spencer plans on doing to his husband as soon as they enter into the other room.

"And we'll have to make sure we lock that door."

There's probably a fair number of things they have as duplicates now -- even triplicates -- given how enthusiastic Spencer has been both about shopping for their child and maintaining multiple registries. But at the moment Joel couldn't care less about that. Tomorrow he'll go through everything, tomorrow he'll do the sorting and filing and piling that is required of him at the end of every week. He can't organize his store worth a damn, but he's organized in nearly every other aspect of his life, so going through all the baby supplies they've been given or purchased themselves isn't such a hardship. He actually kind of enjoys it in a weird way, it's something he and Spencer have come to laugh about and he's sure once their child is old enough to really understand the humour in it, they'll share the story with him or her. But this is all for tomorrow. These are the things he'll think about when they wake up in the morning. For now all he cares about is that they've been relieved from cleaning up duties and he is in dire need of dragging his husband right back into the library where they'd spent a lovely few minutes earlier in the afternoon.

"I'd like to take many steps away from all this," he says, giving Spencer's belt loop a gentle tug, though he doesn't think he's going to have to work that hard to convince him, not when Spencer is tapping at the button of his jeans and grinning at him like that. He just leans into the kiss and soft and sweet, but he knows what Spencer has in mind. He remembers every last word his husband had said to him in the library earlier and he's barely been able to stop thinking about them for longer than a few minutes. He knows they're grown men, he knows they're supposed to have gotten over this constant urge to just be naked together, but he hopes it never stops. It won't always be possible, he understands that well enough, but he never wants to not want this. There's no world in which he's not going to want Spencer and he grins as his husband says he can hear the library calling them. Nodding, Joel steps back and then turns so he can lead the way back down the hall.

In the kitchen as they pass, he can hear Charlotte complaining about having to clean up and Ellie telling her to be quiet, which only makes Joel grin and walk faster so they're not caught by his sister. He slips into the library and walks toward the stereo, because while they're going to lock the door and he's sure his mother is going to make sure they're not bothered for the rest of the night, he thinks it's probably only polite that they turn on some music. There are other people in the house right now, after all, and he knows they've gotten pretty used to being alone. It takes him just a moment to put something on, not one of his regular records, but something he knows both he and Spencer will enjoy, and then he's turning back to look at his husband with a grin.

"Did you lock the door?" he asks, walking across the library again and he already knows the answer even as he reaches Spencer and pushes him back against it lightly. Even when he's feeling especially aggressive, even when he wants nothing more than to strip Spencer down and do anything he wants, there's always a gentleness about the way he touches his husband. They can be rough with each other, they're more than capable, but every tighter grip is followed by a soothing hand. Every bite is followed by a kiss. And now, when he shoves Spencer against the door, it's with a gentle hand that he holds onto his hips because as much as he's acting as if he's the one in charge, he knows he isn't. Spencer had made it very clear what he wants and Joel is more than willing to hand over every last bit of power he might ever hope to have.

"Because I remember what you said," he murmurs, leaning in to ghost his lips over Spencer's. "I remember that you want to undress me and then bend me over the desk. It sounded like a promise and it would be terrible of you to start breaking promises now, wouldn't it?"

Spencer hums his agreement, sliding his hands teasingly under the hem of Joel's shirt so he can brush his fingers lightly against his skin, unable to hold back a satisfied smile when he feels the goosebumps rising. Any reaction he can get out of Joel is a good one in Spencer's book and though he always loves to find new ways to make Joel moan with a well-placed lick or touch or bite, he loves, too, that he already knows exactly where to do all those things to make his husband crazy. They've learned each others' bodies quite thoroughly over the course of the past year, and Spencer can't fathom how anyone could say that sex with the same person could possibly get boring because in what possible world could it be boring to share a bed with someone who has perfected how to make him come?

Then again, Spencer does admittedly see the problem that anyone who says that has: they don't have a partner in Joel, nor will they ever because Spencer has no plans whatsoever to let sharing become a part of their sex life. Maybe some people need to add a little spice to their physical relationship, Spencer spares no judgment for that; but he knows what he likes--what he loves--and who he wants in bed and inside of him, and all those things include nobody but Joel. His husband has told him about Coop's occasional teasing about threesomes, and it would have made Spencer terribly uncomfortable if the comments had come from anyone else but at the very least, he knows Coop means no harm behind it. Maybe in the world under that spell, he had; but the Coop he knows, the Coop who had been one of his brother's closest friends, would never do purposely say something like that to make someone squirm with anything other than mild, good-natured annoyance.

