just_another | (open)

There's half a bottle of whiskey sitting on the counter in Crossroads and Joel is sitting just behind it, staring at it thoughtfully, wondering if he'll ever be able to drink it again or even just the smell of whiskey will remind him of Spencer for the rest of his life. He doesn't need to drink it, there had been enough beer in his fridge to get him sufficiently drunk, especially when combined with the painkillers the doctor had given him for his wrist, but he wants to drink it.

He wants to share it with Spencer. That was the plan. He likes whiskey, but he'd only bought it because Spencer likes it, too, and while they'd had some of it together already, the plan was to finish it with him. Because Joel had plans. He'd been stupid enough to make plans all the while knowing it could never last because he's done bad things and he's hurt people and there are reasons he's tried so hard to keep his distance. Good reasons. But he'd been stupid and he'd listened to the part of him that thought it was okay to move on. The part of him that felt weightless every time Spencer smiled in his direction. The part that thought asking him out on a date was going to end well.

And it hadn't. It hadn't ended well at all. Joel isn't prone to exaggeration, but he thinks calling last night a complete disaster isn't far off. Mark had come and he'd taken Spencer and he'd hurt him. Joel knows it could have been worse; he knows they both could have died in that lighthouse, but that doesn't make the things that had been done to Spencer any easier to stomach. Especially not when he knows it's his fault. If they hadn't gotten close, if he hadn't let himself get so... so carried away, then Spencer never would have become a target.

Now he doesn't even think it matters. He can't imagine that Spencer will want anything to do with him anymore and that's why he's sitting in his closed, dark store instead of somewhere with Spencer. He should have stayed at the hospital, he shouldn't have been such a coward, but he doesn't think he can face hearing Spencer tell him he doesn't want him around anymore. So he's here. And he's drunk. And he's swaying back and forth on his stool behind the counter, wondering if there's enough whiskey left in the bottle to get him so drunk that he blacks out for a week or two.

He doesn't want to be here. He wants to go back and erase Friday night and do it all over again. He wants to be wherever Spencer is. That's the only thing he wants and he wants it so badly that his chest aches with it, but he can't have it.

"Fuck it," he mutters, his words already slurred, then uncaps the bottle of whiskey and takes a long swallow. Black out drunk sounds better than any of his other options right about now.

[Timed to Saturday late afternoon/evening. While the store is technically closed, he'll open the door for anyone who knocks or rings the bell. Given the violence of the attack on Spencer, the news has probably gotten around, so feel free to come bang on his door and assume your pup has heard. Joel himself has a black eye, a bruised jaw and a sprained wrist.]

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"Well, if it helps, Mark Fuller is likely to be incarcerated for quite a while," Levi said. He knew that Joel probably wasn't running from Mark though, more from the fact that people knew his secret now and the fear that they would judge him based on that. It was something that Levi could understand and honestly wouldn't blame Joel if he left.

"Whether it's prison or a mental facility, I don't know. But you won't have to worry about him for a long, long time."

He doesn't say it, but he knows Mark will likely never make it out of prison. Lara's words had made it clear Mark Fuller will never be able to come back to Siren Cove and while there's a part of Joel that had wanted to tell her not to do it, not to go down that path, not for him, he hadn't been able to.

And he'll never tell another person what she's suggested, he'll never put her in danger like that.

"I know," he says, then lets out a long breath. "And I'm very grateful for that. It's a relief to not have to worry about him anymore."

"In the meantime, try not to blame yourself too much. You shouldn't blame yourself at all, but I realize that's not going to happen," Levi told him. He hoped that Joel was at least able to forgive himself enough to talk to Spencer about this and possibly let him back into his life. If not, he was worried about where Joel might end up.

"And talk to Spencer, soon."

Joel draws in a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling before he nods. For hours now he's been trying to convince himself it would be better for everyone involved if he just stayed away from Spencer, but he's beginning to realize he can't. Even if Spencer tells him to go away, he has to at least try. He's already come to care about him far too much to not try.

"I can't go see him drunk," he says, then huffs out a laugh. "I'll go... I'll see him tomorrow. I'll try, anyway. He might not want to see me."

"You should probably go see him tomorrow afternoon," Levi advised. Joel would probably have a miserable hangover tomorrow unless Canadians were blessed with some sort of tolerance to what they probably viewed as inferior alcohol. Unlikely, but it was entirely possible.

"But I think he'll see you."

"I hope you're right," Joel says, looking up at Levi. He doesn't think he needs to say it for anyone to see that Spencer has become incredibly important to him in what he feels is a short period of time. He knows it's due to how few people he's let in in the past few years, he knows that most adults move much quicker than he and Spencer have managed in a month, but he's more than happy with that pace.

Rubbing a hand over his eyes, he blinks a few times, then asks, "How long until he's... until Mark is gone? Do you need me to come make another statement?" He'd given one last night at the hospital, but his only experience with giving statements had been in Shediac where they had grilled him multiple times trying to get him to admit he'd killed Amy.

"Everything he's been charged with is pretty serious, he's already been moved to the county lock up. Any sort of trial he has won't be in Siren Cove," Levi reassured Joel. Of course that didn't mean that Joel would never have to see him again because if there was a trial then both Joel, Spencer and Levi would probably have to testify.

"Lawyers from either side might want to ask you questions but I can't be sure. He might be found mentally incompetent to stand trial. He's making some pretty wild accusations that, outside of Siren Cove, sound like madness. That's not for me to decide but that's what would make the issue go away the fastest."

"But psychiatric facilities often allow for conditional releases; day trips, even weekend passes, so long as the patient is taking medication and has been non-violent for a significant period of time," Joel says and he's surprised he only slurs some of the words. The fact that he's drunk makes it sound like he might not know what he's talking about, but he does. It's not a subject that has interested him for any particular reason, but it does interest him and he's read a lot of books on the subject of institutions and how they've changed over the years.

"Then again, people can be paroled out of prison," he says, waving his hand. As far as he knows, Mark has only shown violence toward him and he imagines it won't be difficult for him to behave long enough to get out earlier than expected. At this point, Joel's genuinely not sure what he's hoping for anymore. "I don't know what to think right now."

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