Joel Waters-Baker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
just_another) wrote2015-07-07 04:32 pm
just_another) wrote2015-07-07 04:32 pm
[closed - Spencer]
Dane is eighteen days old.
It's been eighteen days since he and Spencer have worked a full day at the store and while Joel finds he's a little restless now and then, he generally doesn't miss it at all. Eventually they're going to have to go back, probably within the next few weeks. He knows they can't expect Charlotte to take care of the store forever, but for the moment he's enjoying just being able to be at home with their son. He knows this isn't a chance everyone gets to take, a lot of situations depend on their employer, and he knows they're lucky to be self-employed and have someone available to take over for them, because these first few weeks have been amazing.
Exhausting, of course, but amazing.
They take turns doing a lot of things now that Dane is here and still a little too small to be brought out into the world. Joel has read a lot of differing opinions on the subject and while the logical part of him doesn't think it would be the end of the world to take him on a walk, he's also terribly paranoid and anxious when it comes to their baby, and the idea that he might get horribly ill because he's too young to have been properly vaccinated yet makes Joel feel like someone is sitting on his chest. So he and Spencer take turns walking Huxley, the other staying at home with Dane. And they take turns shopping for groceries, although with Lou's basket they really haven't been wanting for food. They even take turns sleeping sometimes, but Joel has gotten better about letting himself sleep when Dane does instead of just staying awake and watching their son's tiny chest rise and fall.
Right now Spencer is out walking Huxley as dusk settles over Siren Cove and Joel is upstairs in their bedroom, all the lights turned low as Dane settles comfortably on Joel's chest. They don't generally sleep with him in the bed, mostly because Joel is terrified of crushing him by accident, but they have a small bassinet that attaches to the side of the bed and he would normally shift Dane there once he's fallen asleep, but this is perfect and Joel can't even think about moving.
He's drifting a little himself, a book held loosely in one hand, the other resting against Dane's back, but he isn't asleep. Not quite. He's waiting for the sound of the door, he's waiting for Spencer to come home and enjoy this moment with him.
It's been eighteen days since he and Spencer have worked a full day at the store and while Joel finds he's a little restless now and then, he generally doesn't miss it at all. Eventually they're going to have to go back, probably within the next few weeks. He knows they can't expect Charlotte to take care of the store forever, but for the moment he's enjoying just being able to be at home with their son. He knows this isn't a chance everyone gets to take, a lot of situations depend on their employer, and he knows they're lucky to be self-employed and have someone available to take over for them, because these first few weeks have been amazing.
Exhausting, of course, but amazing.
They take turns doing a lot of things now that Dane is here and still a little too small to be brought out into the world. Joel has read a lot of differing opinions on the subject and while the logical part of him doesn't think it would be the end of the world to take him on a walk, he's also terribly paranoid and anxious when it comes to their baby, and the idea that he might get horribly ill because he's too young to have been properly vaccinated yet makes Joel feel like someone is sitting on his chest. So he and Spencer take turns walking Huxley, the other staying at home with Dane. And they take turns shopping for groceries, although with Lou's basket they really haven't been wanting for food. They even take turns sleeping sometimes, but Joel has gotten better about letting himself sleep when Dane does instead of just staying awake and watching their son's tiny chest rise and fall.
Right now Spencer is out walking Huxley as dusk settles over Siren Cove and Joel is upstairs in their bedroom, all the lights turned low as Dane settles comfortably on Joel's chest. They don't generally sleep with him in the bed, mostly because Joel is terrified of crushing him by accident, but they have a small bassinet that attaches to the side of the bed and he would normally shift Dane there once he's fallen asleep, but this is perfect and Joel can't even think about moving.
He's drifting a little himself, a book held loosely in one hand, the other resting against Dane's back, but he isn't asleep. Not quite. He's waiting for the sound of the door, he's waiting for Spencer to come home and enjoy this moment with him.
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Even that night, he'd known there would never be any sort of future with Darcy, he'd been under no delusions about that; but if he really considers why he'd ended up in bed with her at the Inn & Lodge, Spencer thinks that for a moment, he'd wanted anyone to think he was worth the trouble. It's rare that he compares himself to other people, he doesn't look at people in this town and wonder whether he's as attractive or as likable because he doesn't particularly care. Insecurity has played an enormous part in his life, yes, but more than a decade had gone by since he'd lost his virginity without much of a thought being given to whether he was the kind of person who could ever be loved.
He'd simply just come to the conclusion that he wasn't and that was that. It'd been a fact he'd accepted, almost as easily as his own name, and that had made things so much easier. Believing he'd always be alone had somehow been better for him than holding on to any sort of hope that one day, someone could be as passionate about him as he knows his mother had been for his father.