Still, that doesn't mean that once in awhile, he likes to pretend like they need to remind each other that they belong to each other. Nobody in the world will ever get to see Joel's body the way he does again, and Spencer revels in that. It pleases him to know that the things they do behind closed doors are only ever for them because most certainly, Spencer would never have been able to say a great majority of the things he's said to Joel since they'd started having sex to anyone else. It's this man in particular who brings out this side of him, this possessive side that makes him so hungry for his husband, so lustful, and a low, rough moan sounds from his throat as he moves his hands up over Joel's chest, his thumbs brushing over Joel's nipples.

"Doors are locked," he confirms, "and I'm pretty sure the ring on my finger is a symbol of a vow I made to never break a promise to you. It'd be very rude of me, indeed, if I were to tell you I'd do something and then go back on my word." He lowers his hands again, curling his fingers over the material of Joel's shirt before swiftly pulling it over his husband's head and tossing it aside with a crooked smirk. "So I'll undress you." He reaches for Joel's hands, tugging him back over to the liquor cabinet where the bottle of whiskey and their glasses are still set out from earlier. "I'll bend you over that desk. I'll do everything I said until you're competing with the volume of that music."

He tilts his head, still smirking as he releases one of Joel's hands to reach for the bottle, uncapping it and pouring whiskey into one of the glasses as he uses his other hand to palm at Joel's hardening cock through his jeans. He's not in a rush, at least not really, but he's been anticipating this throughout the remainder of the shower so if he doesn't take it slow, he thinks Joel will forgive him. "We're going to taste this whiskey before we taste each other," he says, pouring the amber liquid into the other glass before handing one to his husband. "That's enough to cheers to, isn't it? Salud."

Joel isn't sure how he's supposed to do much of anything when Spencer is so calmly and casually pouring them both drinks, all the while rubbing his palm against Joel's cock. His entire body trembles and for a second he feels almost faint, but then Spencer is handing a glass of whiskey to him and Joel takes it without much thought, lifting it in silent agreement to Spencer's words, knowing if he tries to speak now the only thing likely to come out is a string of half-formed words and desperate little moans. It wouldn't surprise Spencer at all, not after all this time, not knowing what he does about how quickly his words and actions and even his looks affect Joel, but he still would like to feel some of his pride for at least another minute or two. It won't last much longer than that, he's sure, not given the things Spencer has promised him, not with the way his hand is rubbing against him, and it takes Joel two attempts to actually raise the glass to his lips to take a sip. Instead of taking his time, he pauses, then tilts the glass back the rest of the way, swallowing down the shot of whiskey in one go. It leaves a trail of warmth down his throat, blooming in his belly, and when he reaches out to set the glass down again he thinks his hand might be a little bit steadier.

Then again, he may just be imagining things.

"That's more than enough," he breathes, finally able to answer Spencer's earlier question and he's pleased that the words actually come out of his mouth sounding like they're supposed to. His hips press forward, seeking more of Spencer's touch and his fingers twitch a little. He wants to touch Spencer, but there's something he likes about this, standing here in the library, his shirt off, his hands by his side, his husband rubbing against his cock while he drinks his whiskey. It makes Joel feel a little vulnerable, a little bit like Spencer could turn demanding and the only thing Joel would do is moan and obey. Anything he asked, anything he said, Joel would do it without question and so he just stands and waits, watching Spencer raise his own drink.

In just over two months they're not going to have as much time for things like this. He knows they'll find ways, they'll make time to be together, he knows there's nothing in the world that's going to stop him from reminding Spencer just how much they love each other and how well they work together, but he knows it'll be different, too. If they want an entire night alone, they'll have to make arrangements for someone to watch their baby. Their time together might be quick and hurried some days, able to happen only in the moments when they've finally gotten the baby down for a nap. Joel is certain they should be enjoying these last few months and he doesn't think anything is going to change so much that they won't still be happy and that they won't still love all their time together, but he knows it will change. He isn't afraid of that. He and Spencer are strong, they've been through so much together and this is the life they want. So he isn't afraid, but he does want to make the most of the time they have left before the baby arrives.

