[closed - Spencer]

[just_another]

Dane is eighteen days old.

It's been eighteen days since he and Spencer have worked a full day at the store and while Joel finds he's a little restless now and then, he generally doesn't miss it at all. Eventually they're going to have to go back, probably within the next few weeks. He knows they can't expect Charlotte to take care of the store forever, but for the moment he's enjoying just being able to be at home with their son. He knows this isn't a chance everyone gets to take, a lot of situations depend on their employer, and he knows they're lucky to be self-employed and have someone available to take over for them, because these first few weeks have been amazing.

Exhausting, of course, but amazing.

They take turns doing a lot of things now that Dane is here and still a little too small to be brought out into the world. Joel has read a lot of differing opinions on the subject and while the logical part of him doesn't think it would be the end of the world to take him on a walk, he's also terribly paranoid and anxious when it comes to their baby, and the idea that he might get horribly ill because he's too young to have been properly vaccinated yet makes Joel feel like someone is sitting on his chest. So he and Spencer take turns walking Huxley, the other staying at home with Dane. And they take turns shopping for groceries, although with Lou's basket they really haven't been wanting for food. They even take turns sleeping sometimes, but Joel has gotten better about letting himself sleep when Dane does instead of just staying awake and watching their son's tiny chest rise and fall.

Right now Spencer is out walking Huxley as dusk settles over Siren Cove and Joel is upstairs in their bedroom, all the lights turned low as Dane settles comfortably on Joel's chest. They don't generally sleep with him in the bed, mostly because Joel is terrified of crushing him by accident, but they have a small bassinet that attaches to the side of the bed and he would normally shift Dane there once he's fallen asleep, but this is perfect and Joel can't even think about moving.

He's drifting a little himself, a book held loosely in one hand, the other resting against Dane's back, but he isn't asleep. Not quite. He's waiting for the sound of the door, he's waiting for Spencer to come home and enjoy this moment with him.

Comments

[doublethepain]

For some reason, that's the absolute last thing Spencer had expected to hear out of his husband after such a tender, quiet moment in the afterglow of having just had sex, and it catches him so off-guard that he barely has time to turn his head to muffle a laugh against the pillow so he doesn't wake the baby. The laughter gives way to a rather embarrassing giggle fit that makes his shoulders quake, but he can't find it in himself to feel any actual shame when he's just thoroughly fucked his husband and has a hand-shaped mark on Joel's ass to show for it. When he thinks he finally has himself back under control, he turns back to Joel, though he has to bite down hard on his lip and avoid real eye contact with his husband for fear that he'll just start laughing again. Instead, he arches his neck to get a better look at the ass he knows so very well and gives a satisfied nod at what he sees.

"I did, I left my mark," Spencer says, flicking his tongue over his lips before nibbling lightly at Joel's shoulder and letting his head fall back against the pillow. He takes a deep breath in and out, letting slip one last amused snicker, then finally meets Joel's gaze and in that moment, it's like the rest of the world fades away again. His expression softens as he reaches up with one hand to sweep the damp curls that are still sticking to Joel's forehead back into place, brushes his fingers along the length of Joel's jawline, grazes the pad of his thumb over Joel's bottom lip. He loves that they can be playful with each other because they're like this with no one else; he loves that when he's alone with Joel, he can be someone entirely different from the man his friends know him as but still exactly the same all at once because Joel doesn't just know one part of him, he knows every part. Spencer feels it in every charged second between them, he is beyond loved and adored and appreciated and even now, with Joel teasing about the spanking, he feels his heart constrict from how much he loves this man.

"You are mine, by the way," he continues, "and not just because the tattoo says so." He traces his fingers down the length of Joel's neck until he reaches the center of his chest, spreading his hand out to rest there. "Always connected, you and me. There's nothing I believe in more than that." He pauses, narrowing his eyes. "I would maybe recommend skipping the hand print tattoo, though. If you really like it that much, I'll just have to make sure I replace it every time we have sex. Shouldn't be too difficult a task."

He'll gladly oblige if that's what Joel wants, if Joel likes the idea of Spencer doing that regularly, and Spencer thinks he wouldn't mind it so much if his husband were to do the same to him. They're not often especially rough with each other and even this time, the smacks hadn't been planned at all, simply a reaction that had been born of Spencer's desperation to reach his climax; but some nights, they do more in the way of handling each other with a bit more force, a bit more tugging of the hair and putting into place rather than simply guiding, and they wouldn't do it if they weren't both entirely comfortable with it. They don't quite have the luxury of doing that as often now, seeing as being rougher with each other often leads to them being louder, too, and that part's a bit difficult with a baby nearby.

