[Closed - Spencer - May 30]

[just_another]

In a strange turn of events, Joel loves New York.

The man who's been unable to leave Siren Cove for over a decade, the man who nearly drove his car off the road in a panic the first time he tried, the man who had an anxiety attack at the rail of a ship when he finally managed to leave, absolutely loves everything about New York City.

He and Spencer had arrived the night before and while the apartment Aoife has graciously allowed them use of for the weekend is absolutely beautiful, Joel had found himself at the window staring out at the city with wide eyes for close to fifteen minutes before Spencer had announced they were unpacked and they should go out to find some dinner. They'd gotten distracted be Central Park and Joel had once again found himself completely enchanted, standing at the edge of a lake and staring across at a building he couldn't identify but somehow looked familiar all the same. It had taken Spencer's gentle reminder that he was hungry to actually pull Joel away. By the time they found dinner near Times Square -- one more thing that had stunned Joel to silence -- and then made their way back to the apartment on the subway, he was surprised by just how sore he was from all the walking they'd done.

And today is going to be no different. Today they have the literary tour of bars in New York and today he and Spencer are going to do a shot of whiskey at every single one. Today, by the time they're done, they're going to be very drunk and Joel can't wait. It feels like a real vacation, sort of how the cruise had felt at first, but he's absolutely certain this time they're not going to end up on a magical island with monsters and things that steal magic.

Of course, he thinks he might willingly give up his magic for another week in New York. He's never been so immediately comfortable somewhere that wasn't home and he isn't even sure what it is. People are kind in a way he hadn't expected given the angry New Yorker stereotype, but they've been offered directions more than once and a very kind woman had helped them find their way on the subway the night before. He loves it here and he's sure Spencer can tell.

More than that, he loves that Spencer seems to be enjoying himself, too. The bruises haven't entirely faded, but Joel's potions have helped speed the process and no one has even looked at him twice here. They blend into the crowd with ease, walking down the sidewalks holding hands and although Joel is sure there are moments when they look exactly like the tourists they are, for the most part he doesn't think they stick out all that much at all.

"The tour starts in about an hour," he says, glancing down at his phone as he tries to decide which cardigan to wear. "Do you want to stop for lunch first or get something while we're drinking our way through New York?"

Comments

[doublethepain]

There are moments when Spencer is quite certain that Joel simply possesses the power to read his mind, that's how uncannily often his husband seems to know exactly what he's thinking and voice the exact same thought. Though he knows what's beyond the sight of his husband--the lights brightening skyscrapers, the shuffle of people on the streets below, the shopkeepers waiting for the last couple hours before they're ready to close--none of it seems to matter. Nothing else ever seems to matter when they're wrapped up in each other like this and most of the time, even when they're not. Very soon, they'll be expanding their hearts and lives to include a baby, the child they've been wanting to meet for what feels like forever now, and Spencer knows when that day comes, they won't be able to say they've ever been happier.

But in this particular moment, Spencer has never felt more content. All he can do is sigh, releasing any remaining tension that had built in his muscles from tightening from his orgasm, and closes his eyes so he can hone in on every shift of Joel's cock still inside him, every puff of breath from Joel's lips onto his skin, every drip of sweat that lands on his chest. He shivers at the sound of Joel's low voice in his ear and again when his husband starts to pull out of him, groaning when one leg then the other are lowered uselessly back down to the chair. He feels like his limbs have turned to jelly, and he's not entirely certain that he'll be able to make it to the shower on his own; but given an extra minute to recover, Spencer knows the temptation of being under that warm spray of water with his husband's arms wrapped around him, keeping him safe and protected and loved, will be too overwhelming to resist for any reason, much less for being tired.

When he tries to push himself up from the chair, though, it's to no avail, and he collapses onto his back with a short laugh as he runs a hand through his damp hair. "A little sore," he explains, smirking as he arches a brow up at his husband, though it's not just his ass and legs that are the problem. There are still fading bruises on his back that have only been somewhat aggravated from being fucked against the chair and his shoulder, too, has suffered a bit; but there's nothing about the minor pain that troubles him much, he'd expected it. The effects of drinking both Joel's potion and the whiskey have gone a long way in keeping those issues off his mind tonight, and he doesn't intend on letting them worm their way back in now.


"The good kind," he continues, making another attempt at pushing himself up and this time succeeding as he presses a kiss to Joel's lips, more of a firm reassurance that he's fine than anything else. "The kind that I'm going to wake up to tomorrow and desperately want you to recreate before we have to leave." He pauses, pushing out his bottom lip in a playful pout. "Do we really have to leave? Erin can have the baby here, can't she? The living room is big enough, or there's always the tub. Water births have grown a great deal in popularity in recent years."