"Spencer," he murmurs and his hands twitch again. It's as long as he can manage without touching him and he lifts one hand, sliding his fingers under Spencer's shirt, across the warmth of his skin, and a long, shuddering sigh escapes him at the touch. His husband is so familiar, so perfect, and if he's ever wondered what it really means to come home, then this is it. Being able to touch Spencer in such a familiar way, being able to know every curve and dip and line of his skin over bone and muscle. He can trace the curve of Spencer's ribs and the bumps of his spine, the flats of his shoulder blades and the ridge of his collarbone and he knows every last detail.

Spencer is well aware of the fact that he could tell his husband to do absolutely anything right now and Joel would do it without question. He could tell Joel to undress himself, to stroke himself while Spencer watches, to get to his knees and beg for what Spencer has promised to do him; but the fact is, if Joel were to turn this around and demand all those things of him, Spencer would have no problem with it whatsoever. Both of them, he thinks, would like to believe that the other easily has more control but the truth--the better truth--is that they're always an equal footing, no matter what the circumstances. There's trust between them that Spencer couldn't even properly explain to anyone because it's a bit difficult to be willing to say to a friend that he's so in love with this man that even when Joel fucks him a bit rougher than usual, even when there are faint, finger-shaped bruises left on his hips after they've made love, it's always incredibly enjoyable because there's no fear that either of them will go too far.

When Joel touches him, Spencer doesn't have to be able to see fingers against skin to know that they're sparking. He can feel it, like he does every single time they're intimate, there's a magic between them that has nothing to do with power or control. They're in harmony, just like they always are, they're not competing because there's nothing left to win when they already have each other. So yes, Spencer plans on fucking Joel very thoroughly this evening but that doesn't mean that he wants to make his husband feel like he's being used in any way.

"Come here, baby," he says, keeping his voice soft and low before finishing off his whiskey and setting the glass aside so he can tug his own shirt off. He slides his hands over the expanse of Joel's chest, leaning in to nip at his husband's collarbone and smooth over the spot with his tongue, trailing kisses up his neck and along the line of his jaw. He lowers his hands back down to Joel's pants again, undoing the jeans and pushing them down along with Joel's briefs until they're pooled around his husband's ankles, and Spencer looks down between them with an indecent moan at the familiar sight of Joel's hardened cock.

He wets his parted lips, glancing back up at Joel with a small, slightly bashful quirk of his lips as his cheeks flush with desire. "You," he says, reaching between them to take hold of Joel's cock, rubbing his thumb over the tip and delighting in the pre-come that's already pooling there, "are unbelievably sexy, Mr. Waters-Baker, were you aware of that? It's practically a crime." He reaches into his back pocket with his free hand, producing a small bottle that he displays with a suggestive raise of his eyebrows. "Remember when I stepped away to the restroom earlier? I came back prepared. But first..."

He pushes away from where they're standing, carefully guiding Joel backwards toward the desk on the other side of the room until he can lower him onto it. "First, I'm going to need to hear you beg." He sinks to his knees, keeping his eyes on Joel all the time before giving his husband's cock a slow stroke and leaning forward to take him into his mouth. He groans as he tastes him, sucking hard at the tip before taking him in further, all the way to the back of his throat and bobbing his head as he revels in the warmth and weight over his tongue.

This is his heavenly bliss, he thinks, being able to do this for his husband and knowing that by the end of this night, they'll both be so exhausted that they might give careful consideration to simply falling asleep on the library floor.

Sometimes the way Spencer looks at him still makes him squirm. Not necessarily out of embarrassment or discomfort, but because he can't quite believe someone this incredible is looking at him in that way. Like he's something spectacular, something out of the ordinary, something to be appreciated and cared for and loved. It doesn't surprise him anymore, it doesn't make him wonder if Spencer really means it, he trusts his husband more than he's ever trusted anyone and he knows that he's loved and wanted. But it still makes a shiver run through him, a trembling that goes down his spine and seems to drive straight into his cock, making his lips parts as a soft little moan escapes him. His cheeks flush when Spencer tells him he's sexy and he's never felt like he was, not until Spencer, but now he believes that, too. He believes Spencer thinks he's sexy anyway and that's really the only thing that matters. If he thinks so, Joel will never want for anything else. If Spencer always wants him, he'll be happy for the rest of his years.