Still, Spencer enjoys their quieter intimacy, too, because it gives them more of a chance to be engrossed in each other, to focus solely on moving together in a well-practiced harmony, but he often likes it best when they can find a nice compromise. They usually do end up somewhere between making love and fucking, though Spencer has learned that with Joel, the two aren't mutually exclusive, and even the mere thought of Joel begging him next time to smack his ass makes his cock, still inside his husband's body, twitch.

"Okay, if we're not careful, you're going to turn me on all over again just by existing and this time, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep quiet," Spencer says, resting his hands over Joel's hips, helping to lift his husband so he can slip his length out with a distressed groan. "That's my least favorite part of fucking you, you know. Not being inside you anymore." He scoots up on the bed and toward his side of it, urging Joel to roll onto the space beside him because there's really nothing better that Spencer can think of to do right now than just lie still in the arms of his husband in their bed.

Dane is still sleeping, the sweat is cooling on his skin, and Spencer is sated enough that he thinks he could easily fall asleep if the baby will let them have just a little bit more time. "I love you, Joel," he murmurs, and it's nothing Joel hasn't heard before but it encompasses all the contentment he feels right now that he can't otherwise express. Spencer suspects it will be enough.

[just_another]

"It is my only goal in life to repeatedly turn you on simply by existing," Joel answers in a voice that would be cheerful if not for the fact that he sounds utterly exhausted as well. He makes a distressed little noise of agreement when Spencer says that slipping out of him is his least favourite part, because Joel agrees completely. When he's the one inside Spencer he often just wants to stay there for as long as he possibly can, even though he knows eventually it's going to be impossible. Eventually they have to move, they have to get on with their lives, but in the moment there's nothing more important he can imagine than being exactly where he is. And the same can be said now, lying here with Spencer inside him, he much prefers to be connected to his husband in that way, but it's absurd to think they can just lie like this forever. No matter how badly Joel might want to.

But he slides off Spencer and into the space created for him, reaching out and wrapping his arms around his husband. They're still warm and sticky and it should be uncomfortable to pull Spencer's body against his, but it isn't. There's nothing that's ever uncomfortable about being close like this. It's his favourite place to be, especially with Dane sleeping in his basinet beside their bed, surrounded by the two people in this world who mean the most to him. Joel knows he's a lucky man, there isn't a day that goes by that he's not aware of it, but moments like this really drive it home. There are many people in the world who don't get anything like this. People who go home alone, just like he did for many years, people who are lonely, people who want to meet someone to love the way Joel loves Spencer. There are so many people actively trying to find something like this for themselves and meanwhile Joel never even made the attempt and still found himself here. He is lucky and he knows it.

Shifting on the bed, he nuzzles against Spencer's throat, smiling when his husband says he loves him. There's never going to be a day when he tires of hearing that, it still fills him with the sort of warmth he'd never known before and he knows it's going to for the rest of his life. Saying it to Spencer for the first time had felt so right and hearing him say it back, the words practically trembling out of them. Midsummer's Eve had heightened everything, had made Joel's magic more potent, the electricity visibly sparking between the two of them, but he hadn't doubted the truth of his words or his feelings for even a second. They had nothing to do with the magic in the air that night. For weeks already Joel had been in love with Spencer, had known it from the night of Lara's beach party, but that was the first time he'd been able to say it and it had been absolutely the perfect time. He remembers how good it had felt to say the words and to hear them in return, how happy he'd been. Spencer saying he loves Joel still does that to him. The words fill him with the kind of joy he's never really known before and nothing can hold a candle to it. What he feels when he looks at Dane is a wonderful sort of joy as well, but it's different.

And he's lucky enough to know both kinds of joy.

"I love you, Spencer," he breathes in return. They're such simple words, but they really do encompass everything he wants to say in that moment. He's heard it said before that it's so much more important to show someone you love them than to say it, but Joel disagrees. While he knows it's important that people be kind to each other, that they do little things over the course of the day to remind their partner how much they love them, he thinks the words are just as important, too. Everything he does for Spencer in a day is something he does because he loves him and he's sure everything Spencer does in return is done for the same reason. But there's a power in those words, in stopping for just a moment in the middle of a busy day and saying I love you. Without action, of course, they might not mean anything, but Joel thinks they're both equally as important. He's never going to stop saying those words to Spencer. Never.