It's with a conceding groan that he forces himself to get up from the chair, wobbling just a bit because of his unsteady legs and the effects of the alcohol, which have weakened but are apparently still flowing through him just enough to affect his balance, and Spencer grips Joel's arm to keep himself upright as he takes a step forward. There's a slight breeze on the balcony that cools the warm evening air, and Spencer knows that the apartment is air conditioned but he takes one last look over his shoulder at the skyline before they walk through the glass doors.

"I'm never going to forget this night," he says, looking to Joel with a small smile. "What we did, what we're going to do, how you made me feel. How you always make me feel." He brushes his lips over Joel's shoulder, then over the line of his jaw. "I'm not going to forget any of it."

[just_another]

"We can stay here," Joel says and he knows the conversation isn't entirely serious, but he does mean it all the same. There's something about New York he's fallen in love with and he doesn't think it's just due to the fact that they've come here at just the right time in their lives. They had both needed to get away from Siren Cove after what had happened to Spencer and somehow this trip had been scheduled at just the right time, but he doesn't think it's only that. It's a comfort, yes, and it's been a distraction and he truly believes it's been everything they need in ways they hadn't even known, but he thinks even if they hadn't been through such a traumatic experience only days ago, New York would have proven to be special somehow anyway. It would have captured his attention and his heart without even trying and there's nothing about this city he doesn't love.

He can see them here. The two of them. Their baby, whoever he or she turns out to be. He can see them finding a place to open another location of Crossroads and he can see the three of them in Central Park on warm summer days, a toddler running through the grass, chasing after Huxley while Joel and Spencer watch. He can see them dodging pedestrians on the street as they take their child to school, playfully rolling their eyes and shaking their heads at all the tourists, said with that tone of voice as if they hadn't been tourists in this city once upon a time. For someone who's only ever lived in small towns, Joel can see himself disappearing into the crush of people in New York with ease, without anxiety, with the sense of comfort anonymity brings, and he can see them both flourishing here in ways he never would have imagined.

"Aoife won't mind if we just refuse to leave the apartment," he says, returning the smile before he begins to lead Spencer back inside. The breeze is cool, drying the sweat on his skin and he heaves out a satisfied sigh before he closes the door behind them and closes out the sounds of the city below. It's strange to think he could get used to that, too, that constant sound, the blare of horns and the murmuring of traffic. It's not the sort of thing they hear much of back home, but it hasn't bothered Joel once since they've been here, it's dropped into background noise almost immediately and in a way he actually finds rather comforting. There's just so much about this city he loves.

"Here," he says, leading Spencer into the bathroom and sitting him down on a small wooden bench that lines one wall. As with the rest of the apartment, the bathroom is incredible, far more decadent than anything Joel would ever imagine for themselves, but it's a nice treat. There are places to sit, a huge counter with more space than either of them would ever need, and the shower and tub itself are enormous. Outside he had thought a shower might be most appealing, but now that he's faced with the gigantic tub, all the jets, the vast array of bubble options and the fact that there's more than enough room for both of them to lie comfortably, he has a different idea.

Leaning over the tub, he turns on the taps until the water is the right temperature, then puts in the plug and goes through the bottles sitting on the edge until he finds out with a scent that won't be overpowering. Carefully, he dumps some of the product in and watches as the bubbles start to pile up, then he turns and holds his hand out toward Spencer. "Come on," he says. "This will help." He knows his husband has said he's sore in a good way, but Joel wants nothing more than to just make him feel good and he thinks a warm, soothing bath will help.

[doublethepain]

If they don't actually stay here, Spencer thinks they've both already come to an agreement without actually having to agree to it out loud that they want to come back. It'll be later rather than sooner, seeing as there would be no easy way to travel with a newborn and a brand new life as parents to adjust to, but one day when the time is right, they'll return to New York. They're calling this their test drive, after all, and Spencer can't say that he's certain they'd feel as happy and relaxed anywhere else. The idea of this city has never been one that's sounded especially appealing: busy streets, enormous crowds, a constant barrage of noises and bright lights to fill the evenings; but being here has shown him that it's so much more than that.

There's something about New York that makes him feel like his spirits have been lifted simply by existing here. Maybe it's just being away from Siren Cove, from actually having the chance to leave behind the safety net of home and people who already know them to be here on a private vacation, but Spencer has felt free since the moment they'd stepped off the plane. It's possible, he supposes, that their town itself is what makes him feel like he's shackled in a way, forever chained to a history and past he'll never be disassociated with in spite of how rarely he chooses to discuss it with anyone. A part of the community will always look at him and see the man who might have killed his family and if not that, at the very least, he's the man who was accused of it.