Leaning back against the desk, Joel can already feel his breath quickening, his heart pounding as Spencer lowers himself to his knees. It's a sight he'll never tire of, watching the way Spencer's body folds as he slides down in front of Joel like this, and even before Spencer touches him he can feel anticipation running through him like electricity. He knows he doesn't have an extensive list of experience and it isn't as if he's ever spent any time comparing Spencer to the other people he's been with, but Joel knows for a fact that his husband is incredible at this. He doesn't need any other experience, he doesn't need comparisons, he's simply never felt as good as he does when he's with Spencer and he knows the fact that they love each other so much has a lot to do with it, that isn't everything. Spencer is simply good at this and when he takes Joel into his mouth, another groan escapes him as his head tips back and he stared wide-eyed up at the ceiling. It's a good thing he'd put the music a little louder than he might otherwise, because he's already aware that the sound he's making aren't exactly quiet.

"Spencer," he breathes as his fingers curl over the edge of the desk. It's solid behind him, there to support his weight, and he's suddenly extremely grateful for it because his legs are shaking and he thinks if he were to try to move they might already just give out on him. This is what Spencer does to him. Within moments he's completely undone Joel, sent him skittering toward the edge, and he has to close his eyes and squeeze the edge of the desk tightly to regain some of his composure. They certainly have all night and given how badly he wants Spencer to be the one fucking him it won't be the end of the world if he comes too soon, but he wants to enjoy this, too. He's been thinking about this all day and he wants nothing more than to make it all last as long as he possibly can. Which means thinking about things other than the incredible blowjob his husband is currently giving him. The order coming into the store tomorrow. Balancing their books. What he's going to make for lunch.

But then Spencer does something with tongue in combination with his hand and Joel's eyes fly open as he stares down at his husband. One hand comes up off the desk and his fingers thread through Spencer's hair, not guiding him, not forcing him, just holding onto him rather desperately. His hips roll and it's slow, a little tentative, waiting for Spencer to let him know what's okay and what's too much. They've learned to communicate in so many different ways that Joel is confident they don't need words now. He doesn't need to ask if something is okay because Spencer will let him know even if he doesn't say.

He looks down at Spencer and has to bite down hard on his lower lip just at the sight of his husband there on his knees. Joel's cock is in his mouth, his lips stretched around him and he practically whimpers, feeling heat coursing through him, his cock twitching and growing harder still. Being able to see Spencer is the thing he loves most, being able to watch him, and he shakes his head, utterly speechless, as he rolls his hips again.

God, he loves this. Feeling Joel grow harder in his mouth, parting his lips wider and making eye contact with him to let him know that everything is fine, everything is perfect, Spencer loves it all. He dips his head further down, a show of encouragement that Joel should be comfortable rolling his hips as much as he'd like because Spencer can take it, he'll take Joel's cock as far down his throat as he can if it means it'll make his husband watch him like that, say his name like that, moan like that. He knows that nobody would expect this kind of behavior out of them, nobody would guess that what they do in their private life would be anything but purely vanilla, but Spencer kind of likes the idea of being able to prove them wrong, even if they don't know it.

He could do this all day, suck his husband until Joel's orgasmed, until he feels the warm rush of come down his throat, and Spencer craves it, he truly does. But he's saving that for the end, he reminds himself, because he'd spelled out exactly what he wants to do for his husband tonight, and it wouldn't do to deviate from the plan now.

"Turn around," he murmurs, but he's the one guiding Joel, he's the one gripping Joel's hips to do what he's just said and sliding one hand up to the small of his back so he can push down slightly to bend his husband over the desk like he's been wanting to do for hours now. He'd almost been angry at their guests, which is ridiculous but true, for being the very reason why he'd had to wait to give his husband all of himself, to make Joel feel like this when some days, it's all he can think about. Some days, there isn't a thing Joel could do that could keep Spencer from being aroused, from the way he drinks his coffee to the way his brow knits in concentration when he does his inventory ordering on his laptop without his glasses on. Spencer can list a thousand different everyday things Joel does that turns him ona and even still, that list wouldn't be complete.

Now, he's tracing the curve of Joel's ass with his hands, and he wishes he could see his husband's face right now but this is what he's promised and so this is what he's going to do. He can't deny that he's slightly nervous, he hasn't done this to Joel before and while Joel is exceptionally skilled at it, Spencer isn't as certan about his own abilities. Still, he's admittedly learned from the best, so he leans forward to press a kiss to Joel's thigh, smiling softly at the way his husband seems to tremble beneath him, and Spencer wants so badly just to be able to fuck him right now but he can wait. He can be patient because this isn't about what he wants right now, it's about making sure that Joel enjoys this, that Joel feels good. That's all Spencer ever wants when they're intimate.