When he's with Joel, there's nothing that could make his mind wander. There's no thinking of someone else or something else to make him come, no outside distraction--aside from their baby now, he supposes--that could make him any less attracted to his husband, and Spencer finds himself driving his cock harder and deeper as Joel rocks through the aftershocks of his orgasm. He feels aware of everything, like all his senses have been enhanced. The warmth of the come that's just been spilled onto his body, the sound of Joel's heavy breathing and occasional whimpers, the sight of his husband's skin and hair damp with sweat as he continues to move just to make sure Spencer will feel good, too, it's all so overwhelming that by the time he thinks he's ready to come, he realizes it's already happening.
Joel is so tight around him as he lets go with a cry that he has to muffle with the palm of his hand, and Spencer has to fight to keep from letting the tears that have welled in his eyes from falling down his cheeks. He pulses into Joel steadily and even after he's stopped, he continues to carefully roll his hips, unwilling to pull out quite yet. Some of his favorite moments are when they can lie still together after they've come, one of them still deeply settled inside the other as they work to control their breathing and let their bodies stick together in a mess of sweat and come. He lets out a little laugh as he brushes his fingers lightly over Joel's ass, trying his best to soothe the skin he knows must have reddened from the way his hand had come down on it, and Spencer can't deny that he isn't looking forward to seeing the mark.
"You're amazing," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to Joel's shoulder, his neck, his cheek. "I wish I could stay wrapped up in you forever."
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Not that he would ever look to anyone else for this sort of relationship. Needing to be with multiple people isn't something Joel necessarily understands, not when he'd been perfectly comfortable with the idea of never being with anyone again. Spencer has stood out right from the beginning, however, he'd made a place for himself in Joel's life before either of them had even realized it was happening and Joel remembers the first time he had realized he was actually attracted to him. That this wasn't just an awkward friendship building, but something more, something he wanted desperately to become more important and more meaningful with every day that passed. He remembers sitting in the library, getting drunk off a bottle of whiskey and wondering what it would feel like to sweep Spencer's hair back from his face and press his palm against his cheek. Never before had he so desperately wanted just to touch someone, to feel their warm skin against his, and it had come as a real shock to understand this was attraction he was feeling. Something he thought he'd left behind a long time ago.
And now they're here. So far from where they'd both begun, so happy and in sync with one another. It doesn't surprise Joel anymore when Spencer knows exactly what he wants. They can't read each others' minds, but Joel thinks they come as close to that as is possible without delving into real psychic powers. He doesn't know if this is what it's like for everyone who's truly in love, but he doesn't care. Comparing their relationship to any other isn't something that interests him, because this is the only one he belongs in. Nothing would ever look as good to him as this marriage, so it just doesn't matter how other people experience love. They have theirs and that's all Joel needs.
After a moment or two, he can feel his heart beginning to slow, his breathing evens out and then he laughs, lifting his head a little so he can look at Spencer. He isn't sure how successful they were in keeping quiet, but Dane still seems content enough to sleep for the time being, so he supposes they didn't get too loud. Even so, he keeps his voice hushed now, wanting nothing more than to just lie here for a little while in the glow of their pleasure before their baby needs them again. "You smacked my ass," he says and although there's an accusing tone to his voice, it's clearly said with amusement and pleasure. "I think you smacked it hard enough to leave a mark."
He twists a little, still on top of Spencer, still unwilling to move, and does his best to look at his ass where Spencer's fingers are smoothing over his skin. There's a red mark left behind, just as he suspected, and although it's fading now, he can see it clear enough, the outline of Spencer's hand. Something about that strikes him as particularly funny and it's probably at least partly due to the rush of pleasure that had just coursed through him, but Joel finds himself laughing as he ducks his head again and presses his lips to Spencer's cheek and nose, then his jaw and his chin. "You did," he whispers, his shoulders still shaking with laughter. "You left a hand print on my ass, Spencer. Maybe I should get a tattoo just like you did, only I can get the outline of your hand on my butt. No one else would ever see it, but if it were to happen accidentally, then they would know I was absolutely yours." He knows he's being rather silly, but he feels so good, so warm and so loved still wrapped up in the warmth of his husband.
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"I did, I left my mark," Spencer says, flicking his tongue over his lips before nibbling lightly at Joel's shoulder and letting his head fall back against the pillow. He takes a deep breath in and out, letting slip one last amused snicker, then finally meets Joel's gaze and in that moment, it's like the rest of the world fades away again. His expression softens as he reaches up with one hand to sweep the damp curls that are still sticking to Joel's forehead back into place, brushes his fingers along the length of Joel's jawline, grazes the pad of his thumb over Joel's bottom lip. He loves that they can be playful with each other because they're like this with no one else; he loves that when he's alone with Joel, he can be someone entirely different from the man his friends know him as but still exactly the same all at once because Joel doesn't just know one part of him, he knows every part. Spencer feels it in every charged second between them, he is beyond loved and adored and appreciated and even now, with Joel teasing about the spanking, he feels his heart constrict from how much he loves this man.