He's the man who'd worked at the library for years until he'd eloped and married the reclusive bookshop owner; he's the man who'd been kidnapped and taken up to the old lighthouse then kidnapped again, like he's cursed somehow to relive old horrors over and over in brand new ways.

But Spencer knows who he really is. He's the man with the husband who loves him, who takes care of him in a way nobody else could, and he watches Joel from the bench--the bench, it's all so excessive in this place and nothing short of what he'd expect of a Coombs residence--with a small, fond smile. That's all it really takes to make him forget how cruel this world can be, just one look at the man before him, because it reminds him that the world isn't so cruel that it would keep him from finding the love of his life. He couldn't have predicted that this would happen, nor would he have wanted to because the surprise of it, of meeting someone and instantly falling for him, has been the best adventure of his life so far.

Soon, they'll be navigating their way through fatherhood and that will be an exciting, incredible thing on its own; but the important thing is that they'll be doing it together, just like they approach everything else. Spencer doesn't waste as much time worrying about what could go wrong anymore, not when there are so many moments passing them by that can be better spent showing Joel that he loves him, and he's in the unique position of being able to do that at nearly all hours of the day. He's lucky, luckier than he thinks he deserves, but he would never give what he and Joel have up for anything. There's nothing in this world that could be more valuable.

"Have I ever told you that I think you should be nominated for sainthood?" he asks as he takes Joel's hand and steps into the tub. The warm water already feels heavenly as he lets his husband help him with slowly lowering himself until the bubbles reach his chest, and Spencer lets out a relieved laugh once they've both settled. "This is perfect. Everything about tonight has been perfect, I don't want it to end."

[just_another]

The trip itself has to end eventually, they're both aware of that, but as Joel wraps his arms around Spencer and pulls him close, he drops a kiss to his shoulder and then whispers against his ear, "It won't." Maybe they can't stay in this apartment forever, maybe they can't stay in New York. They have to go home at the end of this weekend, they have to give back the keys to the apartment and fall back into their lives. There are responsibilities waiting for them, a baby who will soon enter their lives, and Joel doesn't want to do away with any of that, but he also wants Spencer to know that this is never going to end. What they have together, what they are, the way they feel, it will never end. He's sure Spencer knows it already, but being able to say it and mean it more completely than he's ever meant anything before in his life feels incredibly good. There's nothing like this, not at all that compares to the feeling of wrapping his arms around his husband and knowing there's nowhere else in the world either of them would rather be.

Joel leans back against the gentle incline of the tub and he knows he shouldn't be surprised at just how perfect this is for a person to lie in comfortably, but he doesn't think he's ever been in a tub like this before. He hadn't even known they existed and he makes a little mental note to get one like this if they ever feel the need to redo the bathroom. It isn't that he even especially likes being in the bath, but there's nothing he likes quite so much as being able to fully recline and have Spencer lying back against him.

They needed this trip, they needed this night, and Joel closes his eyes, his head still spinning slightly from the alcohol and the heat in the bathroom. He'd read something once about avoiding alcohol when one is in a hot tub, but if they hadn't actually taken heed of that advice while on the cruise, he doesn't imagine them paying attention to it now when they're simply in a warm bubble bath rather than an actual hot tub. Still, the heat is getting to him, making him dizzy in a way he finds entirely delightful and he keeps his eyes closed as he tips his head back and tightens his arms around Spencer. They fit together perfectly, they have right from the beginning, and although there are still times when Joel wishes their first date could have gone like it was supposed to, when it's rare for a week to go by without him feeling a little flash of guilt over the fact that he hadn't just stayed at Spencer's house after they'd been released from the hospital, for the most part he accepts that there's nothing to be done about any of it.

There is never any undoing the past. There's only this, being content and comfortable, having forgiven himself for his part in Spencer's injuries and accepting that this man loves him regardless. There's only going forward, taking care to be exactly the man Spencer deserves now for the rest of his life. Making sure he's safe and loved and never in any danger if Joel is able to prevent it. He tilts his head, nuzzling against Spencer's ear and the side of his neck and then his shoulder before he draws in a deep breath and then lets it out again, completely relaxed, completely satisfied and happier than he's felt in a long time.

A week ago he had been terrified for Spencer, but now they're here. Now they're together and he's going to do everything he can to make sure they stay this way.

"It won't end," he says again, pressing another kiss to Spencer's shoulder. "It won't, because I love you and I'll never stop loving you."