He swallows hard before lowering both hands back to Joel's hand, spreading him slightly and letting his lips part with a soft gasp of arousal as his cock strains against the constraint of his pants. It's better this way, he thinks, keeping himself still tucked away because otherwise, he might just lose control and reach down to touch himself before he can do what he's really looking forward to doing most. They have an incredible sex life, they fall into bed together often because no matter what, neither of them seem willing to keep their hands off each other for very long; but for the most part, Joel is the one on top, the one fucking Spencer into the mattress until they're both so spent that there's nothing left to do but lie together in a tangle of limbs until they fall asleep still sticky and sweaty and smelling of sex.

It isn't that they need an occasion to switch like this, but it's just the way it'd turned out between them, and Spencer doesn't think either of them have any complaints about that. Still, he loves the sessions when he gets to be the one slowly pushing into his husband's tigth warmth, and it makes his cock twitch again just from the anticipation of it. Right now, though, there's a different task at hand, and he's taking it very seriously. "I love you so much," he murmurs, Joel's ass still spread for him as he wets his lips before swipes his tongue against that ring of muscle, pulling back slightly just to get a sense of his husband's reaction. For all he knows, Joel might not enjoy it as much as Spencer absolutely loves having Joel's tongue inside him, and he'll gladly make the switch to lube and fingers if that's what he wants; but he doesn't hear any opposition so he smiles before slowly circling his tongue over Joel's ass, groaning as he feels his stomach doing somersaults over how utterly perfect this is.

He's wanted to try it for a long time, just because he knows how much he enjoys it himself, and he lets one hand fall between Joel's legs so he can stroke his cock as he pushes his tongue inside him for the very first time.

For a moment Joel is worried he isn't going to be able to last. Not when Spencer is encouraging him to thrust, not when he looks so perfectly beautiful right where he is and Joel almost whimpers again, the sound stuck low in his throat. He wants to warn Spencer, to tell him he needs to stop, he has to give him a break or this is going to be over far sooner than either of them want it to be, but then Spencer is pulling back without Joel having to say anything at all and as much as he misses the feel of his husband's mouth around his cock, there is a part of him that's relieved. It means he gets to enjoy this for even longer and he shoots Spencer a pleased, grateful look even as he's being told to turn around.

And suddenly his anticipation spikes again. His hands slide over the smooth surface of the desk as Spencer gently pushes against his back and Joel has the sudden memory of pushing Spencer down in much the same manner, stretching him out across that table he'd built and he finds himself grinning as he ducks his head. He isn't quite draped across the desk, he's still holding himself up slightly, but then he feels Spencer's hands on his ass, he feels his husband's lips press to the back of his thigh and he just can't seem to do it anymore. His head drops forward, his cheek pressed against the cool surface of the desk and Joel's eyes flutter closed. For a second he feels like he's just suspended there, waiting for something, and then he feels the warmth of Spencer's tongue and he nearly cries out loud enough to be heard beyond the walls of the library.

He's wanted this for a long time, almost since the very first moment he had pushed Spencer over the arm of the couch and pressed his tongue into his ass. It's incredible from that end and he's been building this up in his mind, turning it into some perfect experience and even though it's just barely begun, Spencer hasn't disappointed him at all. Then he does it again, just swipes his tongue against Joel's ass and he does sob this time, a breathless sort of gasp against the wood of the desk as his fingers curl over the edge just for something to hold onto. He can feel one of Spencer's hands still on his ass and it takes him a second to realize he's reached between Joel's legs, that he's stroking his cock as he pushes his tongue into him and he is entirely certain he nearly blacks out from pleasure

And then his voice suddenly comes back to him in a rush. Joel has never been particularly talkative and while he'll moan and gasp, whenever he talks during sex it's usually limited to Spencer's name. This is just a little more than that, a sudden outpouring he hadn't expected and can't control even if he tried. He's pushing back a little, pressing toward Spencer's mouth, surprised by his own neediness.