"You are mine, by the way," he continues, "and not just because the tattoo says so." He traces his fingers down the length of Joel's neck until he reaches the center of his chest, spreading his hand out to rest there. "Always connected, you and me. There's nothing I believe in more than that." He pauses, narrowing his eyes. "I would maybe recommend skipping the hand print tattoo, though. If you really like it that much, I'll just have to make sure I replace it every time we have sex. Shouldn't be too difficult a task."
He'll gladly oblige if that's what Joel wants, if Joel likes the idea of Spencer doing that regularly, and Spencer thinks he wouldn't mind it so much if his husband were to do the same to him. They're not often especially rough with each other and even this time, the smacks hadn't been planned at all, simply a reaction that had been born of Spencer's desperation to reach his climax; but some nights, they do more in the way of handling each other with a bit more force, a bit more tugging of the hair and putting into place rather than simply guiding, and they wouldn't do it if they weren't both entirely comfortable with it. They don't quite have the luxury of doing that as often now, seeing as being rougher with each other often leads to them being louder, too, and that part's a bit difficult with a baby nearby.
Still, Spencer enjoys their quieter intimacy, too, because it gives them more of a chance to be engrossed in each other, to focus solely on moving together in a well-practiced harmony, but he often likes it best when they can find a nice compromise. They usually do end up somewhere between making love and fucking, though Spencer has learned that with Joel, the two aren't mutually exclusive, and even the mere thought of Joel begging him next time to smack his ass makes his cock, still inside his husband's body, twitch.
"Okay, if we're not careful, you're going to turn me on all over again just by existing and this time, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep quiet," Spencer says, resting his hands over Joel's hips, helping to lift his husband so he can slip his length out with a distressed groan. "That's my least favorite part of fucking you, you know. Not being inside you anymore." He scoots up on the bed and toward his side of it, urging Joel to roll onto the space beside him because there's really nothing better that Spencer can think of to do right now than just lie still in the arms of his husband in their bed.
Dane is still sleeping, the sweat is cooling on his skin, and Spencer is sated enough that he thinks he could easily fall asleep if the baby will let them have just a little bit more time. "I love you, Joel," he murmurs, and it's nothing Joel hasn't heard before but it encompasses all the contentment he feels right now that he can't otherwise express. Spencer suspects it will be enough.
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But he slides off Spencer and into the space created for him, reaching out and wrapping his arms around his husband. They're still warm and sticky and it should be uncomfortable to pull Spencer's body against his, but it isn't. There's nothing that's ever uncomfortable about being close like this. It's his favourite place to be, especially with Dane sleeping in his basinet beside their bed, surrounded by the two people in this world who mean the most to him. Joel knows he's a lucky man, there isn't a day that goes by that he's not aware of it, but moments like this really drive it home. There are many people in the world who don't get anything like this. People who go home alone, just like he did for many years, people who are lonely, people who want to meet someone to love the way Joel loves Spencer. There are so many people actively trying to find something like this for themselves and meanwhile Joel never even made the attempt and still found himself here. He is lucky and he knows it.
Shifting on the bed, he nuzzles against Spencer's throat, smiling when his husband says he loves him. There's never going to be a day when he tires of hearing that, it still fills him with the sort of warmth he'd never known before and he knows it's going to for the rest of his life. Saying it to Spencer for the first time had felt so right and hearing him say it back, the words practically trembling out of them. Midsummer's Eve had heightened everything, had made Joel's magic more potent, the electricity visibly sparking between the two of them, but he hadn't doubted the truth of his words or his feelings for even a second. They had nothing to do with the magic in the air that night. For weeks already Joel had been in love with Spencer, had known it from the night of Lara's beach party, but that was the first time he'd been able to say it and it had been absolutely the perfect time. He remembers how good it had felt to say the words and to hear them in return, how happy he'd been. Spencer saying he loves Joel still does that to him. The words fill him with the kind of joy he's never really known before and nothing can hold a candle to it. What he feels when he looks at Dane is a wonderful sort of joy as well, but it's different.
And he's lucky enough to know both kinds of joy.
"I love you, Spencer," he breathes in return. They're such simple words, but they really do encompass everything he wants to say in that moment. He's heard it said before that it's so much more important to show someone you love them than to say it, but Joel disagrees. While he knows it's important that people be kind to each other, that they do little things over the course of the day to remind their partner how much they love them, he thinks the words are just as important, too. Everything he does for Spencer in a day is something he does because he loves him and he's sure everything Spencer does in return is done for the same reason. But there's a power in those words, in stopping for just a moment in the middle of a busy day and saying I love you. Without action, of course, they might not mean anything, but Joel thinks they're both equally as important. He's never going to stop saying those words to Spencer. Never.