"Spencer, oh my god," he groans, hands gripping the edge of the desk hard enough that his knuckles hurt. "Holy shit, I didn't know, I had no idea. I can't... I... oh god." And he has a feeling he isn't making any sense, but if he can't stop himself from speaking, there's no way he's going to be able to make himself pause long enough to make sure he's actually speaking in sentences. It doesn't matter anyway, he's fairly certain Spencer will understand what he's trying to say. "Don't stop," he begs. "Jesus Christ, Spencer, don't stop. Don't, just..." And he trails off again into a series of moan instead.

Spencer remembers all too well what he'd felt the first time Joel had done this for him. It'd been experimental for them both at the time, they'd only been having sex for a few weeks at that point, but there'd already been enough trust between them to take their physical relationship another step further. He remembers the sheer surprise he'd felt at how good it had been to have Joel's tongue pushing inside of him, how he couldn't stop himself from reaching between his legs to stroke his cock like he so desperately wants to do right now. He remembers the thrill of Joel doing that to him on the couch in the store with people surely walking past them on the other side of the window, oblivious to just how wrecked Spencer had been within mere minutes. The same sort of thrill exists here, too, with Charlotte and Ellie just a couple rooms over in the kitchen and even with the music playing, there's the chance that at a certain point, he and Joel might just forget themselves and be loud enough to be heard.

But none of that matters to him. All he wants to do is make sure his husband feels incredible tonight because even though their first time together--Spencer's first time ever--under the spell had been mind-blowingly fantastic, they'd gone thirteen days before that without any sex at all. The fact that this is a problem for him is almost worth laughing at because a year ago, he hadn't thought twice about not having had sex in over a decade; but he and Joel don't often go very long between sessions, and Spencer knows that two weeks maybe doesn't sound that long but he can't deny that he doesn't take issue with it. It's not even just the physical part of it because as a merman-turned-human, he hadn't known the difference between having sex and not having it. What makes him so adamant about this now is that he'd come so close to being without his husband at all and that both scares and angers him.

He doesn't want to dwell on it, and it's not as if he'd needed a reason to appreciate his husband that much more, but he wants to be able to show it. Fucking his husband like this seems to be a good way to start, and he lets out a ragged moan as he buries his tongue deeper in Joel's ass. Being on the receiving end of this is unspeakably amazing, one of his favorite things Joel does to him in the bedroom--or out of it--but being the one to do it, knowing that he's the reason Joel is practically gasping to catch his breath and cursing and begging, there's just no way to explain how turned on he is by it all.

There's no way to speak right now, and he certainly has no plans to move away to do that because pressing his tongue in and out of his husband, feeling the way Joel tenses and relaxes around him, it's making him hard enough that he's not even sure he could form words if he tried. Instead, he gropes for the bottle of lube that he'd brought over with him, masterfully flipping the cap up with one hand before having no choice but to release Joel's cock so he can coat his fingers with the lube. He's not sure how this is going to work, he's only ever fucked Joel with his fingers while simultaneously sucking his cock, but it's Spencer's hope that his plan will go smoothly enough.

With the slightest bit of hesitation, he pulls back just enough that his tongue is only grazing Joel's ass, and he lets out a breathless sigh as his gaze travels up the length of his husband's body. "God, baby, you look so good right now," he murmurs, nipping lightly at skin before circling Joel's ass with a finger. It's been awhile since they've done it this way, with Spencer being the one to enter him, so he's as careful as Joel still is with him, gently pushing that first finger in while making sure he's watching for any indication of pain. When he doesn't hear any resistance, he pushes it in further, sliding his finger slowly in and out, mesermized by the sight of it. His husband is perfect, he thinks, there's nobody in this world that could possibly be more beautiful or built any better than this. As soon as his finger is pushing into Joel with ease, he adds a second, letting Joel adjust for a moment until spreading them, scissoring them, and it's then that he shifts so that he can push his tongue back in.

He plans on taking care of Joel tonight, in every possible way, this man he loves so much and wants nothing more than to make happy. This entire day had been in celebration of what's to come, of their beautiful future together with a baby that will only expand their hearts with love; but right now, he wants to focus on the present, on this moment, because he knows that when the baby does arrive, they won't have much time to hide away in the library like this. They need to take advantage of their time alone together while they can, and it's not that he's worried their passion for each other will fade or that their relationship will suffer, not at all. It's just that if they have the chance, Spencer has no intention of letting it pass them by.

[Open - Gathering - Baby Shower]

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